Monday, June 19, 2017

Newsday TV Books, May 1973.

Ah, it's the merry, merry month of May (play along), the very midst of spring, when a young man's fancy turns to a bulky, sweatered body sporting the heads of Nipsey Russell and Dom DeLuise. Huh? Oh, sorry, I got distracted there a sec. By Dean Martin's sideburn-strapped hairpiece.
On the inside cover, we learn that Paul Winchell invented some sort of artificial heart gadgetry. Kind of ironic, considering Knucklehead Smiff died of pulmonary edema. (Probably had something to do with being folded in a suitcase most of the time.)
Yet another cheesecake ad for Holiday Spa. I present these ads strictly because they had facilities in my hometown of Plainview, as noted in the copy. Plus the titties.
This article tells you everything you want to know about Dom D., provided you don't care to hear anything that happened to him after May of 1973. But you can read about Lotsa Luck, his show premiering that coming fall. And did you know he started out as a Garry Moore bit player doing "Dominick the Magician?" (You did not, you filthy fucking liar.)
"Robert Young with the Young..." No, I'm not going there. I will say that Arte Johnson looks like John Denver recovering from a head injury. With the WOR Million Dollar Movie at 8pm, reviewer John Cashman adds another mediocre flick to the "sitthroughable" category, featuring a complimentary notice that probably didn't go in Van Heflin's scrapbook.
I found an article about Paumanok, "the magazine of Long Island living," as seen in this advertisement at lower right. It's on the nets here, but I didn't find much else. Jeez, nice Mother's Day gift, bonehead--a subscription to a magazine that barely exists. Now, mother, why don't you cook me something and then you can "touch" dance while I take pictures...
Gary Viskupic portrays Eisensteins young (with a relatively tame 'do) and, I presume, old (though oddly I can't find any actual photos to back this up). Judging from the review of The Dunwich Horror at 11:30 this late Monday evening, John Cashman might have been a Lovecraft fan.
Another Viskupic sketch, this one with Paula Abdul as a train, and a cameo by a tiny befanged skull. If you plan on both reading this page and someday seeing The Maze... uh, spoiler alert.
The Friday night listings show us Junior Miss 1972 Lydia Anne Hodson (who was also a Breck Girl), giving up her crown if not her Diane Keatonesque chapeau. If you were jonesing for the comfort of distant Yuletide spirit this May 11th, Love, American Style offered up a maintenance hit by repeating the ep with the holiday segment, "Love and the Christmas Punch."
Visk was putting in the overtime again this week, here with an I Remember Mama close-up that makes me think he had a thing for Barbara Bel Geddes.
Finally this week, a back cover of Macy's furniture and tchotchkes like 70's Technicolor dynamite. I call this the Buck Rogers line... because it saves space.
Enough comedy jokes, let's now celebrate motherhood with Rosalind Russell, although her demon horns inspire a feeling of fear rather than maternal warmth.
Russell's good, but I prefer the TV version, Sada Thompson.
A reader asks about a poem read by Victor Buono on The Tonight Show. "I Trust You'll Treat her Well," about a trepidatious father sending his daughter off to kindergarten, was evidently written by someone named Dan Valentine, but even now Buono is commonly credited with authorship. Interesting in that Buono was relatively open about being gay and had no children.
The featured Melba Tolliver-hosted program this Sunday evening didn't actually air (due to sports overtime) but was dropped into the schedule a few weeks later. If you go to her website, Tolliver hasn't written a blog post in over four years. These facts are, to my knowledge, unrelated.
Sorry for the waviness of this scan, but I wanted the full spread on this cool Viskupic depiction of what looks like Johnny Cash walking the Skylab line, along with that Monday afternoon's sched.
I have never heard of this movie The Sergeant, but I suppose I'd sign on for Rod Steiger and John Phillip Law playing furtive footsie over reruns of Circle of Fear and Room 222. However, WPIX (channel 11) had Newsday's TV critic Marvin Kitman at nine, hosting "Comedy Hour of TV Comedy" (I think that's supposed to be a joke) with an episode each of The Honeymooners and The Phil Silvers Show.

That's all for now, but...

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Newsday TV Books, April 1973.

Have I mentioned how far behind I am in getting this done? Okay then, I'll skip that part and get right to it!

For the first week of April, 1973, Newsday offered this Gunsmoke cover, celebrating 19 years on CBS, and then an interview piece with Amanda Blake. (Note the askew cutting along the top. Oh, and click the pics to make them bigger. I'll tell you that in case you're a real dope.)
Blake had a long career in animal rights activism after this, but sadly she is believed to have contracted HIV from her fourth husband and later died of AIDS-related complications in 1989.
Terry Williams is more than just a guy on "Rollin'," you know! (And other TV trivialities.)
I've put both this Easter ad for Hicks Nurseries and the April's-Fools-joke movie listing from John Cashman onto the nets before. Since they were printed alongside each other, here they are in the original context. (Mr. Rogers was from Latrobe, near Pittsburgh, in case you were wondering...)
I like that you could watch the John Ford tribute on CBS, then switch over to channel 9 for Fort Apache. Way to thoughtfully program, WOR! Albert Brooks on Jack Paar Tonite and some good Cashman reviews round out this Monday night.
More specials on Wednesday, highlighted by some Gary Viskupic art. Normally I'd present Viskupic's work alone, but I didn't want to lose Cashman's exasperated take on Mr. Imperium at 11:30.
Friday afternoon brought season openers to Mets and Yankees fans, featured here with some Cootner doodles amid the prime-time offerings.
Again, this nutty Viskupic drawing for Colossus: The Forbin Project can be found elsewhere on this blog, so to change things up here's the whole late night Friday sched with it.
I don't remember if I've printed this Holiday Spa ad before--and if I did, who cares? I always try to feature any ad for a business in Plainview, such as this one...
...and this one for a lawn care service, which even goes so far as to split my hometown into North Plainview and South Plainview! I've never heard of this before--in which part did my house reside? Was I a Northerner or a Southerner? Dammit, an opportunity to meaninglessly despise and taunt a whole segment of mostly similar people based on random geography--wasted! Well, whichever I am, you other-half people SUCK!
The following week's issue presented a sa-weet Viskupic cover depicting Kung Fu.
Don't you love it when an actor is described as having a "mystique" even once it's revealed he only reads car and girlie magazines?
I personally think the thing that's needed most in this goofy old world is more old guys like J. McT. of Mineola, who tend to ramble on and pontificate before asking about MacLean Stevenson. And you already knew that the margarine commercial Mother Nature was played by Dena Dietrich, right? Of course.
As a fan of Gilbert Gottfried's podcast, I had to throw in this John Cashman review of Man of a Thousand Faces. (I'm sure Gilbert would have also watched the doc about Leni Riefenstahl and the Bowery Boys whooping it up in Bagdad, too.)
"VD" stands for "Viskupic Drawing" on this particular Monday night, and in the wee hours you would choose, strangely, between Rod Serling at LAX or a plane crash on Twilight Zone.
Viskupic also gives us a weaponized Lady Liberty for this America close-up.
Stuart Whitman runs for his life on Friday, and there's also a werewolf, Ghidrah and Lou Gehrig's Disease to worry about.
On to the Ides of April, and Room 222's Lloyd Haynes and Michael Constantine.
Haynes was a former Marine who also appeared on Batman and was almost a regular on Star Trek, but he was replaced by Nichelle Nichols.
Get the scuttlebutt on Carroll O'Connor, the noise on Lance Loud, and meet Marlo Thomas' littlest fan in this week's TV Line.
I don't know about you, but when I think springtime and musical-variety specials, I think Henry Fonda. Throw in a little Lee Trevino and Johnny Bench and now you've got a show!
Viskupic makes James Paul McCartney a beetle with wings for this special close-up, with other interesting shows peppering the late Monday schedule.
More Viskupic trippiness illustrating the Shenyang Acrobatic Troupe at the Kennedy Center, and more Cashman reviews to enjoy.
On A Touch of Grace, Herbert asked Grace to marry him, she accepted, and since this was the last-ever airing, we'll assume they lived happily ever after.
The next week's cover had Cliff Robertson as a pensive Man Without a Country.
 In the accompanying story, it's mentioned that his film "I Shot Down Red Baron, I Hope" was purchased in Romania. Apparently, they've held on to it.
At last, thanks to this week's TV Line, you can all stop asking me for the deets on Miss Jean of Hodgepodge Lodge!  (And it's Mrs. Elmer George Worthley to you!)
 Viskupic gives us a beaut to go with the televised Easter Sunday proceedings...
...plus more that night, including Raymond Burr's remarkable make-up transformation into Billy West playing Uncle Fester.
 Another Viskupic for Wednesday. I'm not sure who that's supposed to be--I looked up Wilfred Thesiger and that ain't him.
Here's a close-up for that night's The Going Up of Eddie's Father, or something.
 Here's Thursday night, with an interesting-sounding news special and, at one a.m. a Lee Majors movie I have on DVD but have not watched.
Cartoonist Sudduth attempts a Viskupic-style blend here but it's a pale imitation.
Frankly, the Visk art for this airing of Oliver Twist is nothing special either, so I've included the Saturday evening sched with it.
 Now here's the late night programming, if only to drop in the customary Eastern Daylight Savings Time reminder.
We'll close out April with a striking Newman scribble depicting the American Eagle facing off with the Russian Bear. No offense but my money's on Boris. (Yeah yeah, I know what a metaphor is! But come on, that bird doesn't stand a chance!)
It has something to do with a rematch of sorts between the Russian Olympic team and an American squad of college players led by Bill Walton. I'm not sure how that's a rematch, especially since I keep nodding off while reading the article. (Not much of an athletic supporter, this one.)
Long Islanders crush on David Cassidy, John Davidson and Nancy Fox, and M*A*S*H has got yer lacerated iliac right here, pal...
Some Sunday night listings for you, with a look at the WLIW (Garden City's channel 21--with studios in Plainview, woot-woot!) "Auction 21," and its spate of phone-manning celebs.
Late Tuesday brings another less-than-inspired Viskupic feature, but I include it for a nutty kind of completion (plus it coincides with a showing of Gargoyles so what the hell).
GV works OT this week, here offering a more vibrant pic for Wednesday's All-Star Swing Festival coming from New York's Philharmonic Hall.
Sudduth scratches out minimalist portraiture for Thursday's Silent Festival.
Finally, it seems fitting to end this month with a Saturday night chock full o' withering Cashman reviews.
Look out for May, hopefully coming 'fore July!