Friday, September 28, 2007

Oh, Right, the Blog! I Knew I Forgot to Stop Ignoring Something!

The reports regarding my demise are quite premature--by a good five months, I'd say, or at most a bad eight. The blog is still kicking too, although my computer is so decrepit that I had to resort to acting out my password in order to jog its feeble memory, and even then it finally just took my word for it. In any case, I have plenty of ideas for really inane blog posts, but just never the time to excrete them. After all, precisely who is going to create a display for the living room of old Newsday TV Guides with Halloween-themed covers if not me, huh? *Sigh*, as that mopey asshole Charlie Brown would say. But he's dead and, to iterate, I am not.

(Why do "iterate" and "reiterate" both mean "to state again?" And why is "ginormous" in the dictionary? Let's just throw "irregardless" and "squoze" in there while we're at it. Seriously, whom snuck them in there?)

Anyway, just sit tight (or sit, tight) as I swear on a stack of musty Sears Wish Books that I will have some goddamn thing up here soon... some autumn musings, a presentation of evidence to make the case for Bushie-Bush's possible pre-senility dementia, or maybe a digital snap of said horror-ful display. As for me and the wifey, all is well, except for what isn't. (Well, that's life, and you know what they say about life--can't live with it...) The cat is getting around better, done taking pills and back to being one.

Since it's too long past to wish Mr. and Mrs. Lantern Fishworks a wonderful wedding day, I'll just say Happy seven-week (or so) anniversary! Have you mutually decided whether the toilet paper hangs off the front of the roll or the back yet? Because that's what split up Hank Azaria and Helen Hunt, you know. That and they're gay.

Welcome back, Don't Parade in my Rain! Welcome back, me! They missed you!

And to all the visitors, thanks for checking out my blog! Even though you were really only looking for the lyrics to "Don't Rain on my Parade!" (They're not here, but thanks!)