Saturday, December 22, 2018

The Island-Ear, Issue 84E, Dec. 21-Jan 10, 1981.

I just snagged a trove of these old Long Island-published magazines off eBay. Well, maybe not a trove, but a few, to go along with the few that I already had. I may still post the '84 holiday issue if I have the time, but I really wanted to feature this one because it reflects the crossing over in my adolescent musical tastes, from Adult AOR to New Wave. Reading over the various album and single charts, the former is represented by the likes of Christopher Cross and Sheena Easton while the latter, gaining favor mostly thanks to MTV and HBO's "Video Jukebox," included The Police and The Go-Go's. My family got cable in August of '81, so the heavy rotation of Hall & Oates videos may have helped bridge that gap.

The color cover certainly looks festive, with Peter Wolf of The J. Geils Band in red and green. (I'll drop in a line here and there as I see fit, and list the names of advertising clubs and stores for Internet searchers. And as always, click the pics to see them bigger. Actually, I just noticed it works on some pics and not others. Go know.)
Ads for My Father's Place in Roslyn Village, The Wax Museum in Massapequa Park, Ole Salt in West Hempstead...
Northstage in Glen Cove, Sam Ash, Record World/Record Shops at TSS...
An ad for The Next Whiskey Bar in Bellmore. As a word nerd, I have to say that "Pizan's Puzzles" are pretty awful. Asymmetric grids, lots of two-letter answers (mostly initials), and I even saw answer words used in the clue itself... no.
Mum's in the Morton Village Shopping Center in Plainview (your humble Non-Parader worked in that very plaza as a teen!), Fezziwig's Pub in Hempstead, Zig Zag Records in Franklin Square, and Crazy Eddie everywhere...
February's in Elmont...
Navigator's Pub in Wantagh, The Spaceport ("Long Island 's Laser Base") in Huntington, L.I. Record Collector (formerly Scrooge Records) and Butterfield's near Hofstra...
Let's play "Spot the Typos!" I caught two, how 'bout you?
McHebe's Depot (plus coupon!) in Hempstead, Mr. Cheapo Record Exchange in Flushing, Speakerkits in Bellerose, The Record Collection in Massapequa Park...
J.J.'s Place in East Meadow, Island Sound in Merrick (for renting LP's!), and eargasms galore at Half Crown Pub in East Rockaway...

Music Warehouse had a location on Main Street in Huntington, so there's a decent chance I went there at some point. No recollection, however.
Rock Away in Rockaway (duh), Rum Runner of Oyster Bay, Shuster Sound in Valley Stream (listen to Bob, he knows what he's talking about!), and Sound King in Bellmore...
 
IE ads for Legz in Valley Stream featured the work of one artist, interesting stuff that was head and shoulders above most of what you'd find in these pages.
United Artists Theaters has ads in every issue I have, with this two-page center spread for '81.
No royalties for Crumb resulting from The Playground's Mr. Natural rip.
The Stray Cats' breakout album wouldn't hit for another six months or so, but rockabilly was already the gas for this fashion layout by Tanya Indiana, featuring Gary Setzer, brother of Brian (they were in The Tomcats together before Brian went astray).
Ads for Futuri in Valley Stream (for suburban bondage pirates), Mods and Rockers in Hicksville, Sharp Hair also in VS, and Baldwin's What Not Shop.
Ads for Rockin' Bottom Records in Valley Stream and Faces in Copague, plus an answerless quiz.
Solomon Grundy's Pub in Rockville Centre.
If the premise of a fella buying lingerie for his girlfriend as a test of his manhood tickles your funny bone, then by all means read Larry Kleinman's "If They Can't Take a Joke..." column.
Alongside the Top Imports list are ads for Jimmy Byrne's in Flushing, Nino Studio in Baldwin, P.R.I. Record Pressing in Wyandance, and Deja Vu Dance Club in Williston Park.
Here are the latest spinners and programs at WLIR, WBAB, WPLJ and WNEW-FM...
...plus more from WRCN, WNYU, and WBAU, not to mention the musical acts scheduled for your tee-vee.
Bringing up the rear, the inside back cover has an IE-sponsored Rockabilly Dance Party at Heckle & Jeckle's in Massapequa Park...
...while the back is another ad for the joint, with regular appearances by the Joke-Man himself, Jackie Martling. (922-WINE: Use your finger! Aw-haw-haw!!!)
Keep an eye out for another issue--and for Santa, because if I find the time to write up another one of these it'll be a friggin' Christmas miracle!

Monday, November 19, 2018

Life is Just a (Milton-Bradley) Game.

I will get to Thanksgiving (Wait, what? This week?) and all that Christmas nostalgia bullshit before too long, but I was thinking--which is always always a bad start--and just wanted to jot this down before I forget it. God forbid my half-awake, half-still-stoned-on-ZzzQuil, Monday morning musings about life go unrecorded.

Take life step-by-step. Often literally. What do you have to do right now? Do it, then find time to stop taking a step and think about the steps beyond the next step, and sometimes way beyond the next steps. To figure out those steps, first you think about what's important to you. What's important to you depends on your principles and your priorities. We always make lists about the very next steps (that reminds me, cat litter), but feel free to write the big ones down too. Sometimes it seems weird to write down the big things--you're like, "What, I need a note to remember my selfless dedication to albino manatee preservation?" I'm just saying it can't hurt.

Here's my real point: When you scribble out your plans (goals, dreams, whatever), use a plain notebook. Not some fancy fuckin' vegan pleather-bound affirmation journal tied shut with cruelty-free, single-origin hemp twine. You don't write in those. No one does, they just sit on desks, and eventually get nestled away on bookshelves. No one writes in them because the fanciness makes you feel like you should be writing about something important. Remember--you're not writing about something important, you're writing about your life. Yes, it's unique, but still everybody's got one, so get over it. Do you think it's a mistake that your life is referred to in the lower case, but the game and the cereal and even that crappy Eddie Murphy movie are capitalized? No, it's entirely appropriate.

Disclaimer: I may have heard all this somewhere and stolen it, joke for joke. Either that or I'm really tired of my own shtick, which is not only possible, it's perfectly understandable. In any case, I'm gonna stop now. I can't change the cat litter but something must be done.

(One last thing, John Cleese talks about life here and it's really good. Oh, and the last last thing: don't feed the trolls. It really is the most valid modern truism.)


Ha ha, you caught me! I made dad Gacy!

Monday, November 12, 2018

Newsday TV Book Stuff, November 13-19, 1983.

Yeah, I fucked up. Got all busy with life and shit, fell woefully behind on posting TV listings from Long Island Newsday guides of the 70's, and with a Charlie Callas-style FRRRRTTT!--there went your overly-specific nostalgia fix. And just as I was coming up on the Most Wonderful Time of the Year--the new TV season! September, Labor Day, back to school! Then October and Halloween! Then--well, you probably know how the months and holidays go from there.

I swear on Fred Silverman's untended grave that I'll get back to those 1973 issues one day. In the meantime, here's a handful of scans from the Newsday TV Book of this week, 1983. (And if you're still needing that nostalgia itch scratched, you can always check out my YouTube channel (Hugo Faces) for old video clips like commercials and whatnot, or hit up my Facebook group (same name as this blog--go figure!) for posts reflecting the randomest of my whims--you never know WHAT you'll find there! (Other than nothing that occurred after the 80's.)

The Newsday Channel was on Cablevision 24 and had very little live content. It was mostly just on-screen graphics, kinda like a newspaper, but much less convenient.
Here's a Dollar Shoe ad for Thanksgiving, with a clip art pilgrim that looks an awful lot like my tenth grade English teacher, Mr. Ettenson. He is about to annihilate a turkey in the most gruesome way imaginable.
I was no longer visiting Hicks Nurseries to see their animated Christmas displays by this time. It's just as well, as I'm sure I was too old for whatever this Santakins bullshit is.
Finally (What? I said it was just a handful!), here's the Friday afternoon listings, included only for the Baba-Booeyesque hair replacement spokesmodel in the adjacent ad. Hmm, I can't find any online references to a singer from that era named "David Novak."

Gary?

GAH-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Newsday TV Books, August 1974.

I've been trying to plow through the sleepy summer listings on the way to September (when all the new shows began), and at last I offer you August! Let the snoozing begin!
Due to popular demand, I've brought back the TV Line. (My sister asked.) There's some bad Marcus Welby M.D. poetry, and Carol Burton showing tremendous restraint in not telling a smart-alecky reader to piss off and leave the research to the professionals.
Here's that Jean Stapleton info you were wondering about.
Some less-than-inspired Viskupic art this week--still better than nothing--plus some great John Cashman reviews, natch.

 


 Here's a rare close-up on a movie airing in the wee hours. It was also thankfully rare to find blackface in these pages.
 Whoops, I misplaced Monday. Not only do I dig that Minnesota Fats pool table ad, but seeing a special notice about televised impeachment hearings gives me a tickly tingle of anticipation...
 Here's The Odd Couple... Well, geez, you knew that, right? I'll just shut up and let the pics do the talking.
 
  
 
 Here's Saturday morning, mostly for the Freeport Speedway ad.
 
 
The accompanying story about The Rookies was pretty dull so I axed it. If you're that desperate to see it, let me know. I'll read your message, intend to get right on it and immediately forget.
 
 
 Finally, this Lincoln special featured a giant rubber head with Hal Holbrook underneath it.
Burton throws some serious shade at Groucho in this TV Line. 
 
 That's it! I made it! I hardly wrote anything, but it's over with, and that's always the goal with summer. Now I'm on to covering September, with my usual witty insights and pertinent links and all that good shit. Have a great yesterday!