April Foolishness...

...but all year round, heretofore and forevermore, or as long as there are people. That's right, I’ve chosen today, April Fool's Day—and the day after Easter, to boot!—to rant about my disdain for religion. So if you're just looking for nostalgia about the Tee-Vee, click on almost any other blog entry. But if you feel you’d like to proceed, here’s my half-assed disclaimer: you religious types won't dig this at all. I'm not looking to offend, just like you're not looking to be educated. And vice-versa. I’m just “speaking my truth,” as the fragile children say.

I’ve heard that if a woman has only ever been with other women, like never even kissed or dated a man, she is called a “gold star lesbian.” If that’s so, then I must be a gold star atheist. Never believed, ever. In my recollection, the closest I came to an expression of belief was the time when, at a very young age, I asked my mother if God was called "God" because he "gods" over us. Of course, I meant "guards." I doubt mom then explained the atrocities of a Long Island accent to me (I had to figure that out for myself), but the short answer was no. I accepted that, and then, for whatever reason, gave little practical thought to the existence of a divine entity for the next decade or so. It just didn't concern me. I was a slightly neurotic child (though I think I covered well) and frankly I had enough to worry about. Sorry, Guard.

I wish I could say I’ve never prayed, but when I started Catholic school--first grade, 1975, in Plainview, on the aforementioned Isle of Length--I figured I should get with the program. My dad was an usher at our church, after all, and, as thanks for his donated money, my family’s name was engraved on a gold plate beneath one of the Stations of the Cross along the walls. (To enlighten the heathens, the Stations are images depicting various points in the crucifixion procession of Jesus Christ. Take it from me, it’s a hoot. Eye-roll-emoji.)

My family sponsored something else too, but I can't think of what it was--a stained glass window, or a pew, or a cuff link for the archbishop of the diocese, or a hush payment to the single mother of an altar boy. (Just kidding--there's no way we could have afforded the last two.)

As I had seen it done on TV shows, in cartoons and comic strips, I knelt beside my bed and planted my elbows on the mattress, palms together. I closed my eyes and thanked God for my parents and brothers and sisters, threw some friends in there, and I asked that He look after them. I made sure to mention each family member by name, really more to lengthen the prayer (like padding out the word count of a dreaded essay assignment) than out of concern that He might get confused and divinely intercede for the benefit of a different family, like the Sauers of Plainedge or something. This went on for most of a week, until the night I hit my knees and immediately thought, well duh, of course I appreciate my family and want the best for them. The whole thing just seemed silly, so I climbed into bed and decided I wasn’t going to do it anymore, and I haven’t since.

Wait, that’s not true. A dozen years or so ago, I was ambushed by a Christian fella who was doing some labor for my business, and I found myself trapped into a prayer circle with his legal slaves--three teen-aged sons, mute, dull-eyed and identically dressed. He insisted we petition the Lord on behalf of a local lout who was in the hospital, a guy I didn’t know but had only heard terrible things about. So, since I was being forced to pray, I silently entreated Jehovah for his death to be prolonged and excruciating, with unspeakable afflictions upon every organ and orifice. I guess I was outnumbered: he soon got better (as had always been expected anyway).

I have nothing against being pensive. Introspection is useful, especially when done with empathy and it's not all about you. But praying is thinking, and thinking--however earnest and impassioned and really really well-intentioned--does not leave your skull, and definitely not as a cosmic party-line to Jesus.

My family went to church every Sunday morning, and I went with my classmates weekly as well. The church was directly beside my grade school, so Friday mornings meant sleepy-kid processions there and back. My forced prayers in this setting were even less sincere, as were my confessions.

Every so often, we students were corralled and told to spend a few minutes tallying our sins of the last few months. This was preparation for an impending stint in the confessional, which meant being trapped in what is apparently called a "Reconciliation Room" with one of our parish's priests. (Maybe it’s a new term, I never heard it back then.) It was a break from classes, and yet the respite from the daily routine inspired no joy, only anxiety.

I'd sit in the pew, awaiting my turn, trying to decide if six instances of disrespecting my parents was enough to cop to. It was a tight-wire walk: too few may seem unrealistic; too many might get juvie called on my ass. Same went for petty thievery, cursing, and impure thoughts. Go a little heavy, and the rectory and faculty room would surely be abuzz with gossip about how the Saur kid is a pottymouth klepto looking to rub his raging, sparsely-pubed weiner area against any slick surface.

The confessional was a dark, imposingly small space, smelling of sweat and incense, not to mention a combination of the priest's cologne and breath (that is, once the dividing wall's screen--similar to a speakeasy's grill--was drawn back, sliding open with a clunk, like a tiny pocket door). The priest sat in his adjoining space, also unlighted, sinner and confessor practically face-to-face but for that thin wooden wall. He would sometimes lean his head forward, which was not a bit comforting, instead a distressing intimacy, really (but which, as unwelcome cleric familiarity goes, is about as good as you're gonna get).

When it was my turn to enter--demonstrated by a small light above the jamb flicking off, signalling that it was unoccupied--I'd go in and kneel down. (I’m told the act of kneeling is what activates the light.) Once that little door was slid back, I'd say the standard intro, whatever it’s called, which went something like: "Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been [made-up number] months since my last confession," and then I'd nervously rattle off the carefully invented transgressions. The priest would listen (presumably, although we kids would share stories of sometimes hearing light snoring amid the long pauses), then assign a penance, usually a certain number of prayers (e.g., ten Hail Marys, ten Our Fathers, and the Act of Contrition in pig Latin while standing on your head).

As the fun drew to a close, I'd ask him, mentally, if he knew how priests are like Christmas trees (the balls are just decoration), but in reality I'd just say thank you and exit the confessional. Not only would I neglect to tack on another Hail Mary for my unspoken, blasphemous joke, I'd immediately forget the penance, without giving another thought to atonement until my next obligatory appointment.

Another act of disregard for my non-secular studies was my refusal to participate in the Mass. Of course, certain kids performed regular duties as altar boys, esoteric stuff like ringing bells for some woo-woo reason, carrying sacred stash boxes filled with myrrh or something, maybe wiping drool from the flaccid, palsied lip of an elderly priest. But the rest of us pupils, boys and girls alike, were expected to carry out other tasks, such as reading a homily while standing at a lectern on the altar, or solemnly carrying sacramental oils and shit up the aisle. 

As with most cults, participation was stringently encouraged, which is to say mandatory. In my sixth (maybe seventh) grade classroom, the names of every student were written on one of the blackboards, unobtrusively off to the side, just beyond the homework assignments. After a kid had been selected and done their ritualistic thing, their name would be erased. I was a master of unprepossession, almost never called upon in class due to my nearly supernatural ability to disappear in plain sight. In my mind, I wasn't there anyway. But I knew that skill wouldn’t help me here.

One day, for a Social Studies chapter that involved Chinese culture, the teacher decided a great way to delve into the topic would be for everyone to kick in some money so Chinese food could be ordered for lunch. I was still too much the fussy eater, and it would be years before I discovered that I loved Chinese food (and even longer before discovering that American Chinese food is exactly that, bearing little resemblance to the real thing eaten by a billion people on the opposite side of the globe every day, thus making this dubious lesson an even greater farce than our usual teachings). My folks, already paying through the nose for my parochial education, coughed up a few more bucks and I unhappily placed my order for spare ribs, the only dish I would touch when my family occasionally enjoyed some Golden Dragon take-out. (Maybe a shrimp roll. I liked those too.)

The tables and chairs in the school’s upper-wing library had been reconfigured for a miniature banquet, and the class filed in and noisily convened. I nibbled at my sticky, unnaturally bright red ribs, then asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. There was no actual learning happening anyway, so permission was readily given.

I casually meandered down the dimly lit, empty corridor, quiet but for the murmuring of teachers in other classrooms. The lavatories, as they were labeled, were at the far end, but I stopped at my classroom along the way. I approached the door, gave a furtive glance in each direction to ensure privacy, slipped into the deserted room like a draft, grabbed an eraser and swipe my name was gone. I drifted out again and headed to the bathroom, took a leisurely squirt, a cursory hand-wash and then back to the library. If my infraction was noticed, I was never confronted with it.

How was I able to resist the indoctrination, to reject the dogma I was being steadily force-fed? I have no idea. The reluctance to conform? Sheer apathy? The DEVIL? All I know is that, as I got older, my non-belief became worrisome to me. Did I not believe as an adult simply because I didn't believe as a child? But a child has no perspective, thus my non-adherence to the belief system in which I was raised should have no real effect on my adult convictions. After spending years looking into other religions and alternative doctrines, I decided my childhood heresy was simply a fortuitous fluke, and a weight was lifted. I now understood that there were two things that worked in mysterious ways: the human brain, imperfect and unfathomably miraculous; and God. The former clearly created the latter.

I call myself an atheist these days, but I don't say I don't believe in God. I know there's no God, just as a believer knows there is. Except I have simple, pragmatic reality on my side. There is no intentional creator who made us, who takes an interest in our everyday doings. That kind of nonsense springs predictably from the human mind, and embarrassingly so. The absurd dichotomy of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing is our truest birthright. The Lord sacrificed his only son for me! But I'm born with original sin! But I can reach the Lord and influence Him--and all reality--by thinking really really hard! And hey, if you think about the same thing really really hard, we have an even better chance to change reality! But don't forget to atone, sinner, and you must tithe! We are made in His image, and our bodies are temples, and did you see my scripture tattoo? Between the AR-15 and the Harley?

God, Jesus, the Devil, Mohammed, Heaven, Hell, churches, temples, mosques, the Bible/Torah/Koran, prayer, angels, demons, karma, reincarnation, the supernatural, superstition, and everything that goes with it: utter foolishness and delusion, a colossal waste of time, and the greatest opportunity known for wielding power over and taking advantage of the true believers, especially when they have little else but an invisible friend in their corner.

I do have faith, and I am a true believer: I know that the beauty, love, and strength we all seek are right here, in this world, in others, in ourselves. I try not to let my human-ness interfere with my humanity. To quote Shakespeare, or Yau-Man from season 14 of Survivor (I can never remember which), “Love many; trust few; harm none.” These ideas and the Golden Rule will get you further than blind reliance on the words of men placed in the mouth of a god.

I recently saw a church's bulletin board (nowadays used so often as a repository for punny quips, or adages admonishing the unrepentant) which read, in a downward acronym, PUSH, standing for "Pray Until Something Happens." A neater expression of confirmation bias would be tough to conjure. I guess there wasn't room for "And then interpret whatever does happen, good, bad, or indifferent, as a sign affirming your belief and faith and the Lord's approval."

“Well, everything happens for a reason.”

No. I’m more of a nothing-happens-for-a-reason kinda guy. I mean, except, like, photosynthesis. Photosynthesis happens for a reason. A rash happens for a reason, and it has nothing to do with divine punishment for how it was acquired, however grotesque and unwholesome the act was (according to someone’s—that is, someone else’s—morals).

When the swerving Suburban finally crosses the median and hits the minibus head on, killing the nine vacation bible school students strapped into it, that happened for these reasons, and these reasons alone: bad judgment, bad timing, the effect of alcohol on the human system, and velocity. Neither driver’s rash played a role (unless it further impeded the Suburban operator’s driving abilities).

This may be an edifying tool for self-discovery: the next time you finger through your news aggregator of choice, read every horrific headline out loud and then say, “Well, everything happens for a reason.” The longer it takes you to realize how idiotic that sounds, the bigger the idiot you are.

As for an afterlife, sure, I’d love to see my parents again someday. That’s why the concept of Heaven exists. The thought of never seeing loved ones again is brutal. And the thought of our own unique consciousness being utterly snuffed from existence upon death is nearly incomprehensible to most. But it’s not something that can be wished into reality. Better to find a guardian angel with a pulse, if you’re that lucky.

I once heard, on a long road trip with entertainment provided by the transience of local AM radio, a discussion among three men about the nature of Heaven. The central theme was "Is There Coffee in Heaven?" They didn't exactly argue, but interesting points were made, pro and con, with the strongest being that coffee is merely a stimulant. People that go on about their love of and need for coffee, one speaker reasoned, what they're really talking about is their body's reaction to caffeine, but in Heaven you have shed your corporeal self, thus you’d have no need of coffee, however desirous of it you had been in your earthly state. This makes perfect sense... so of course they all puzzlingly agreed to the conclusion that yes, there is coffee in Heaven. *Sigh*, as that mopey asshole Charlie Brown would say.

Pondering the ridiculous notion of Heaven prompted me to write this next bit. So add "inspiring poetry" to the list of religious detriments.



[Instructions For Reading, Whether Aloud or to Self: These Are Not Questions and Mustn’t Be Posited as Such]

All the minds that have ever existed, ever thought.
Never mind human minds, never mind animal minds, or even mammals'. Let’s just say birds.

Birds’ minds. All the bird minds that have ever existed, ever thought.
The actions of birds, like ours, are owed to more than just instinct. Decisions are made. Evaluations.
Consequences are considered—sometimes too lightly—and many times misjudged.

All the birds’ minds around us now. Near,
or in the vicinity. How many are sleeping. How many are content. How many are worried.
Concerned. About a noise, near, in the vicinity, in the dark.

Imagine, all those minds, minds that had once existed, still existing.
In, let’s say, Heaven.
What are the birds thinking in Bird Heaven. Is there a Bird Heaven. Or are they intermingled with humans in Human Heaven, just as they are on Human Earth.

Some might argue that a Heaven with birds is not a Heaven, because birds are dirty, startlesome beasts that typically make an ungodly racket.
(Clearly, by “some” I mean “I.”)

Will there be no birds in my heaven, or will I become accepting. Is it a fault of mine that birds sometimes annoy me. Will that change about me. Will Heaven “improve” me.

What else will change. How many things will need to change about me in Heaven before I’m no longer me in Heaven.

Is everyone different from themselves in Heaven. Do birds ever need to change in order to enter Heaven:
Impatient birds. Jealous birds. Judgmental birds. Too-often-dissatisfied birds. Murderous birds. Dirty, ungodly birds.

If it’s accurate to say that Heaven perfects its denizens, then that would make an infinite population of people that never existed.

Or that was the point of Heaven all along.

Some might argue that,
the presence of birds notwithstanding,
I needn’t concern myself with the particulars of any Heaven.

One Last Thing!
I have a few tattered notebooks from my St. Pius X days, plus a plain brown Mead 3-ring binder (I wasn't cool enough to have the colorful Trapper Keeper), and they are all noticeably lacking in schoolwork. I'd say they're about 95% filled with homemade comics and random drawings, with some other writings and notes (after my family got cable, for example, I would employ my notebooks to diligently record the premiere dates of HBO movies and specials, as reported in the monthly "Sneak Preview" show, hosted by Stiller and Meara).

One notebook has a section with the first page labelled "Religion." The Act of Contrition is then scrawled out in my appalling cursive (a practice, like Catholicism, wisely abandoned after grade school), as well as the "3 gifts" I supposedly received from the Holy Spirit upon my baptism. The verso bears a list of "The Sacrements" [sic].

A-a-a-a-and that's about it for my note-taking. The remainder of the section contains comics spoofing superheroes, The Exorcist, and gangster movies (very bloody, that one), or depicting the fantastical adventures my friends and I conjured when playing a Dungeons & Dragons-type game; doodles of monsters, sharks, aliens and other hideous faces; and libelous, very un-P.C. epithets about classmates (with unflattering illustrations, of course). I'll spare you those, but in closing, here's a scribbly doodle of mine, probably influenced by Missile Command, undoubtedly rendered during a school day when I wished to be anywhere but...

 

Peace in Our Time. (Meaning the Late 70's.)

There may not be much peace in our time overall, but experts seem to agree that the treaty between Egypt and Israel, signed forty-five years ago this week, has held, unabrogated. There have been small challenges along the way, but it is considered a success, and a feather in the cap of Jimmy Carter and his largely maligned, single-term presidency. Of course, the war in Gaza may complicate matters, but your humble Non-Parader is not the man to ruminate on such a intricate topic. No, I am here with the nostalgic take, and unsurprisingly, it takes the form of an old newspaper.

My collection of old papers includes the Tuesday, March 27th, 1979 Newsday, Nassau Edition. Newsday was (and is) the key newspaper for residents of Long Island, delivered in the afternoon rather than the morning (their slogan was “What Are You, in a Hurry?”), with Nassau being the county where I grew up. That paper contained extensive coverage of the previous day's event at Camp David, where Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin signed the accord. There is a 24-page supplement included, which appears to be titled "Shalom. Salaam. Forever."

First I'd like to explain that these pics were taken with my phone, so margins and proportions are skewed way more than if I had flat-scanned them. It's just so much easier than trying to place a newspaper on the glass, particularly the full-page ads. I've tried to ensure legibility (and don't forget to click on pics to enlarge them).

I’d also like to explain that I own the rights to nothing you are about to see. I haven’t perused the Blogger terms lately, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t even own my own words.

Here are the covers of the newspaper and the supplement, and then the many ads from that special section. Maybe I'm just getting more sentimental in my encroaching dotage (I had been ten for less than a week when this event took place), but I find these messages of congratulations and hope to be moving--even if they were just quick solicitations for advertising purposes. I mean, should I really get all choked up over a bank ad, no matter how noble the purported intention? In any case, some of them are really lovely, so enjoy and then I'll get to other stuff from the main section.

The first ad is from Suburbia Federal Savings.

"The Peace Medal." Odd that David Cross gets a mention.

Raisins in Westbury, Jericho Cider Mill.

Island Recreational.

Barnett, Roslyn Savings Bank, Rapco, Montauk Rug & Carpet.

Joe Franklin's favorite, Martin Paint.

Merchants of Cedarhurst.

Hempstead Bank.

Harrison Radio, Northstage Theatre, Frame King, Porch & Patio, Party Factory Outlet.

Care-Free Swimming Pools, Genovese, Modell's.

North Shore merchants.

Merchants of Westbury and Carle Place.

Sea Jack in Deer Park, Michele's of Huntington, Saber in Bellmore.

P/J's Dance Charisma of Bethpage, Yale/V.I.P. bedding, Adwar Video.

Another medal, Stella Ristorante of Floral Park, Ben's Kosher Delicatessen of Baldwin, United Ceramic Tile of East Northport, Nelson Varon Organ Studios. (See Nelson himself, and read about his song/poem reprinted in the ad, from just a few years ago—right here!)

Kosher Meat Farm in Plainview and Wantagh, Green Acres Shopping Center in Valley Stream.

UniTEL Communications of Hauppauge, Cohen's Fashion Optical.

Hicksville merchants.

Plainview Kosher Meats, Super Stuff Records in Levittown, Aliyah Center of Forest Hills, American Custom Mirrors of Bohemia.

Jast of Jericho, ABC Swimming Pools of Bay Shore.

Last, a ton of small, business-name-only ads.

Onto the main section, with ads for stores and movies, plus the TV and radio listings.

Dial-a-Joke, a service (?) of New York Telephone, was changing the exchange of its phone number. To commemorate this, on April Fool's Day, they gave comedians their own hour-long slot to showcase their yocks (usually a couple minutes, not the full 60). Participating were: George Jessel, Bob Shaw, Phyllis Diller, Jimmy Walker, Soupy Sales, George Gobel, Jack Carter, Pat Carroll, Jan Murray, Marilyn Sokol, David Letterman, Rocky Graziano (?), Don Imus, Joey Adams, Gary Owens, Marty Brill, Kermit Schaefer’s Bloopers, Lenny & Squiggy (Michael McKean and David L. Lander), Gene Baylos (not "Balos" as it appears here), Sandy Baron, Jackie Vernon, Joey Villa, Will Jordan, and Jim Backus.
I love the idea that somewhere in the metro area, some nostalgic Soupy fan set their alarm for 4am, hoping to get a Pookie fix.

Here are the TV listings--and hey, if you dig Long Island TV schedules from back-in-the-day, check out THIS!

The Kidsday section includes a feat of strength by my hometown's Lisa Brown.

An article about a book detailing a man's incarceration in a Soviet gulag features this haunting Gary Viskupic illustration.

My one-time penpal, the late Bill Kaufman, caught Lena Horne and Marvin Hamlisch at the Westbury Music Fair. He offers his opinion, right after I offer the ad.

Another Plainview resident, Lillian Dubsky, who "escaped from Hitler's Austria under a load of hay," created a short documentary, "We Must Never Forget."

SIDETRACK! Let's make a quick flash-forward here, to May 29th, when WLIW aired "We Must Never Forget." This was the only showing I could track down, and I just happened to have the Newsday TV Book for that week. (10pm, channel 21.)

And finally, Marvin Kitman lambasts the aforementioned Soupy Sales as "inane" (and his new show as painfully unfunny), and also rips the "programming geniuses" at WPIX for... cancelling him?

That's it for now! Leave a comment, unless you're inclined to write something anti-Semitic (in which case go piss up a rope instead). Until next time, Mazel Tov!

What's the Word? Tomorrow! (And, of Course, Yesterday...)

I've written on this blog before about the intersecting lines of furtive lives and peculiar events, connections that sometimes seem to construct a bizarre whole, conducting an undercurrent of depravity and madness which thrums around our periphery whether we notice it or not.

Specifically, I touched on the mind-boggling case of debauched neo-Vaudeville producer Roy Radin, a hedonist deviant who allegedly had ties to "Son of Sam" spree shooter David Berkowitz, brainwashed Church of Satan acolytes, and a purported snuff film underground. Arising from and woven through that garden of evil, a thousand choking tendrils can be followed in as many directions, ensnaring a deviant coterie within Hollywood, established stars and innumerable aspirants alike. I barely scratched the surface, and still my fingernails were caked with an unsavory, sticky grime that's tough to scrub away.

Anyway, this post isn't that, exactly.

I was flipping through an old TV Guide (as I tend to do) and found something intriguing. If you've perused this blog, you may know that I collect the editions for the New York Metropolitan market, the 70's and 80's issues of my youth in particular. Anything local is of interest to me, especially since they are often documentation of ephemeral moments that barely exist anymore, so lost are they to the transient nature of our culture. Sometimes, even the vast expanse of cyberspace can't seem to find room.

My curiosity came from a name, jumping out at me from a listing for a show that aired in the pre-prime time slot on a Saturday evening, February 28th, 1976. Here's that listing, along with the ad run by WCBS, the New York City-based flagship affiliate for the former Columbia Broadcasting System (the full name, I've just learned, was legally dropped for the acronym several years earlier).

(click pic to enlarge)

What's the Word? was a half-hour kiddie program with musical numbers centered around the episode's topic of "Tomorrow." (If other episodes were produced using different subjects, I couldn't find them--in fact, I could barely find anything about this one.) "Music, dance, puppets, science, children's predictions and adults' memories combine to form images of the future." Adults' memories of.. the future? (I suppose they mean our old future, like Captain Video and that sort of thing.)

The name that sprung off the page was Nick De Noia, although I wasn't quite sure why at first. Turns out I had written about him before, a mention in my Facebook group of a kid's series he created and hosted called Unicorn Tales, not long after this show. (The eight episodes were released on VHS in the mid-eighties, and turn up on eBay occasionally.) De Noia's IMDb page offers credits as a director, producer, writer, editor, actor, and choreographer. There are a few photos there, all stills from his sole acting credit. To me, he looks a bit like a cross between George Maharis and Mario Cantone, which means he might have been the perfect guest for Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.



De Noia is described online as having lived a closeted gay life, but that film he appeared in was 1971's Some of My Best Friends Are..., a film marketed with the tagline "This is the place that separates the men from the 'boys.'" This is an allusion to The Boys in the Band, the previous year's hit melodrama featuring a groundbreaking ensemble of homosexual characters. SoMBFA... sounds like it's meant to be an alternative lifestyle Weltanschauung, centering around the Christmas Eve revels of regulars in a Greenwich Village bar. There are familiar names among the performers (Rue McClanahan, Fannie Flagg, Gil Gerard, Gary Sandy) and others known but somewhat more obscure (Candy Darling, Dick O'Neill, Lou "The Creep" Steele, Sylvia Syms). Much like the majority of IMDb user opinions, Vincent Canby's review in the New York Times was not kind.

Unfortunately, the Emmy-winning Unicorn Tales and De Noia's other projects wouldn't prove to be his ultimate claim to fame. In the 1980's, he became entangled in the world of Chippendale's--not the Society for fine furniture craftsmanship, you understand, but rather the erotic male striptease enterprise, famously characterized by the bow tie/collar and cuffs worn by the dancers. It's a story that's been recounted many times recently by the usual true-crime suspects, but in case you're unfamiliar, I'll knock over the pertinent bits.

Through a contentious deal scratched onto a cocktail napkin, De Noia obtained the rights to a touring company for the troupe. When the business' founder, Steve Banerjee, realized what a profitable venture he had signed away, he grew increasingly resentful of De Noia. His paranoid jealousy culminated in the hiring of a junkie as hit man, who shot De Noia in the face in his Manhattan office on April 7th, 1987. De Noia was 45. The murder was traced back to Banerjee, who was arrested, tried, and convicted, eventually killing himself in jail as he awaited sentencing.

Around the time of What's the Word?, De Noia was briefly married to Jennifer O'Neill, the actress who was herself embroiled regularly in sordid incidents, including suicide attempts, accidents, electroshock therapy, her youngest daughter's sexual abuse at the hands of her fifth husband, and her Cover Up co-star Jon-Erik Hexum's death from mishandling a prop gun--which occurred several years after she herself had accidentally shot herself in the stomach with the abusive husband's revolver. She became a born-again Christian, owing in part to guilt over an abortion early in life. She was reportedly "upset" when she received word of De Noia's killing.

Digging for more on the show, I found that What's the Word? was nominated for a New York Emmy in the Outstanding Children's Program category. Unlike Unicorn Tales, which won multiple Emmys, it was skunked by Seeing Eye Shepherd. That program can be found in the Peabody Awards Collection (so I guess it scored one of those, as did WtW?), where it is described as the story of three children who help foster a pup being trained as a service dog. By the way, that show is denoted on the NY Emmys website as airing on WABC on October 17th, 1975, but in fact it aired on the 27th. (Aren't you glad to have me to straighten out these critical matters?)

The '75-'76 NY Emmys nominations lists De Noia's fellow Producer as Jane Norman, who was more familiar to viewers as the star of Pixanne. Pixanne was a Peter Pan-like character whose kiddie show was broadcast out of Philadelphia throughout the 60's (and later syndicated nationally), re-running well into the 70's. As well as hosting, Norman also created and produced the show. She later went on to record albums of standards and Christmas songs. She died in 2017, twelve years after being inducted into the Broadcast Pioneers of Philadelphia's Hall of Fame.

I may as well mention that the other names in the TV Guide listing for WtW? are David Eric (originally David Eric Shapiro, who died of a brain tumor in 1999), and David Montague (about whom I have found precisely squat).

Finally, when I searched for the song titles listed ("The Gamma Ray Rag," "Count Us in on the Miracles," and "The World Keeps Rolling On"), I found a Facebook post with the first two attributed to none other than Bruce Sussman, lyricist and long-time collaborator of Barry Manilow's, with whom he wrote hundreds of songs and commercial jingles (although I can't seem to find any specific examples of their advertising credits). This led me to discover that WtW?'s Executive Producer, Linda Allen, was well known to Manilow fans as his long-time "live-in girlfriend," and we'll leave that right there. I'd love to hear Sussman's recollections about working on this show, if he still has any.

Okay, so maybe this wasn't a diabolical web of Roy Radin proportions, but still, a neat little rabbit hole to explore...

By the way, in addition to Seeing Eye Shepherd, the Peabody Awards Collection also maintains a copy of What's the Word? Tomorrow (as it is titled there) on U-matic ¾-inch videotape, and viewing can be requested. A watermarked screener download is twenty bucks, although I'm not sure how all that works, as there's also mention of a digitizing fee of $250. That's a little steep for your Non-Parader, so maybe, if an unexpected influx of disposable income comes my way, I'll go ahead and check it out... tomorrow.

Celebrity Commercial Listings! (Visiting from My Other Blog)

Today I'm literally taking a page from my "oldTVads" blog, specifically the one where I list well-known personalities that can be found in my collection of vintage television commercials. It doesn't seem to be turning up in search results, so I thought plopping it here might help. Plus, I'm undertaking the massive task of reversing the name order (currently alphabetically by last) so that they can be found more readily. That's a work in progress...

Here's a partial listing of the celebrities (in many cases you can take that appellation with a grain of salt) appearing in my commercial collection. So far, I've only listed through compilation fifty-three (out of 77), so keep checking back or contact me if you're looking for a particular ad or person. 

“VO” means they're only heard as a voiceover (or singer). A question mark after a product means I'm not 100% certain it's them in the ad but it kinda sorta maybe looks like them. Other abbreviations are hopefully self-explanatory.

So yeah, some of these folks are pretty damn obscure, but somebody loves them, right? For the particularly esoteric, I'll explain their noteworthiness in parentheses, but mostly I just think to myself, "Come on, everyone remembers Karen Austin from 'The Quest' in the early 80's, right?" For a lot of them, I want to add "Well, you'd know 'em if you saw 'em..." so maybe I’ll start throwing in pics if I can find them. Or not.

Ignore the alphanumerics after each product--that's just so I can find the ad quickly if someone wants it. Video and audio quality run the gamut, but if something's really bad, I try to avoid it. If you spot a factual error, please let me know...

Bryan Adams – MTV t31 / t53

Don Adams -- Aurora Derby c14 / Aurora Skittle games, mult ads, c27

Mason Adams – Nuprin t29

"Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" -- Aunt Jemima c23 / Coca Cola c23 / Hotpoint c23 / Aunt Jemima, 2 ads, c24 / Kodak, 2 ads, c24 / Hotpoint c24 /

Danny Aiello -- Clean Up New York PSA VO c6

Joe Alaskey -- Hill's toys c4

Anna Maria Alberghetti -- Maruchan c 4

Eddie Albert -- National Wildlife Federation PSA c16 / Security 65 Life Insurance t47

Jason Alexander – Levi’s 501 t16 / The Personals musical t20 / McDonald’s McDLT t50 / Lipton Onion Soup Mix t61 / Good & Plenty, short t66

Muhammad Ali -- D-Con c6 / D-Con, mult ads c14 / Security-65 (w/ his parents) t61 / TVN Enterprises c32 [Ali at his nuttiest. Hilarious.]

Tatyana Ali -- Pound Puppies c12 / Crest t5 / Lionel Kiddie City t18 / Children’s Tylenol t29

Debbie Allen -- Hardee's c23 / Bell Phones c61 / US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7 / Coke? T41

George Allen [Hall of Fame NFL coach] – Veteran’s Physical Fitness PSA t49

Mark Allen ["Iron Man" athlete] -- Pro-Grain Cereal c16

Marty Allen – New York State Chiropractic Association PSA t33

Mel Allen [sportscaster] -- Bat-Away VO c2 / Rolaids (Relief Man Award) c6

Nancy Allen -- JC Penney c11

Peter Allen -- WPIX-FM c2 / same c6 / WCBS Christmas wishes c7 / "Night of 100 Stars II" t12

Steve Allen -- TV Guide '86 c17 / New Eyes for the Needy PSA t24 / Salvation Army PSA t28

Tim Allen – Olds Connection Oldsmobile t26 / Kmart, xmas t49

June Allyson – Depend t23

Herb Alpert -- VH-1 t14

Carol Alt -- Diet Sprite c20 / Cover Girl t2 / Cover Girl t5 / CG t16 / Noxzema t17 / Sassoon Mousse t21 / Diet Coke t40

Jeff Altman -- Right Guard c59 / Arby's t5 / Kentucky Fried Chicken ’84 t12 / Valvoline t54 / Avis t60 (I recently helped reconnect Jeff with copies of these--super nice guy!)

Lyle Alzado [NFL player] – TV Guide t14 / Sports Illustrated t14 / Burger King Whopper t19 / Amoco Gas t19 / BK t53

Tori Amos – Kellogg’s Just Right t50

Gillian Anderson – Breath Savers (really not sure on this one.) t19

Harry Anderson -- GE c1 / same t38 / Dannon yogurt t64 / same t67

Melissa Sue Anderson -- Snoopy Toothbrush c26 / ST, slightly diff. c57

George Lee Andrew – Kismet, An Evening Dinner Theatre t13

Andy Griffith Show -- Gainesburger c21 / Maxwell House c21

Adam Ant -- MTV c14

Earl Anthony [pro bowler] -- Ebonite Bowling Balls c7 [He's seen walking amongst giant balls. Would I lie to you?]

Susan Anton – Harrah’s Marina t18 / Mudd Mask t21 / Harrah’s t22 / Harrah’s t44

Rocky Aoki [restaurateur, wrestler] – Benihana Frozen Dinners t43

Beverly Archer -- Honey Smacks c18 / same c30

Rocky Arizzi [Muscular Dystrophy Association Poster Child] -- McDonald's c3

Neil Armstrong -- Chrysler Dodge Plymouth c12

William Armstrong [Colorado Senator] – Power for Living t21

Lucie Arnaz -- A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Peter Aschkenasy – Luchow’s t21

Arthur Ashe [tennis player] -- Montclair Water c9 / AMF Head c21

Victor Ashe – mult For Senator ’84 t8

Ed Asner -- RIF [Reading is Fundamental] PSA c2

David Attenborough – Natural History Magazine t54

Karen Austin -- Oster Sandwich Grill c6

Tracy Austin [tennis player] -- Knudsen Yogurt c9

Average White Band -- Schlitz Malt Liquor c6

James Avery -- Hunt's Barbecue Sauce t63

Hoyt Axton – Pizza Hut t57

Leah Ayres -- Burger King c5 / Darcy doll c5 / General Foods International Coffee t13 / Avis t23 / Woolite t38 / General Foods International Coffee (same) t42

Lauren Bacall -- High Point Coffee c9 / Fortunoff c14 / High Point '83 c20

Catherine Bach -- Diet Coke t29

Pearl Bailey -- White Westinghouse c2 / Duncan Hines c17 / American Lung Association Christmas Seals PSA (with Aaron) t49 / same? t63

Scott Baio -- Dr Pepper c8 / same sg11

Greg Baker [Oregon Muscular Dystrophy Association Poster Child) -- "Superskate" event sg12

Howard Baker [Tennessesee Senator] – USA Today t13

Scott Bakula -- Ronzoni c20 / same? T15 / Canada Dry t15 / Arrid t18 / Shield t26 / Arrid t40 / Folger’s Decaf t44

Lucille Ball -- Body Language game c9 / same c14

Carl Ballantine – Mobil Super Unleaded t19 / MSU t66

Baltimore Celebrities -- McDonald's "McHappy Day" 4/27/80: Wild Bill Hagy, Laura Charles, Fred Cook and Joe Ehrmann (Colts "Sack Pack"), Colts announcer Vince Bagley, Mayor William Donald Schaefer, Father Gainey? c3

Andrea Barber – Quaker Oh’s t6

John Barbour -- Michelob c21

Cyd and Trish Barnstable  -- Doublemint Gum sg12

Gene Barry – Haggar Woolens t40

Drew Barrymore -- Northern c7

Eddie Barth -- Hefty c9 / Hall's c59 / Hefty t22 / H t46

Billy Barty -- Spellbound game c25

Justine Bateman – Maxwell House t27

Rhonda Bates -- Great Moves game c25

Hinton Battle – The Tap Dance Kid t15

Frances Bavier -- see Andy Griffith Show

Meredith Baxter-Birney -- Clairol Condition t2 / Timemaker Personal Organizer '85 t4 / Preference t36 / WIC PSA t54

Don Baylor [California Angels] -- In-n-Out Burger c14

Beastie Boys -- MTV Spring Break contest '87 t2

Ned Beatty -- Will Rogers Institute c17

Doris Belack -- Wisk

Shari Belafonte-Harper – Calvin Klein Jeans t41 / MasterCard t45

Harry Belafonte -- Peace Corps (vo) t64

Vanessa Bell – McDonald’s t8

Diane Bellego – Camay t53 / C t55 / C t61

Pat Benatar -- MTV c14

Johnny Bench -- Krylon c11 [He paints--what else?--his bench.]  / Yellow Pages c11 [At his restaurant.]

Tony Bennett – WHLI 1100 am t22

Robby Benson -- Gatorade c14

Candice Bergen -- US Sprint t2

Polly Bergen -- Pepsi, mult ads, c28

Bill Bergey [Philadelphia Eagles] -- Jiffy Lube mult t62

Sandahl Bergman – Diet Rite t15

Crystal Bernard – Pepsi Free t12 / General Foods International Coffee t13 / General Foods International Coffee (same) t42

Yogi Berra [NY Yankees, NY Mets] -- Yoo Hoo c1 / WABC-AM c2 / GE c12 / New York Daily News '85 t60

Chuck Berry -- Diet Coke t58

Fred Berry -- Great Moves game c25 [You know--Rerun from "What's Happening!"]

Bibi Besch -- Monvelle c32

"Bewitched" -- Quaker Instant Oatmeal c24

“Big Chuck and Li’l John” [Charles Schodowski, John Rinaldi] – Ohio State Waterproofing t6

Susan Bigelow – Lipton t38 / Lysol t40 / Shoe-Town t49

Barbara Billingsley -- McDonald’s (as June Cleaver) t9

Peter Billingsley -- McDonald's Calendar c3 / Longacre Franks c4 / Dial Santa c5 / Lifesavers c12 / Curad c14 / Hershey's (as Messy Marvin) c16 / Kenner Darth Vader Case c29

Larry Bird [Boston Celtics] -- Chardon jeans c7 [Playing a video game at the arcade.] / Nestle Crunch t30 / Converse t66

Joey Bishop -- Bally's c10 [With the infamous Roy Radin.]

Jay Black -- Greatest Hits LP c9 [He stands there in his baby blue satin jacket, belting his hits, solo and with The Americans.]

Page Morton Black -- Chock Full o' Nuts c10 [She's hanging with Pinocchio.]

Barbara Blackburn [World’s Fastest Typist] – Apple IIc t38 / Apple t45

Harry Blackstone -- Blackstone show c6 [The last two lines of Blackstone's song is cut off for a WNEW ticket promo.] / Cigarrest t56

Nina Blackwood -- Pringles '86 t2

Mel Blanc – Kentucky Fried Chicken (as Foghorn Leghorn) t16

Susan Blanchard -- No Nonsense '78 c61 / No Nonsense sg1 / No Nonsense '80 sg4 / No Nonsense sg7

George Blanda [football player] -- NP27 foot spray c22

Bill Blass – Woolite t40

Tempest Bledsoe -- PTA [Parent-Teacher Association] PSA c17

Yasmine Bleeth -- Atari 5200 c1

Anne Bloom -- Charmin c5 / Mercury Cougar t37

Roberts Blossom – Nestle t29

Earl Boen – Hertz t23

Joel Bogart – Kaufman Carpet (with Billy Martin cut-out) t38 / KC t42

Bill Boggs -- Big Apple Minute '80 (sea port) c5 / BAM '80 (Little Italy) c8

Corinne Bohrer -- M Network video games sg12 / McDonald’s t44

Franco Bolla – Soave Bolla t35

Michael Bolton – Stanley Doors VO t13 / NY Telephone VO t16

Bobby Bonds [MLB player] – Lite t22

Frank Bonner -- Dawn c23

Brian Bonsall – Coca-Cola t9

Sorrell Booke -- United t61

Pat Boone -- Power for Living book t13 / Picture Bible t55, same t56

Victor Borge – Money Access Centers ATM’s t19 / MAC t54

Tom Bosley -- Glad c17 / Glad-Lock t4 / Glad t18 / Glad t21 / Glad t23 / Glad t29 / G t42 / Sears VO t44 / Glad t54 / Glad t61 / Isuzu (VO) t63

Lori Bowen [champion bodybuilder] – Lite ’84 t19

Roger Bowen – Pepto-Bismol t49 / Fiber One t58

David Bowie -- MTV c20

Jim Boyd – AT&T t23 / MTV t30 / AT&T t36

Terry Bradshaw [Pittsburgh Steeler] -- Shell '81 c8 / Zerex t49

Brecker Quadruplets -- Beech-Nut c22

David Brenner – Sands Atlantic City [new food court!] t34 / Sands t42 / Sands (short) t64

Jimmy Breslin -- Detroit News c59

George Brett [Kansas City Royals] -- 7 Up c5

Maia Brewton – Clorox Xmas t19 / Cookie Crisp? t66

Wilford Brimley -- Quaker Oatmeal t3 / Quaker, mult. ads t5

Christie Brinkley -- Cover Girl c12 / Prell t1 / Prell t2 / Prell t10 / CG t16 / Prell t23 / Prell (w/ mom) t24 / Cover Girl Make-up t26 / CG t34 / Mastercard t36 / CG t40 / CG Nailslicks t51

Ross Brittain [DJ] -- Z-100 Disney contest t66

Morgan Brittany -- Nair c4 / Ban c11

Marshall Brodien -- Magic Kit c9

Adrien Brody -- Hot Pockets? t2 [He started acting around this time, and it's tough to mistake that honker. Commenter on my YT channel says it's not him.]

Pierce Brosnan – Mastercard Travelers’ Cheques t21 / another (w/wife?) t24

Dr. Joyce Brothers -- Crack PSA c17 [She was against it.]

Garrett Brown – Vaseline Intensive Care t29 / WMGK 103 FM t30 / Duncan Hines t33 / Budweiser t37 / Pepto-Bismol t44 / Kitchenaid dish washer t46 / National Dairy Board (ice cream) t61

Johnny Brown -- Cool Whip c22 / Vicks c22

Ollie E. Brown -- US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7

Ted Brown [New York City DJ] -- WNEW-AM c5 / WNEW t25 / WNEW-am t66 [NYC radio guy.]

Yul Brynner – The King and I on Broadway t9

Michael Buffer – Strawbridge & Clothier t46

Ray Buktenica -- Lay's t1 / Kmart, xmas t50 / Kmart, xmas t51 [Not to be confused with Renny Temple.]

Joyce Bulifant -- Lovin' Spoonfuls c21 / Lifebuoy c57

Victor Buono -- Spellbound game? c25

Gary Burghoff -- IBM, mult. ads t4

Carol Burnett -- RIF [Reading is Fundamental] PSA c14

George Burns -- Ocean Spray c3 / World Airways, mult t42 / LA Beer t45 / Pollenex Dial Massage (with bikini girls) t52

Jack Burns -- Squibb c22 / Squibb (diff) c23

Raymond Burr – Your Independent Insurance Agent t51

George H. W. Bush -- '80 Election c1 / '80 Election c2 / For President '80 c8

Dick Butkus [Chicago Bears] -- Wendy's c12 / Hertz t34 / Sports Illustrated Xmas t49 / The Book t55

Jerry Butler [“The Iceman”] – McDonald’s t30

Red Buttons -- Century Village c10 / New Century Village t13 / CV t48 / NCV t52

Ruth Buzzi – Steidl’s Wine Coolers t35

Honorable Jane Byrne – USA Today t19

Mary Cadorette – Dannon? T41

Sid Caesar – Saran Wrap (as Professor) t44

Hector Camacho -- NYC Anti-graffiti PSA c6

Kirk Cameron -- Corn Pops c16 / Fruit Roll-Ups c30 / McDonald's sg5

Dave Campo – Broadway Chrysler t32 / BC t39 / BC mult t46 [stereotypical pitchman]

Dyan Cannon – Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America PSA t37

Kate Capshaw -- Faberge Organic shampoo c7

Captain Video -- Raisin Bran c25 / Post Tens cereal c25

Irene Cara -- NYC Anti-graffiti PSA c6 [I have her in a Ford ad too, somewhere...]

Ron Carey -- Better Cheddars c10 / Vicks c22 / Gaines Biscuits c22 / Honeycomb cereal c25

George Carlin -- Fuji VHS tapes t4

Kim Carnes – Diet Coke t40

Art Carney -- Coca-Cola t9

Tia Carrere – McDonald’s t23 / McDonald’s t38

Diahann Carroll -- USA Today t19 / Made in the USA t22 / MitUSA t44 / MitUSA t60 / TV Guide (long and short) t64

Jerry Carroll [DJ, known as Dr. Jerry, longtime Crazy Eddie pitchman] -- 1 / 2 / 3 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 9 / 16 / 17 / 19 / 68 / t20 / Yoplait t23 / CE t25 / t42 / t47 / CE mult, xmas t64 / CE mult t66 / CE mult t67

Johnny Carson -- Jell-o c24

Gary Carter [NY Mets] -- 7 Up c10 / Pringles '86 t2 / Leukemia Society poster t14 / New York Newsday (at Shea) t20 / Ivory Soap t27 / Leukemia Society signed baseball card t28 / Ivory t29

Jimmy Carter -- re-elect '80 sg3

Lynda Carter – Made in the USA t18 / Maybelline t21 / Made in the USA t44

Nell Carter – Breast Examination Center of Harlem PSA t14, t49

Gabrielle Carteris -- Facts of Life promo c16

Angela Cartwright -- Lady Schick Speed Styler c32 / see Make Room For Daddy

Dave Casper [NFL player] -- Right Guard c59

Tricia Cast – Pearle t53

Phoebe Cates -- Oxywash c9 / TV Guide t24

Mary Jo Catlett -- Prudential c12 / Sears Ahh Bra c57 / Black Flag Roach Motel t62

Dick Cavett – CARE t44

John Chadwick, Susie Chadwick [Glemby Salons] -- Clairol c23

Suzy Chaffee -- Girl Scouts c12

Wilt Chamberlain -- USA Today t13

Carol Channing -- Made in the USA t18 / I Love New York t38 / Made in the USA t44 / Oscar Mayer Select Slices (“Hello, Deli”) t50

Miles Chapin – Time Magazine t19 / Wisk t41

Ray Charles -- Maxwell House VO '81 c10 / MH c12/ MH t50 / MH t52 (Hal & Duke xmas) / MH t57

Melanie Chartoff – Post Raisin Bran t17

Cher -- Jack LaLanne t2 / Uninhibited perfume t9 / Jack LaLanne Spas t15 / Jack LaLanne Spas (w/short blonde hair) t16 / I Love New York (with cast of La Cage aux Folles) t38 / Jack LaLanne t51 / Jack Lalanne t65

Chicago White Sox -- c11 [Fans singing "Na Na Na Hey Hey." Or whatever the hell that song's called.]

Giorgio Chinaglia [soccer player, NY Cosmos] -- Safe Car Dealer c10

Anna Chlumsky – Huggies? Polaroid? both t38

Rae Dawn Chong -- Nair c4 / Soft 'n Dri c59

Virginia Christine ["Mrs. Olson," Folger's] -- (poor quality) c23 / saves a hostess c24 / c32 / charades sg11

Dennis Christopher -- Burger King c1

Eric Clapton – Michelob t6

Dick Clark -- Columbia House, mult ads sg3

Roy Clark – Hunt’s Ketchup t56

Arthur C. Clarke -- Omni magazine t64

Rosemary Clooney – Coronet t40 / Coronet t44 / Coronet (with Muppets) ’85 t57

James Coburn – Mastercard t36 / Mastercard t37

James Coco -- Diet Coke t40

Iron Eyes Cody -- Keep America Beautiful PSA c32

Enrico Colantoni -- Meals on Wheels PSA c18

Gary Coleman -- Kidney Foundation PSA c10

Margaret Colin – Lipton Trim Cup-a-Soup t38

Christopher Collet – Mueller’s Spaghetti? T52

Joan Collins – Canada Dry t10 / USA Today t13

Joe Collins (Yankees) -- Camel c22

Stephen Collins -- Folger's c32

Alan B. Colmes [radio host] -- WABC-am, mult t66

Charles Colson – Power for Living t24

Jeff Conaway -- Almond Joy c25

Dennis Conner [yachtsman] – US Coast Guard PSA t8

Kevin Connolly -- Matchbox Car Wash c1 / Jif t58

Jimmy Connors -- Converse t66

Mike Connors – Clorets t49 / Clorets t51

Pete Conrad [astronaut] -- Nikon c63

Robert Conrad -- Eveready c11

Hans Conreid -- Pepsi c28

Keith Coogan -- Charmin c5 / Sugar Smacks c9 / Pringles t33

Peter Cook – Harvey’s Bristol Cream, Xmas t35

Danny Cooksey -- Kid's Point of View t2 / Fab t17

John Corbett -- Faberge Organics t4

Bud Cort -- Chiffon margarine c22

Doug Cosbie [Dallas Cowboys] -- EEO PSA t67

Bill Cosby -- Coke c14 / Crest c22 / Crest (as Tooth Decay) c23 / Kodak t9 / Jell-O Pudding t15 / NJ Tourism VO t15 / Pudding Pops t21 / NJ Tourism t24 / Jell-O Pudding t27 / Jell-O Fruit Bars t29 / Pudding Pops t30 / Pudding Pops t33 / Jell-O Pudding ’83 t35 / Coke t38 / Jell-O Pudding (GWtW spoof) t61 / New Coke mult t65

Michael Countryman – Mr. Goodbar t39

Jim Courter -- For NJ Congress c69

Bob Cousey [Boston Celtics] -- Florida orange juice c21

Courteney Cox -- Dimension Shampoo c12 / same t38

Floyd Cramer – World Famous Love Songs LP t9

Bryan Cranston -- Tootsie Rolls? t2 [Hard to say for sure, but he did a lot of commercials at this time.] / Michelob t14 / Preparation H t19 / Shield (dressed as skunk) t20 / Good Seasons Italian t20 / PS Gitano t24 / Toyota? (As Cowardly Lion???) t37 / PS Gitano (same) t41 / Shield, same t50 / Lipton Cup a Soup t59 / Good Seasons t59 / Lipton Cup-a-Soup t59 / Kaufman Carpet t67

Ben Crenshaw [golfer] -- Canon c11

Patrick Cronin – Cabbage Patch Kids Diapers 84 tc10

Cathy Lee Crosby -- VO5 Shampoo c55 [As "Cathy Crosby."] / Made in the USA t22

Norm Crosby -- Natural Light c59 / Better Hearing Institute PSA t29

Ben Cross – American Express (short) t34 / same t39

Marcia Cross – Dentyne? T48

Pat Crowley -- House of Almonds t1

John Cullum -- Doubles, Ritz Theatre t65

Robert Culp – Nescafe t23 / Nescafe t51

Jane Curtain – TV Guide t38

Maryam D'Abo – Preference by Loreal t34

Roger Daltrey – MTV t29

Rodney Dangerfield -- Lite c14 / Lite (see Bowen) ’84 t19 / Lite t60 / Carte Blanche credit card t67

Charlie Daniels – Bantam Louis L’Amour Collection ‘85 t19

William Daniels – US DOT Buckle Up PSA VO [as KITT from Knight Rider] ‘84 t9 / Nissan Oodles of Noodles VO t20 / same t53

Tony Danza -- United Cerebral Palsy PSA c16 / Diet Rite t5 / Diet Rite t8 / TV Guide t15

Ben Davidson [Minnesota Vikings]  – Lite (“Case of the Missing Case”) ’85 t31 / Lite, short ’85 t57

Ann B. Davis -- Miracle White (as Schultzie) c1 / Shake n' Bake (slyly suggesting she's Alice) c10

Jim Davis – American Express (with animated Garfield) t44/ same, short t51 / same, (longer version) t58 / same, long t67

Mark Davis [Philadelphia Phillies] -- Phillies Franks c8

Rick Davis [Pro Soccer Player] – Ivory t39

Sammy Davis Jr. -- Alka-Seltzer c3 / Canada Dry c14 / Alka-Seltzer c64 / Episcopal Church AIDS awareness PSA t10 / Made in the USA t18 / Accent t42 / Made in the USA t44

Pam Dawber -- Underalls c4 / Cascade c14

Jimmy Dean -- Jimmy Dean Sausage, 2 ads t2

Dave DeBusschere [NBA player] – Lee Myles Transmissions t34 / same t41

Eldon Dedini [cartoonist] -- Playboy t55

Calvert DeForest (see Larry "Bud" Melman)

Ellen DeGeneres -- Popeye's '83 c10

Gloria DeHaven -- That's My Color! c23

Dina Dietrich – Lennox Gas Furnaces t52 / Best Western t62

Dana Delaney – Wisk t20

Del Fuegos, The – Miller ’85 t15

Dom DeLuise -- NCR c2 / Ziploc ’87 t6 / Ziploc t25 / Ziploc t31 / NCR mult t37 / Ziploc mult t38 / Ziploc mult (one w/ Laura – daughter?) t44 / Z t57

Carole Demas -- Children's Tylenol c7 / Bufferin t4 / [see Magic Garden]

Bob Denver -- McDonald’s (as Gilligan) t9

John Denver – Post Natural Raisin Bran t50

Patti Deutsch -- Charmin c5 / Prudential c8

Danny DeVito – “Jewel of the Nile” t43

Devo – Diet Coke t22

John Diehl -- Raisin Bran? sg1

Phyllis Diller – New York Post Wingo t16 / Star Magazine t29 / NYP Wingo t37

Joe DiMaggio -- The Bowery Bank c8 / Bowery t23

Jeanne Dixon -- Jeanne Dixon's Horoscope Hotline t62 / Star magazine t64

Elizabeth Dole – NYS Traffic Safety, seatbelts PSA t10

James Doohan – Citibank (with wife Wendy) t38 / same t51 (better)

Paul Dooley -- NCR c2 / Sara Lee c21

Dovells, The – Robbins, two ads t18 / same t54

David Doyle – Fed Ex VO t34 / Dayco Top Cog fan belt (VO) t63

Moosie Drier -- Astroblast Power Center c26

William Duell -- Pontiac Grand Am t50 [Sefelt from Cuckoo's Nest]

Julia Duffy -- Hardee's? c24

Karen "Duff" Duffy -- Salon Selectives t2

Sandy Duncan -- Skinny Dip cologne c56

Nora Dunfee -- Almost Home cookies? t64

Billy Joe Dupree [Dallas Cowboys] -- Equal Employment Opportunity PSA t67

Roberto Duran -- 7 Up [w/son, not sure which] '80 sg2

Shelley Duvall -- Library of Congress reading PSA c17

Richard Dysart – Higbee’s [with step-grandchild] t9

George Dzundza -- Safeguard c62

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial -- Special Olympics PSA c18 [Okay, not technically a celeb, but he does play himself.]

Earth, Wind & Fire -- Panasonic sg5 [They strut out of a giant boombox. Just as I'd expect them to.]

Easton, Sheena -- WPIX-FM c20 / same? t12

Ebsen, Buddy -- McDonald’s (as Jed Clampett) t9 / Standard Security Life Insurance t22

Eccles, Ted -- McDonald's '65 c14

Edwards, Gail – Pillsbury? T40

Efron, Marshall – Nikon t21

Eilbacher, Lisa -- Pepsi Light c14

Eisele, Donn [Apollo 7 astronaut] – Actifed t40

Eisen, Al – 2000 Flushes [inventor] t44

Eisenberg, Lou -- New York's Lotto (with Curtis Sharpe) t58 / t61

Eisenmann, Ike -- Radio Shack c4 / McDonald's '73 c35 / Doublemint Gum sg11

Elfman, Jenna -- Prego??? c67 [Very young if it's her, I believe she got into acting at an early age...]

Elias, Alix -- Maxwell House c21 / Almost Home Cookies t43

Elliot, Bob -- American Express c11 / Piels c21

Elliot, Chris -- Smith Bros. Cough Drops? c7 [Looks like him, mannerisms like him...]

Emberg, Kelly -- Palais Royal c2 / Flemington Furs c69 / FF (same?) t2 / / Diet Coke t15 / Cover Girl mascara t19 / Finesse t34 / Diet Coke t50

Emery, Ralph -- Country LP's t4 / National Geographic World Magazine t19

Engel, Georgia -- "Night of 100 Stars II" t12 / Tio Sancho Enchiladas t63

Englund, Robert -- Freddy's Nightmares (as Freddy Krueger) t2

Ericsson, Devon -- Irish Spring t59

Eruzione, Mike (Olympics Hockey) - Amoco t53

Erving, Julius "Dr. J" [Philadelphia 76ers] -- Chapstick c9 / Boy Scouts of America Anti-drug PSA c16 / PAD “Philadelphia Pro Athletes Against Drunk Driving” t30 / Drunk Driving PSA t39 / Converse t66

Esser, Judith [O.B. designer] – O.B. t40

Eubanks, Bob -- Hollywood Christmas Parade '80 sg5

Evans, Dale -- Seven Seas dressings c57

Evans, Linda -- Crystal Light '84 c12 / Cocaine PSA t1 / Crystal Light t40 / Forever Krystle perfume, Carrington cologne t50 / Clairol Ultress ’85 t51

Evans, Monica -- Avis c23 [The Pigeon Sister who wasn't Carole Shelley.]

Everett, Chad – Save the Children PSA t54

Evert-Lloyd, Chris -- Lipton Iced Tea Mix t65 / Converse t66

Fagerbakke, Bill – Sprite t19 / Rice Chex t56

Fairchild, Morgan – Jovan Musk (with Billy Dee Williams) t52

Farber, Barry -- Virex c23 / Virex  c24 / Space Savers VO t7

Farr, Jamie – Mars Bar t50

Farrell, Mike – Planned Parenthood PSA t49

Farrell, Terry – Avon (for a split second) t44

Fat Boys, the – Swatch, Xmas t52

Faustino, David -- Prunes c3 / Bactine '80 c8 / Coke? sg4

Fawcett-Majors, Farrah -- Farrah Shampoo c4 / Lady Schick Speed Styler c32

Fegley, Richard [photographer] -- Playboy t55

Feldman, Corey -- Milk Mate '80 c5

Fender, Freddy -- WHN 1050 c1

Fenneman, George -- Schick c21

Fergus, Keith [pro golfer] – Ivory t13

Ferragamo, Vince -- Sasson c4

Ferrare, Christina -- Body on Tap sg1 / same sg4

Ferraro, Geraldine – Diet Pepsi (w/daughters Donna and Laura) t24 / same t63

Fields, Debbie (Mrs. Fields) – American Express t52

Fields, Kim -- Kraft BBQ Sauce c11

Finkel, Fyvush – NJ Lottery t10 / Pepto-Bismol t13 / Tofutti t17 / Chapstick t20 / KYW News Radio 1060 t30 / Sunoco t40 / Bell Atlantic t47 / NY Telephone t48 / Bell Atlantic t67

Fiore, Bill -- AMF c22 / Almost Home cookies t60

Fisk, Carlton -- Copenhagen c1

Fitzgerald, Ella -- Memorex c12

Fitzmaurice, Mike -- Wheaties c24

Flagg, Fannie -- Bird's Eye pudding c22 / Sanka c57

Fleming, Peggy -- Trident c10 / Trident sg6 / Concord Quartz t23

Flippin, Lucy Lee -- Kellogg's Fruitful Bran '85 t49

Flowers, Waylon & Madame -- FGS c2 [Really only Madame, for car insurance or something.]

Fonda, Henry -- Department of the Treasury, Anti-drug Trafficking PSA c32

Ford, Doug [pro golfer] -- Florida Orange Juice c21

Ford, Glenn – Veterans’ Life Insurance t31

Formby, Homer – Formby’s Furniture Refinisher t39 / same t57

Forster, Terry -- Sports Illustrated c17

Forsythe, John -- Michelob (holidays) c3 / Michelob Light VO c11 / Health Education and Welfare  PSA VO c11 / Fathers PSA c32 / Cope tension pills c55 / Michelob VO, mult ads c59 / Michelob Xmas VO t18 / Michelob VO (Concorde) t23 / Save the Children t29 / Michelob VO t36 / StC, short t45 / Forever Krystle perfume, Carrington cologne t50 / Save the Children PSA t65

Foster, Jodie -- McDonald's '72 c35

Fox, Huckleberry -- Howard Johnson c10 / Hershey New Trail c20 / Disney travel t16 / Sprite t19 / Hallmark t26 / Hallmark t48

Fox, Michael J. -- Cocaine PSA c16 / Pepsi c17 / TV Guide t66

Foxx, Redd – Craftmatic t54

Francis, Arlene -- Phillips c55

Francis, Connie – LP’s t12 / Rape PSA t65

Franken, Steve -- Albert J. Lowry Real Estate t64

Franklin, Aretha – National Cancer Institute PSA t26 / McDonald’s t30 / Coke (vo) t53 / NCI PSA same? t57

Franklin, Bonnie – Save the Children t9 / Save the Children t31 / StC t41

Franklin, Diane -- Soft n' Pretty toilet paper c7 / Reese's c12 / same Reese's sg11

Franklin, Tony (place kicker) -- Wheaties c5

Frazier, Clyde -- Pepsi c28

Frazier, Joe -- McDonald's c12 / High Blood Pressure PSA (with son Marvis) t58

Frazier, Marvis -- High Blood Pressure PSA (with father Joe) t58

Frazier, Walt -- Natural Light c2

Fred the Furrier – Fred the Furrier’s New Fur Vaults t49

Freeman, Deena – Vivid t17

Freeman, Kathleen -- Charmin c22 / Consumer Information Catalog PSA (Pueblo) ? t31

Frees, Paul -- Mr. Goodwrench? (VO)

Fridell, Squire -- Pillsbury c3 / Jovan Musk Oil '78 c5 / Twix '79 c5 / Formula 409 c57 / Bud Light t36 / Toyota, mult t38 / Toyota t45 / Toyota ’85 mult t50 / Toyota t53 / T t63 / T t67

Fuller, Kurt -- Chrysler t2

Funicello, Annette -- Skippy c12

Furst, Stephen -- Tiffles Chips c9 / Van de Camp’s Fish t20

Fury -- Borden c21 / Borden, mult. ads c22 / Borden, mult. ads c25

Gabor, Zsa Zsa – Ring with beauty pamphlet? VO T7

Gabriel, John – Oldsmobile t26 / Olds t42 / Olds t47 / Wall Street Journal mult t55 / Oldsmobile (tri-state) t61 (in old-style bathing suit!)

Galloway, Don -- Gillette Atra c59 / Ocean Spray t13 / Citibank t21 / Citibank t36 / Best Xmas mult t46

Galway, James – American Express Traveler’s Checks (short)  t17 / AmEx (long) t36

Gambling, John -- WOR-AM c1 / Meadowlands Racing c4 / Flemington Furs (long and short versions)  t35 / United Way PSA t51
[NYC radio guy.]

Garagiola, Joe -- Doan's c23

Gardenia, Vincent -- NYC Water Conservation PSA t52, also t57

Garland, Grace -- "Live at the Magic Pan"  c19, t29 [Some soap actress, serving up a heap of overwrought singing.]

Garner, James -- Polaroid, mult ads c59 / Mazda 929 ‘88 t8 / Beef t41 / Mazda 626 t50 / Mazda B-2000 Cab Plus t51 / Mazda 626 t51

Garr, Teri -- Yo-Yo's Shoes c3 / CARE ’85 t15

Garrett, Hank -- Sure c12 / Gillette c21 / Crest c22

Garrison, David – Red Lobster t13 / Dawn t17

Garvey, Steve – Anheuser-Busch “Know when to say when” PSA t29 / same? t61 / Paramount power blower t66

Gass, Kyle – Dustbuster? [Sure looks like him…] T17

Gastineau, Mark (NY Jets) – Crabtree Toyota t25

Gatlin, Larry – Members Only (and brothers) t46

Gayle, Crystal -- Bureau of Land Management PSA c6

Geer, Will -- Treetots c3

Gelman, Larry – Mobil Super Unleaded t19 / MSU t66

George, Phyllis -- PTA PSA t65

Gerard, Gil -- Harvey's c21

Getty, J. Paul -- E.F. Hutton c23 [Must be seen to be believed. Comes off more hostage than pitchman. Weird!]

Gibb, Donald (Ogre) -- Rent-a-Center t46

Gibbons, Euell -- Grape-Nuts c25

Gibbs, Marla -- Accent c3 / same? ’83 t15

Gielgud, John -- Paul Masson '84 c20 / PM 84 t47

Gifford, Frank -- FL OJ c21 / Planters c21 / Athletes Against Drunk Driving PSA t28

Gifford, Kathie Lee -- Summit candy bar c2 / Carnival Cruises t1 / Carnival t52

Gigante, Bob -- For State Senator c4

Gilbert, Melissa -- Noxzema sg11

Gilford, Jack -- Lay's c11

Gilliam, Burton – Meister Brau t16 / Tab t17 / Nutrasweet t44 / Ford Ranger t51

Ginty, Robert -- FTD Florist c61

Glover, Danny -- Miller? c63

Glover, Savion – NYC Water Conservation PSA t52, also t57

Gold, Missy -- Barbie Dream House c12

Goldberg, Whoopi – At the Lyceum t12

Goldin, Ricky Paull -- AFX? c2 / Pop Rocks c7 / RC Cola? c17 / Lipton Soup t42

Gooden, Dwight (NY Mets) -- Diet Pepsi t67

Goodman, Dody -- Raisin Bran c13

Goodman, Harvey – Windowizards (proprietor) t54

Goodman, John -- Caramello (dubbed voice?) c4 / MCI c12 / York Peppermint Patties sg12 / McDonald’s t38

Goolagong, Evonne – Geritol (w/family) t16 / Geritol (also with family, but this time “Daddy beat Mommy!”) t37

Gordon, Barry – Sine-Off ’83 t38

Gorney, Karen Lynn -- Close-Up? c59

Gosselaar, Mark Paul -- Cookie Crisp? c18

Gossett Jr., Louis – US Coast Guard PSA t6

Gould, Elliott -- Playboy t55

Goulding, Ray -- American Express c11 / Piels c21

Gowdy, Curt -- Goodwill Games VO '86 c17 / Burnham Home Heating t33

Graubert, Judy -- JC Penney Catalog c11 / Ocusol c22 / Crunch n' Munch c25 / Glad-Lock t4 [Electric Company actress.]

Graves, Peter -- see Fury

Gray, Erin -- Scatter Perm c55 / Bloomingdale’s t33 / Bloomingdale’s t37

Gray, Linda – TV Guide t9

Graziano, Rocky – Shell Barn (with owner, who I believe is Arnold “Crazy Arnie” Pomerantz) t57

Greeley, Fr. Andrew -- TV Guide t65

Green, Dallas (MLB pitcher/manager) -- seatbelt PSA t63

Green, Seth -- Matchbox Car Wash c1 / White Cloud c18 / White Cloud t35 / Kool Aid t35

Greene, Lorne – Alpo ’83 t18 / National Home Life Assurance ’84 t19 / NHLA t31 / Alpo ’83 t40 / Alpo t41

Greene, "Mean" Joe -- Coke c12

Greenspan, Dr. Alan – Apple IIc t45

Gregory, Cynthia (ballerina) – American Express Card t19 / same t21 / same (short vers) t37

Gretzky, Wayne -- (w/ son Keith) 7 Up sg7

Grey, Joel -- Meals on Wheels PSA c18

Grier, Roosevelt "Rosey" -- Pringles '86 t2 / Cancer Information Service PSA t28

Griese, Bob -- Screwball game c25

Griffith, Andy -- see Andy Griffith Show / AT&T leased phones t16

Griggs, Anthony (Philadelphia Eagles) – Chrysler t63

Guillaume, Robert -- Bounce c23 / Ocean Spray t13

Gulden, Charlie – Gulden’s Mustard t34 / GM t42

Guttenberg, Steve -- Gleem c13

Gwynne, Fred -- Hyundai Excel (VO) t60

Hack, Shelley -- JC Penney c11

Hackett, Buddy – Caesar’s Atlantic City t41

Hagler, “Marvelous” Marvin -- Harrah’s Marina t18 / Harrah’s t22 / Diet Coke t40 / Pizza Hut t62

Hagman, Larry – Dallas Syndication recap (as J.R. Ewing) t15 / BVD 86 t47 / American Cancer Society PSA, Great American Smokeout, short t51 / ACS t53

Haid, Charles -- LA Beer t58 / Reading is Fundamental PSA (w Michael Warren) t58

Haje, Khrystyne -- Kodak t66

Hale, Barbara -- Amana microwaves c11

Haley, Alex – Playboy t55

Hall, Anthony Michael – Kleenex t47 / Catholic Relief Services PSA t49

Hall, Arsenio – Tab t19

Hall, Jerry -- Sasson c9 / Cella Wines c11

Hall, Rich – Roy Rogers t22

Hallett, Jack -- Dannon yogurt t64 / same t67

Hamer, Rusty -- see Make Room For Daddy

Hamill, Dorothy -- Ice Capades  [?] / Amoco t53

Hamil, Pete – NY Daily News t12

Hamill, Mark -- March of Dimes PSA c61

Hamilton, Margaret -- Maxwell House (as Cora) '79 c11 / MH, mult ads c21

Hamilton, Scott – Ice Capades t22

Hamlisch, Marvin -- A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Hampton, James -- Solarian Tile c1

Hancock, Herbie – Pizza Hut t18

Harder, James -- National (vo) t65 / National Enquirer t66 / Pine-Sol t67

Hardin, Melora – Kodak VR35 t31

Hardison, Kadeem – Trident t51

Hardy, Paul – Sporting News t24

Harlem Globetrotters – McDonald’s (poor video) t57

Harmon, Kelly – Tic Tac t18 (same on t19) / TT mult t41

Harmon, Mark – Coors t56

Harnois, Elizabeth -- Hunt’s Ketchup t56

Harris, Estelle -- Mobil Super Unleaded t66

Harris, Mel -- Secret c18 / Tide t27

Harrison, Jenilee – Us Magazine t54

Harry, Deborah -- Murjani GV jeans c4

Hart, Roxanne -- American Express c20

Hartley, Mariette -- Polaroid c12 / Polaroid, mult ads c59 / Celestial Seasonings 85 t55 / Celestial Seasonings Tea t61

Hartman, David -- Good Morning America c11

Hartman, Phil -- Activision Hockey c5

Harvard, Andrew (Everest climber) – Bayer t9

Havlichek, John -- YMCA c5

Hayes, Helen -- Home S&L c21 / CityMeals-on-Wheels PSA t24 / CityMeals t31 / CityMeals t44

Haymer, Johnny -- NCR t37 / Soft Scrub t37

Haysbert, Dennis -- Mattel Electronic Basketball c7

Hazard, Robert – American Red Cross PSA t26 / also t63

Hearns, Tommy – US Customs drug boats PSA t7

Hecht, Paul – Betty Crocker t27

Helmond, Katherine -- TV Guide t15

Hemingway, Margaux -- Babe from Faberge c5

Hemingway, Mariel – Maxwell House t27

Hemsley, Sherman -- NyQuil c21

Henderson, Florence -- Tang c2 / Sears Optical '80 c8 / Wesson c16 / Klean 'n Shine, mult ads, c21 / Wesson t4 / Wesson t17 / Wesson t24 / Wesson t29 / Wesson mult t33 / Wesson t40 / W t60

Hendricks, Jim – Save-a-Thon Fabrics (as Rhett Butler) t28 [Best known as “Commander USA”]

Henkin, Howard (NYC DJ, "Howard the Cab Driver") -- WPLJ t60

Henning, Doug -- Minolta c3

Herrmann, Edward – Xerox t37

Hervey, Jason -- Hot Wheels c6 / Hostess? c7 / Fruit Roll-Ups c30 / McDonald’s “Makin’ Music” t19

Higgins, Joel – Prudential-Bache t20 / same t23 / same t37

Hillerman, John – Mauna Loa Macadamias t41

Hines, Gregory -- Sanka t1

Hines, Maurice – “Uptown… It’s Hot!” t18

Hinnant, Skip (Electric Company actor) -- Sure c12 / Gillette VO c21 / Vicks c22 / Bloo VO c30 / Crossland Savings t12 / Burger King VO t40 / Suburban Country Furniture t59

Hirsch, Judd -- JC Penney c11 / I'm Not Rappaport (w Cleavon Little) t59

Ho, Don -- Pond's c11

Hobel, Mara -- Busy Puppets c5 / Bryan Meats c8 / Holly Hobbie Day n' Night c10 / Dolly Pops c14 / McDonald's? sg11 / Bounty t53
[She played Joan Crawford's daughter in "Mommie Dearest."]

Hoffman, Basil -- Gorgeous Creatures dolls c8 / Munchos c57 / Water-Pik Shower Massage t18 / US Telecom t21, t26 / Dayco Top Cog fan belt t63

Hoffman, Tony – Informercial seminars t40

Hogan, Ben -- AMF [?]

Holder, Geoffrey -- 7 Up c6 / 7 Up sg12 / 7 Up t9 / Hilton Miami Beach VO t12 / 7 Up Xmas t16 / 7 Up (in space!) t20 / 7 Up t35

Holloway, Brian (New England Patriot) – alcohol education PSA t11 / teen drunk driving PSA (same?) t60

Holloway, Sterling -- Tuneyville Choo-Choo VO? c9

Holly, Lauren – Crisco? t49

Holm, Celeste – Young Audiences PSA t10

Holton, Mark -- Water-Pik Shower Massage t18

Holtzman, Liz -- political ad c20

Hope, Bob – Fugazy Continental t14 / Made in the USA t18 / Made in the USA t22 / National Foundation for Cancer Research PSA t22 / Southwestern Bell Media Silver Pages (senior directory) t22 / Made in the USA t44 / Texaco Petrox t47 / MitUSA t60

Horne, Lena – Meadowlands NJ t20 / Meadowlands t23

House, Gerry – four or five WSIX 98 spots t8

Houseman, John -- Puritan Oil c20 / Puritan t9

Houston, Whitney -- Diet Coke t5

Howard, Ken – Chevrolet t36 / Crest Tartar Control t38

Howard, Ron -- see Andy Griffith Show

Howard, Rance – Sanka t34

Howdy Doody Show -- Rice Krispies c24

Howe, Mark (Philadelphia Flyers) – Chrysler t63

Huddleston, David -- Citrus Hill c6 / CH t11 / Colortyme t24 / Colortyme t27 / Citrus Hill t36 / Citrus Hill t41

Hudson, Ernie -- New Coke t65

Hughes, Finola – Plymouth Duster t33

Hunley, Leeann -- Ford c7

Hurst, Rick -- Gatorade c14 / V-8 t16 / Soft Sense t21 / McDonald’s t36 / National Car Rental t37

Hutton, Lauren -- Ultima c1

Hutton, Timothy -- "Teenage Suicide" show promo c3

Iacocca, Lee -- Chrysler '80 c11 / Chrysler c12 / Plymouth TC3 c14 / “New” Chrysler t37 / C t40 / Diabetes PSA t53 / C t59

 

Idol, Billy -- MTV c20

 

Iglesias, Julio – VH-1 t14

 

Imus, Don -- Water Conservation PSA c9 / WNBC shrink c17 / WNBC, job opening after Howard fired (with Soupy Sales) t51 / Pontiac (local tri-state) t59

 

Ingram, James – Budweiser t37

 

Ireland, Kathy – Maybelline t33

 

Iron Sheik -- WWF Thumb Wrestlers c18

 

Irons, Jeremy -- Night of 100 Stars II t12

 

Irving, George S. – Campbell’s Vegetable Beef t51

 

Isaacson, Peter -- Great Moves game c25

 

Jabbar, Kareem Abdul -- Nestle Crunch t43

 

Jack, Wolfman -- Clearasil c3

 

Jackson, J.J. -- MTV jacket c8

 

Jackson, Michael -- Pepsi c12 / Pepsi c18 / Pepsi, mult. ads "The Magic Begins" c70 / Pepsi mult t36

 

Jackson, Reggie -- Panasonic c10 / Reggie candy bar c61

 

Jackson, Victoria -- MCI c14 / Mitsubishi Trucks t49

 

Jacksons -- Pepsi c12 / Pepsi c18 / Pepsi mult t36 / Pepsi fire t46

 

Jacobi, Lou -- Pepto Bismol c21 / NYC Water Conservation PSA t52 also t57 / Almost Home cookies t64

 

Jagger, Mick -- MTV c6

 

James, Jessica -- Lipton Onion Soup Mix t61 / Sermonette (She quotes a long Kipling passage. Died a long time ago. Both of them.) c19

[Eddie's mom in "Diner."]

 

James, Tommy (and the Shondells) -- Schlitz Malt Liquor c6

 

Janis, Paula -- see Magic Garden

 

Janssen, David -- Excedrin, 2 ads c56

 

Janssen, Famke -- Exclamation Perfume t6

 

Jenner, Bruce -- Minolta c2 / Tropicana c12 / Pringles '86 t2 / Tropicana t36 / National Down Syndrome Congress PSA t44

 

Jeter, Michael -- Theragran M c10

 

“Jimmy the Greek” – Jiffy Lube t28 / same t31

 

John, Elton – Sasson mult t23

 

John, Olivia Newton -- VH-1 t14

 

Johnson, Arte -- Toys R Us c5 / Toys R Us c7

 

Johnson, Don -- Made in the USA t44 / same? t60

 

Johnson, Earvin "Magic" -- 7 Up c5 / same sg3 / Converse t66

 

Johnson, Howard (jazz musician) – Lite 84 t45

 

Johnson, Ray Jay  (Bill Saluga)-- Natural Lite c1 / Einstein game c5 / Einstein c8

 

Johnson, Van -- Oat Flakes c25

 

Jones, Deacon -- Parkay c7

 

Jones, James Earl -- Fisher Systems VO c19 / Lutheran World Relief VO t23 / Goodyear VO t39 / Chrysler Laser VO t40 / Boy Scouts PSA VO t46

 

Jones, Janet -- Shasta c9 / same sg12

 

Jones, Shirley -- Consumers Catalog c10 / Triscuit c12

Jones, Simon -- Brawny paper towels t64

Jourdan, Louis -- Prell c22

 

Journey, Dan (“racer”) – Toyota t38

 

Jump, Gordon -- Shakey's Pizza c13 / Secret t23

 

Kalas, Harry (Phillies?) – Prism Cable t46

 

Kaliban, Bob -- Yard Master c24 / Mego 1973 industry reel c27

 

Kaplan, Gabe -- Pepsi c6

 

Kaplan, Marvin – Mobil Super Unleaded t19 / MSU t66

 

Karan, Donna – Dry Idea t31

 

Karen, James -- Pathmark c18 / t11 / t12 / t14 / t16 / t19 / t20 / t21 / t25 / t28 / t35 / t41 / winter, with sled t45 / t47 / t51 / mult t53 / P t57 / P (VO) t58 / P t62 / P mult t64 / P t66 / P t67

 

Karolyi, Bela – Miller Lite ’85 t39

 

Karras, Alex – TV Guide t14

 

Kashif – WOR promo, “Kashif and Friends” holiday benefit t49

 

Kauk, Ron (rock climber) – Ford Bronco II t50

 

Kean, Gov. Tom – NJ Tourism t24 / Aging PSA t67

 

Keaton, Buster -- Simon Pure Beer c28

 

Keel, Howard – “With Love, From Howard Keel” LP’s t20

 

Kellerman, Sally – Sears VO t21

 

Kelley, Kitty – Star Magazine t16

 

Kelly, Roz -- Great Moves game c25

 

Kennedy, George – Better Business Bureau of Eastern PA PSA t17

 

Kennedy, Mimi -- Hall's? c57

Kenyatta, Floyd -- Wilfred Academy of Beauty t66

Kerns, Joanna -- Post Fruit & Fibre c20 / Joy c62 / Fruit & Fibre t23 / General Foods International Coffee t34

 

Kerr, Jim -- WNEW '83 Calendar c9 / WPLJ c17 / WPLJ t60

[NYC DJ]

 

Kiff, Kaleena -- Honey Nut Cheerios? c17

Kilmer, Val -- New Coke? t65

Kimbrough, Charles -- Levi's Panatela c63

 

Kind, Richard -- Mad Magazine Game '79 c8

 

Kiner, Ralph -- Foamy c7 / Wheaties c24

 

King, Alan -- North Shore Animal League c18 / same t23 / same, short t49

 

King, Don – Lafayette t24

 

King, John (cinematographer) – Genesee t22

 

King, Stephen – American Express, long version t12 / same, short t17

 

Kissinger, Henry -- I Love New York t38

 

Klavan, Gene -- WOR am c1

[NYC radio guy.]

 

Kline, Richard -- Bud Light t60

 

Klein, Robert – American Lung Association PSA t24

 

Kline, Kevin -- Schlitz Malt Liquor c21 [As Robin Hood.] / A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

 

Klugman, Jack – Better Hearing PSA (sans toupee) t35 / Steak-Umm t41

 

Knievel, Evel -- Motocross Bike c25 / Roadmaster Wheels c25 [He's seen in one but not the other, I forget which.]

 

Knight, Chris -- Twix '83 c9

 

Knight, Gladys (and the Pips) -- Coke c59

 

Knotts, Don -- Gaines Meal c22 / Gaines Meal  c23 / Gaines Meal  c24 / see also Andy Griffith Show

 

Koch, Ed -- Election c1 / For Carter '80 c2 / For Governor c6 / WCBS Christmas wishes c7 / For Gov. c10 / Clean Up New York PSA t42 / New York Fair Housing Task Force PSA t42

 

Kool and the Gang -- Schlitz Malt Liquor c12 / NJ Seatbelt PSA (Robert “Kool” Bell, James “JT” Taylor) t29 / Wendy’s chicken nuggets t29

 

Koop, C. Everett – Cancer Information Service PSA t11

 

Kopell, Bernie -- Lifebuoy c57 / CigarRest t60

 

Kopins, Karen -- Thom McAn c7 / Seagrams t5

 

Korman, Harvey -- Diet Coke t22

 

Kozak, Harley Jane – Lancers Wine t20

 

Krakowski, Jane -- Stop Thief game c5

Jack Kramer [tennis player] -- FL Orange Juice c21

Krass, Ben – Twerpy Krass Brother dressed as baby, in another women beat him with newspapers  t7 / Again, topless and fondled by women t17 / Twerp gobbles with 8 gals t18 / “Want women at your feet?” t46 / Ben’s tits pop t46 /

 

Kuhlman, Ron – McDonald’s t39

 

Kulp, Nancy -- Planter's Cheez Balls c8

 

Kulukundis, Manou Tyson – Garden Club of America water conservation PSA t31

 

LaBelle, Patti -- Kodak t29 / Philadelphia Tourism t54, t63

 

Lacy, Jerry -- Right Guard c55 [As Humphrey Bogart--yep, that guy.]

 

Ladd, Cheryl -- Michelob c59 / TV Guide t25

 

Laine, Frankie – TV Treasury t31

 

LaLanne, Jack -- JL Spas c2 / Spas c3 / Spas c5 / Twist-Away c32 /

 

Lambert, Beverly – Kismet, An Evening Dinner Theatre t13

 

Lamm, Robert (Chicago) -- Youth Project anti-drug PSA c32

 

LaMotta, Vikki – Vikkiflex exercise bar t51

 

Lampert, Zohra -- Goya, mult ads c20 / Goya t15 / Goya t34

 

Lancaster, Burt -- MCI c20 / MCI mult t15 / MCI t26 / MCI t58

 

Landers, Audrey -- Tegrin c11

 

Landesberg, Steve – Time Magazine t11 / Contac t50

 

Landon, Michael -- Kodak Ektra c3 / Family Security Life Plan t17 / Foster Parents Plan t20

 

Landry, Tom -- Power for Living book c19 / same t12

 

Lane, Cristy – Christmas LP t10

 

Lane, Nathan -- Cheetos c14 / Cherry NyQuil t4 / Armour Dinner Classics t40

Lanier, Bob – Mothers Against Drunk Driving PSA t11

Lansbury, Angela -- cornea transplant PSA t65

Largent, Steve (Seattle Seahawks) – Ivory Soap t27 / Sports Illustrated t61

Lasorda, Tommy -- Union 76 c2 / Yoplait '83 c3 [Speaking French.]

 

Lauper, Cyndi -- MTV c20

 

Laurance, Mitchell (or possibly Matthew) -- Secret t2 [They're twins, so who knows.]

 

Lauren, Tammy -- Barbie Fashion Face c26 / Barbie Town House c26

 

Lauria, Dan -- Schaefer c7 / Philadelphia Electric Company t7

 

Lawlor, John -- McDonald's c59 / Dancerella c60

 

Lawrence, Joey -- Chips Ahoy c12 / Care Bears Books c67 / GTE Sprint t21

 

Lawrence, Vicki -- Diet Coke t22

 

Leach, Robin – Burger King VO t30 / same t54

 

Learned, Michael – JEMS Emergency First Aid Videotape (name misspelled “Micheal!”) t30 / Puritan Oil t48

 

LeBlanc, Matt -- Facts of Life promo c16 / Heinz Ketchup c69 / same Heinz t2

 

Lebrock, Kelly – Bamberger’s gold? Two ads T18

 

Lee, Kaaren – Wendy’s light menu t57

 

Lee, Will -- Commercial Credit Control Data c11 [Mr. Hooper!]

 

Leeds, Phil -- Tilex t4 / Tree Top Juice t37  [I also suspect he's Twinkles the Clown in a terrifying old Post cereal ad, but I'm still trying to verify that...]

 

Legrand, Michel – American Express t21

Leibman, Ron -- Doubles, Ritz Theatre t65

Leisure, David – New Jersey Bell Yellow Pages t10 / Bell of PA Yellow Pages t18 / Bell Atlantic YP mult t20 / NJ Bell YP mult t37 / Texas Instruments t38 / US Telecom t45 / Isuzu Impulse (as Joe Isuzu) mult t48 / NJ Bell t50

 

Lembeck, Harvey -- Duz c22

 

Lemmon, Jack – Alzheimer’s PSA t45

 

Lemon, Meadowlark – Charmin t37

 

Leno, Jay -- Cool Ranch Doritos c17 / Cool Ranch Doritos t1

 

LeNoire, Rosetta - WPVI Action News promo t53

 

Leonard, Chuck – Hausman Computer School t48

 

Leonard, "Sugar" Ray -- 7 Up (with Jr.) '80 sg2 / US Customs drug boats PSA t7 / HBO t19 / HBO (slightly diff) t21

 

Leonard, Sheldon -- Post Crispy Critters VO c23 / Post (diff) c24

 

Lewis, “Grandpa” Al – McDonald’s (as Grandpa Munster) t9

 

Lewis, Emmanuel -- McDonald's Calendar c3 / Burger King '83 c7 / BK c12 / BK t13

 

Lewis, Gilbert – Park’s Sausage t52

 

Lewis, Jenny -- Merry Go Round Stroller? c5 / Baby Skates c9 / Toys R Us t13 / Toys R Us (full song) t33 / A1 Steak Sauce t49 / Maybelline? t50 / Fruit Roll-Ups? t59

 

Lewis, Jerry -- Spellbound game c25

 

Lewis, Sagan -- Pep Boys t63

 

Lewis, Vicki -- Ajax c16 / Ritz Bits t8 / RB t13 / Cheer t37

 

Light, Judith -- Hostess t5 / TV Guide t15

 

Linkletter, Art -- Contour Chairs c16 / Circus mixed nuts c23 / Contour Chairs c69

 

Linkletter, Diane -- Circus mixed nuts c23

 

Lipton, Peggy -- Canada Dry c22

 

Little, Cleavon -- I'm Not Rappaport (w Judd Hirsch) t59

 

Little, Rich -- Little Debbie (as Robin Leach) t5 / Little Debbie (as John Wayne) t27

 

Locker, John (rock climber) – Gillette Good News t45

 

Lockhart, Anne – Acme Supermarkets t12 / Acme t33 / Acme t43 / Acme t53 / A t63

 

Lockhart, June -- Gravy Train '76 c11

 

Locklear, Heather -- Faberge Organic Shampoo c12 / Sea & Ski? c14 / Jack LaLanne Spas, mult ads c20 / Jack LaLanne t18 / JL t20 / JL t21 / JL t38 / JL t47 / JL t58

 

Logan, Johnny (Braves) -- Camel c22

 

London, Julie -- Rose Milk c11

Long, Howie (LA Raiders) -- Personna razors t67

Long, Loretta -- Cool Whip c22 [Now I forget if she was on Sesame Street or Electric Company.]

 

Lopez, Nancy – Geritol (w/family) t31

 

Lord, Marjorie -- see Make Room For Daddy

 

Lormer, Jon -- Latter Day Saints PSA c16

[The old man in "Creepshow" who wanted his cake.]

 

Louganis, Greg -- Olympic Coins PSA c20 / Care-Free Gum t49

 

Loughlin, Lori -- Trapper Keeper c6 / Tab c8 / Gimbels c9

 

Louise, Tina -- Arrid c5

 

Lowell, Carey -- JC Penney? c65

 

Luckinbill, Laurence -- A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

 

Lujack, Larry -- WLS c6 [Chicago radio guy.]

 

Lunden, Joan -- Lite Brite c12 / Hasbro Shuffletown Railroad t44

 

Lurie, Dan (“Strongman”) – Dan Lurie Fitness World t35

 

Lyman, Dorothy -- Lime-Away c8

 

Lynch, Ed (Mets) -- Food Drive c3

 

Lynde, Paul -- Maxwell House c21 [Looking positively demented.]

 

Lynn, Loretta -- Crisco c8 / Crisco (w/ Doo) c9 / Crisco '82 c10 / Crisco c17 / Crisco (w/ daughters) t1 / (family) t21 / (family) t23 / (twins) t23 / Crisco mult t37 / family t46 / family t53 / Greatest Hits LP (not Loretta, but niece Connie and sister-in-law Patsy!) ’85 t56

 

Lyons, Jeffrey – GE “Consumer Watch” t27

 

Lyric Opera of Chicago – McDonald’s t29

 

Jones, Henry -- Sidekicks candy c25

 

M*A*S*H cast -- IBM t4 [The second bananas, anyway.]

Macchio, Ralph -- Bubble Yum '80 c4

 

MacDowell, Andie -- Calvin Klein Jeans c12

 

MacGraw, Ali -- Polaroid Swinger c24

 

MacLaine, Shirley -- Diet Pepsi (w Daughter Sachi Parker) t63

 

MacLeod, Gavin -- Star Magazine t16

 

MacPherson, Elle – Burger King salad bar t20 / Sea Breeze t25

 

Macy, William H. – Brick Church t28 / Shop-Rite, xmas truck t50

 

Madden, Dave -- Mealtime VO c11 / Kellogg’s Squares VO t6 / Flintstones Vitamins VO ’86 t8

 

Madden, John -- Lite c14 / Ace Hardware t6 / Lite t22 / Lite t24 / Lite (“Case of the Missing Case”) ’85 t31 / Lite '85 t61

 

Maddox, Garry (Philadelphia Phillies) – Power For Living t36

Madonna -- MTV t66

Magic Garden (Paula Janis, Carole Demas) -- LP c5

 

Mahler, Bruce – Bird Talk Magazine (with Buster) t14 / BTM (with Shana) t47

 

Majors, Lee -- Diet Rite c1 / DR t15

 

Make Room for Daddy -- Maxwell House c21 / Sugar Crisp c23 / Grape-Nut Flakes c24 /

 

Malden, Karl -- American Express mult ads c11 / AmEx c12 / AmEx Traveler’s Checks t6 / AmEx t36 / AmEx t44

 

Manchester, Melissa -- WPIX-FM c2 / VH-1 t14

 

Mandrell, Barbara -- Kinney c18 / Visa Fabrics t10 / Kinney t15 / Kinney t21 / K t24 / Kt50 / Visa Fabrics t51

 

Mandrell, Louise – White Rain (sporting quite the mullet!) T29

 

Mantegna, Joe -- Ragu t58

 

Mantle, Mickey -- OK Cable '86 c18 / Florida Orange Juice c22 / Florida Orange Juice (diff) c23 / USA Today t19

 

Marchand, Nancy – Wonder t17

 

Marinaro, Ed – Child Abuse PSA t57

 

Marino, Dan – Diet Pepsi t15 / Draft Registration PSA t28 / Isotoner Gloves, xmas t49

 

Maris, Roger -- Post Sugar Crisp c24

 

Marshall, E.G. – Life Sign (device for quitting smoking) t7

 

Marshall, Rex -- Maxwell House c21

Martel, K.C. -- Combos t66

Martin, Barney -- Maxim c21

 

Martin, Billy -- A's Manager c8 / Lite, mult ads  c14 / Pepto Bismol c21 / NP27 foot spray c22 / Captain Black Tobacco t13 / Capt Black, short t53

 

Martin, Pamela Sue -- Yardley c22 [As "Pam Martin."]

 

Martin, Margo – Bounty t22

 

Martin, Mary - American Cancer Society PSA (w/ son Larry Hagman) t53

 

Marx, Chico -- Prom c28

 

Marx, Groucho -- DeSoto c28

 

Marx, Harpo -- Pepsi c28 / Prom c28

 

Masak, Ron -- Nice n' Soft toilet paper c3 / Tropicana c5 [Doing his Lou Costello schtick.] / Kellogg's sg7 / Nestle Crunch t43

 

Massimino, Rollie (basketball coach) – Windsor Shirts t54

 

Masterson, Danny – Tang t38

 

Matthius, Gail – Maxwell House t12 / Gaines Gravy Train? T17

 

Mattson, Robin -- Santa Barbara t2

 

Mays, Willie – Empire Ford t10 / Empire Ford t11 / EF t15 / USA Today t19

 

McCann, Chuck -- Pringles c4, t33 / Jack in the Box c12 / Byrrh aperitif c22 / Klondike Bars t60

 

McCarren, Fred – Quaker Instant Oats? T39

 

McCarthy, Kevin -- "Alone Together" play c19 / same t20

 

McCarver, Tim – Cadillac ’86 t50 / Caddy t57

 

McCashin, Constance -- No Nonsense sg1

 

McClure, Marc -- Kellogg's sg7 / AT&T t6 /

 

McClurg, Edie -- McDonald's t1 / Tree Top Juice t37

 

McCormick, Maureen -- Great Moves game c25

 

McDuffy, Laura -- Promises, Promises t24

 

McEnroe, John -- Bic Razors c14 / Sports Illustrated Xmas t10 / Bic t55

 

McEwen, Mark -- Chunky Soup c17 / WPIX 11 c20 / Federal Express c20 / McDonald’s t23 / WNEW-FM t23

 

McFadden, Gates – Sara Lee Croissants t42

 

McGinley, Ted -- The Gap c14

 

McGovern, Terry -- Shell '81 c8 / Vivitar sg5

 

McKean, John -- For Assemblyman, NYC c4

 

McKeon, Doug -- Ice Bird  c27 / Alpha-Bits c7 / Bubble Yum c30

 

McLish, Rachel – Jack LaLanne Holiday Spa t24 / LaLanne (diff) T49

 

McMahon, Ed -- Providence Federal c3 / Budweiser VO c11 / Bud VO c22 / Bud VO t5 / Mannington JT88 Never-Wax Floors t25 / MCI VO t26 / Mannington t27 / Craftmatic t48

 

McMahon, Jim – Miracle Whip t16 / Honda Scooters t29

McMillon, Doris -- Big Apple Minute (Lower East Side) '80 c8

Meadows, Audrey -- Butterball c8

Meadows, Jayne -- Salvation Army PSA t28

Melle Mel -- NYC Crack PSA c17 / different t28

Mellencamp, John Cougar – MTV t30 / MTV t66

Melman, Larry "Bud" -- Pringles '86 t2

Meloni, Christopher – Burger King Yumbo ’88 t6

Melton, Sid -- see Make Room for Daddy

Melvin, Allan -- Liquid-Plumr, 2 ads c57

Mendenhall, David -- Lay's '82 c6 / Bumblebee Tuna t34 / Bumblebee (same?) t38

Meredith, Burgess -- Bulova VO c11 / Keds VO c14 / Honda VO c16 / Honda Civic VO c67 / Florida OJ VO t4 / Honda VO t24 / Honda Civic VO t38 / Nutrasweet? VO T38 / Honda VO t44 / Maryland Tourism VO t46 / H VO t47 / Commodore 128 VO t50 / California Strawberries (VO) t58 / Honda Accord (VO) t59 / Honda Accord t65

Meredith, Don -- Showermate c9 / Lipton t29 / Lipton t39

Meriwether, Lee -- Hollywood Christmas Parade '80 sg5

Metrano, Art – Rent-a-Center t46

Meyers, Ann -- 7 Up c5 / same sg3

Michaelson, Melissa -- Darcy doll c5

Midler, Bette -- WPIX-FM c19

The Mighty Sparrow -- B's restaurant t65

Milano, Alyssa -- AIDS PSA c16 / Hi-C t40

Mill, Andy (Olympian) – Fit Stiks t55

Miller, Penelope Ann – Ban ’84 t19

Milligan, Spencer -- Anacin c61 / Colony Wine c61 / Kal Kan Cat Food t43 [Rick Marshall from "Land of the Lost."]

Mills, Donna – Sun Country Wine Cooler t30

Milonakis, Andy -- Chew-eez? t2 [Can't imagine it could be anyone else.]

Miner, Jan (“Madge”) -- Palmolive c20 / P c32 / P t22 / P t38 / P t47 / t63

Minnefield, Frank (Cleveland Brown?) – American Red Cross PSA t6

Minnelli, Liza -- A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Miss America 1957 Marian Ann McKnight -- FL Grapefruit Juice, 2 ads c21

Miss Teenage USA Collette Daiute -- Ford c32

Miss Universe Irene Saez 1981 -- Carefree Gum [?]

Mizerak, Steve (billiards) -- Miller Lite c63

Modean, Jayne -- Burger King Star Wars glasses c2 / Maybelline Kissing Stick c3 / Downy c12 / C&C Cola t35 / Sealtest Polar B’ar t38 / Diet Pepsi? T44

Modine, Matthew -- Bell c13

Molinaro, Al -- Southwest Bank c6 / Mr. Big t23

Monroe, Bill -- Screwball game c25

Monroe, Earl "the Pearl" -- Jordache c5

Monroe, Marilyn -- Union Oil c28

Montalban, Ricardo -- Chrysler c1 / Chrysler Cordoba c64 / Chrysler New Yorker t21

Montana, Joe -- Schick c20 / Diet Pepsi t15 / Draft Registration PSA t28 / Schick t47

Montgomery, Elizabeth -- see Bewitched

Moore, Mary Tyler -- Hotpoint (as Happy Hotpoint), 2 ads, c24 / Juvenile Diabetes Foundation PSA t2 / JDF PSA VO t9 / JDF PSA t13 / JDF t40

Moranis, Rick -- Pizza Hut (as Bob McKenzie, w Dave Thomas) t59

Moreno, Rita – The Odd Couple B’way t20 / Pizza Hut t29

Morgan, Harry -- Gaines Complete c22 / Continental American Life Insurance t31

Morita, Akio (Sony head) – American Express Card t20 / AmEx, long t51

Morita, Pat – Pizza Hut t44

Morris, Mercury – Cocaine PSA t28

Morrissey, Bob – Promises, Promises t24

Morrow, Cloyce – Duster Plus t19

Morrow, Liza – Lady Stetson t6 / Vaseline Lip Therapy t41

Morrow, Rob – Sports Illustrated Xmas t6 / Sports Illustrated t31

Morse, Robert -- Pringles c4, t33

Moschitta, John -- Federal Express c12 / Disney travel t16 / Olympus Quick Shooter t65

Moses, Liz (Lisa from 3-2-1 Contact) -- Massengill Douche t61 / Clorox Bleach t65

Mouskouri, Nana – “Return to Romance” LP t7

Mr. Bill -- Pringles '86 t2 / Burger King t17

Mr. T – Burger King Whopper t38 / New York Fair Housing Task Force PSA t42

Mull, Martin – Pizza Hut t39 / Pizza Hut Xmas t51 / Diet Coke t58

Muni, Scott -- WNEW "Conversation with Yoko" c6 / WNEW 1983 Calendar c9 [NYC radio guy.]

Muppets -- Polaroid 6 / National Wildlife Federation PSA, mult ads c16 / NWF PSA t25 / Coronet (with Rosemary Clooney) ’85 t57

Murphy, Dale (Atlanta Brave) – Sporting News t29

Nabors, Jim -- "Heart-Touching Magic of... " LP sg3 [So seventies it hurts. Especially since it was the early 80's.]

Namath, Joe -- Great Adventure c5 / Flash game c8 / St. Mary's linen c21 / St. Mary's linen (same) c23 / USA Today (with wife Debra) t13

Narz, Jack -- Fixodent c22 / see Captain Video

Naughton, David -- Dr Pepper, mult ads c4 / DP c6 / DP c7 / DP c11 / DP sg6

Nelson: Ozzie, Harriet, Ricky, David -- Ricky, Listerine toothpaste c24 / see also Adventures of...

Nelson, Jimmy (and Farfel the Dog) -- Nestle (old clips) t2

New Jersey Saints (Lacrosse) -- 2/87 c17

New York Giants Defense -- Pepsi Lite c8

Newlin, Mike -- NYC Anti-graffiti PSA c6

Newman, Barry -- Budget Rent-a-Car c12

Newman, Fred – Breyer’s Peach t20 / Breyer’s t48

Newman, Randy -- Nike c12 [Singing "I Love L.A."] / Nutrasweet VO t16

Newman, William -- Hebrew National Kosher Beef Franks (as Uncle Sam) t61

Newmar, Julie -- Vicks c22

Newsome, Tommy -- Diet Coke t29

Newton, Connie -- Milky Way c9

Newton, Juice -- Pringles '86 t2

Nicklaus, Jack -- Coke c4

Nicks, Stevie -- MTV c6

Nielsen, Leslie -- Ford VO c11 / Ford c11 / Whirlpool VO c61

Nimoy, Leonard -- Bell Labs VO, mult ads c13 / Shearson VO c20 / NJ Bell t48 / Sharp Portables (VO) t50 / NJ Bell, telescope t51 / New Jersey Bell t60

Nixon, Norm -- US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7

Nixon, Richard -- Nixon Now! '72 c24

Nixon, Willard (Red Sox) -- Camel c22

Noone, Kathleen -- Maytag? t58

Norris, Christopher – Breyer’s Light t13

North, Alan -- Brim t61

Nye, Louis -- Cool Whip c22 / Consumer Info Catalog (Pueblo) t36

O'Connell, Jerry -- Oreo c16 / Duncan Hines? c20 / Ritz Bits t8 / RB t13 / DH t16 / JEMS Emergency First Aid (choking!) t30

O'Connor, Donald -- Absorbine Jr. c11

O’Donnell, Chris – Sears t16

Oerter, Al (Olympian) – Campbell’s Chunky Soup t49 / same t52

Olsen, Merlin -- FTD Christmas t4 / FTD Easter t5 / FTD Xmas t9 / FTD soup bowl t16

Olson, Susan -- Sindy doll c1

O'Hara, Catherine -- Dristan c9

O'Neal, Patrick -- KOST-FM c2 / New York Post c19 / EAZY 101 t54

O’Neill, Jennifer – Cover Girl t16 / CG t19 / CG t34

Orbison, Roy -- Sasson c7

Orlando, Tony – Labor Day Telethon t23

O'Ross, Ed -- Schaefer c7

O'Rourke, Heather -- Rainbow Brite c30

Osmond, Donny and Marie -- Hawaiian Punch c3 / HP '82 c14

Osmond, Ken -- McDonald’s (as Eddie Haskell) t9

Osmond, Virl – NJ Bureau of Fire Safety, deaf safety PSA t28

Page, Janis -- "Alone Together" play c19 / same t20

Palmer, Arnold -- Hertz c17 / Hertz t34

Palmer, Bud -- FL OJ, mult ads  c21

Palmer, Jim -- Flash game c8

Pankin, Stuart -- Crocker Banks c7 / OK Cable c19, t29 / Vivid t21

Papp, Joseph – A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Pardo, Don – Ty-D-Bol (animation, VO) t51 / TV Guide (VO) t56

Parker Jr., Ray -- US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7 / Diet Coke t15 / DC t50

Parker, Sarah Jessica -- Ramblin' Root Beer [As Little Orphan Annie.]  c6

Parseghian, Ara -- Ford '73 c11

Paterno, Joe -- Pennsylvania energy PSA t62

Paul, Richard -- Wendy's c12 / Lawry’s t46

Peale, Dr. Norman Vincent – Guideposts t27

Pearl, Minnie -- Spic and Span sg11

Pearson, Drew (Dallas Cowboy) – Students Against Drunk Driving PSA t11 / SADD PSA (same?) t67

Peck, Gregory – I Love New York t38

Pele -- Pepsi 14 / Pepsi c28

Peller, Clara -- Wendy's c12 / Wendy’s (driving) t21 / Prego Plus (finding the beef) t25 / Wendy’s t43

Peluce, Meeno -- Burnin' Key Cars c2 / Tiffles Chips c9

Pendergrass, Teddy -- Celebrity Jeans c6

Pendleton, Austin -- Caravelle candy c25 / Doubles, Ritz Theatre t65

Pennington, Marla – Quaker Instant Oats t39

Perdue, Frank -- Perdue Chicken [Duh.] c12 / c17 / t2 / t12 / One with FP in shower, tux, with many babes, another with guy in Perdue mask, t18 / t20 / mask t21 / fat lab t30 / Game Hens t63 / t66

Perry, William “Refrigerator” – Nutrasweet (w/ daughter) t16 / Kraft Macaroni and Cheese t29 / McDonald’s McDLT t43

Peters, Bernadette – “Song and Dance” (Broadway) t28

Petty, Richard – National Safety Council seatbelt PSA t7

Picasso, Paloma – American Express t45

Pierce, Billy (White Sox) -- Camel c22

Pinchot, Bronson – Maxwell House t27

Pintauro, Danny -- Snoopy Playmate c1 / Pillsbury Pie Crust ’83 t55

Piscopo, Joe -- Miller Lite [as "Bruce Piscopo," really bad Bruce Lee take-off] '87 t5

Pitt, Brad -- Mountain Dew t5

Pittsburgh Penguins -- Jug Night '82 c10

Pittsburgh Steelers -- Uniroyal Tires c63

Plato, Dana -- Luv-It clothes c2 / Noxzema c8 / Medic-Alert Bracelet PSA c9

Platters -- Schlitz Malt Liquor c12 / Red Lobster t16, t28

Plimpton, George -- Intellivision '80c 4 / Pop Secret t31

Pointer Sisters – WPIX-FM t25

The Police -- MTV t66

Porizkova, Paulina -- Revlon? c19 / Diet Sprite t17

Porter, Alisan -- Jell-O t67

Poston, Tom -- Tomy Pocket Cars c2

Powell, Jane – Cleopatra’s Secret t55

Powers, Stephanie – Cover Girl t34/ London Fog outerwear t54

Preservation Hall Jazz Band – Zenith t15

Presley, Priscilla -- Gordon's Jewelers t4 / GJ Xmas t18 / Quencher t24 / Crystal Light (karate) t46

Price, Leontyne -- United Negro College Fund c19 [Bad!] / also t17

Price, Vincent -- No Jelly candy bar c25 / Tilex t4 / Real Dairy Cottage Cheese t15 / Citibank (with wife) t17 / Time-Life Books “Enchanted World” t22 / Tilex t24 / Gaviscon VO t25, t28 / Enchanted World Books VO t30

Priest, Pat -- Weight Loss Clinics c3

Prince, Faith -- NyQuil t2 / PA and NJ HMO t46

Principal, Victoria -- Holiday Spa c5 / Jhirmack Hair Spray sg12 / Jhirmack Lumisilk t17 / Jhirmack t44 / Jhirmack Conditioner t45 / Arthritis Foundation PSA t46

Pringle, Joan - Bold 3 t53

Pulliam, Keshia Knight -- Disney World c17 / Pepsi c28 / Del Monte t38

Purcell, Sarah -- Fayva c19 / Fayva t33 / Chevrolet t36 / Fayva t42 / Fayva t58

Questel, Mae -- Scottowels c1 / Scottowels, 2 ads c57 [As Aunt Bluebell. I also have her as the voice of Matty Mattel.]

Quick, Mike (Philadelphia Eagle) – Big Brothers and Sisters PSA t7 / PAD “Philadelphia Pro Athletes Against Drunk Driving” t30

Quinn, Anthony – Zorba t24 / same, diff. chyron t42

Radin, Roy -- Bally's c10 [Look him up. I dare you.]

Ralph, Sheryl Lee -- Sprint c20 / same t15

Ramos, Alex -- NYC Anti-graffiti PSA c6

Randall, Tony -- UNICEF PSA c19 / Medic-Alert Bracelets PSA t7 / Variety Children’s Charity PSA t11 / Night of 100 Stars II t12 / Night of 100 Stars II t24 / Easy Off t25 / Easy Off t38 / NYC Water Conservation PSA t52, also t57 / Easy Off (in tux) t56 / Minolta TCW-1 (w/ George "The Animal" Steele) t64

Randolph, Jimmy -- Albert Merrill School c1 / AMS, robots t12 / AMS t21 / AMS t24

Rapp, Joel -- Big Apple Minute (Clinton Community Garden) c18

Rashad, Phylicia -- Disney World c17

Rawls, Lou – UNCF Parade of Stars telethon VO t26

Rawls, Sarah ("Down-Home Chef") -- Accent '82 c8 / Accent '81 sg7 / Accent t42

Ray, Gene Anthony -- NYC Anti-graffiti PSA c6 / US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7 / Diet Coke t22

Reagan, Ronald -- "Reagan Reports" 10/12/80 (4m.) c3 / For President c8 / "Morning in America" c12 / United Negro College Fund PSA t11 / Reagan-Bush ’84 t21 / Peace Corps Africa (with PC Director Loret Miller Ruppe) t31 / Reagan-Bush ’84 t33

Reagan Jr., Ronald – American Express t47

Redbone, Leon – Kodak VO t16

Redding, Jheri (“cosmetic chemist”) – Nexxus t22 / Nexxus t33 / Nexxus t34

Redgrave, Lynn -- Weight Watchers Yogurt t5 / Same t8 / WW pizza t16 / WW t19 / WW apple pie t19 / WW t24 / WW t47

Reece, Beasley (“Pro Defensive Back”) – Ivory t43

Reed, Richard (author) – American Heritage Magazine t56

Reese, Mason -- Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins c2

Reeves, Dan (Broncos coach) -- Dry Idea t2

Regan, Edward V. (NYS Comptroller) – Unclaimed Funds PSA t52

Regina -- McGruff PSA c16

Reilly, Charles Nelson -- Excedrin c55 [Sans toupee.] / Kibbles and Chunks t20

Remini, Leah – Mandee t42 / same t43

Renee and Renato -- Return to Romance LP t66

Resin, Dan -- MTV t58

Retton, Mary Lou – Vidal Sassoon (with other 1984 Olympians) t37 / Wheaties t38 / Energizer Batteries t50

Revering, Dave (Yankee) -- Spinal Cord PSA c3

Reynolds, Jack “Hacksaw” (49ers) – Miller ’85 t15 / / Amoco Gas t19

Reynolds, Joey – WFIL-AM 56 t26

Ribeiro, Alfonso – The Tap Dance Kid t15 / Pepsi t36

Rich, Buddy -- Synsonics Drums c5

Richie, Lionel -- Pepsi c12 / MTV c20 / Pepsi, mult, one with Urkel t15 / Pepsi t57

Riggs, Bobby -- Power Tennis c25

Riley, Gary -- Combos t66

Riley, Jack -- Honda Civic c14 / NCR t37 / Country Crock (VO) t56

Riley Jr., Mayor Joseph – Charleston Disaster Relief Hotline (Hurricane Hugo) t7

Ringwald, Molly -- Raisins c10

Riperton, Minnie -- American Cancer Society c5

Rist, Robbie -- Cheetos '81 c9

Rivera, Chita --  I Love NY Vacations t23

Rivers, Joan – MCI t7 / MCI mult (incl lookalikes, spoofing AT&T ad) t20 / MCI t26 / MCI t37 / MCI in office t51 / MCI t53

Rizzuto, Phil -- Money Store c14 / MS Xmas c17 / MS, mult ads c19 / MS c68 / MS mult, one as Santa t9 / MS mult t10 / MS t14 / MS t25 / MS w/ Santa t26 / MS t28 / MS t54

Robards Jr., Jason -- Commercial Credit Control Data, mult ads  c11 / National Council on Alcoholism PSA c19 / American Express t40

Roberts, Doris -- Fasteeth? c23

Roberts, Pernell -- Horizon (as "Simon Stone") c21 / Ecotrin t2 / Ecotrin t5 / Folonari Soave t20 / National Kidney Foundation diabetes PSA t54

Roberts, Robin (Phillies) -- FL OJ c21

Roberts, Tony -- US News and World Report t62 / Doubles, Ritz Theatre t65

Robertson, Cliff – AT&T t6 / AT&T t16 / AT&T (doubles ad, spoofed by Joan Rivers) t18 / AT&T mult t21 / AT&T t26 / AT&T mult t29 / ATT t44 / AT&T fun house mirrors t51 / AT&T t55

Robertson, Oscar -- Pepsi c28

Robinson, Chris – Vick’s (“I’m not a doctor…”) t45

Robinson, Edward G. -- Toastem c25

Robinson, Joey (Phil. Eagle) – “Let’s Bowl for Kids” PSA t46

Roche, Eugene -- Ajax c9 / Bird's Eye pudding c22

Rockettes (Radio City Music Hall) – L’eggs ’84 t34

Rodgers, Bill (runner) -- New Jersey Marathon '85 t60

Rogers, Kenny -- Dole t2 / VH-1 t14 / HBO t19 / Golden Nugget (w wife and Steve Wynn) t59 / Roy Rogers ("Slow Down" jingle) t65

Rogers, Roy -- Grape-Nuts c25 / Seven Seas dressings c57 / Roy Rogers t44 / RR t47

Rolle, Esther -- Blue Bonnet c2

Roman, Freddie – Bonds VO t28

Romero, Cesar -- Airports VO c32

Rooney, Mickey -- Dr Pepper sg6

Rooney, “Looney” Skip – WNEW Midday News promo t49

Rose, Pete -- Grecian Formula '82 c10 / Kool Aid c16 / same Kool Aid c17 / Nestle Crunch t2

Rossellini, Isabella – Lancome t20

Rossi, Carlo – Rossi Wines (with son Jim) t38

Rossi, Steve -- New York State Chiropractic Association PSA t33

Roth, J.D. -- Nestle Crunch c7 / Oxydol t37 / Ocean Spray? T38

Rubik, Erno -- Rubik's Magic Puzzle '86 c18 [Dracula appears in this. I think the joke is that they have the same accent.]

Rubin, Jennifer – Whitney’s Yogurt? T37 / Cherokee t42

Rudner, Rita – Congestac t38

Ruprecht, David -- Green Spot drinks c6 / A1 Steak Sauce c7 / McDonald's c11

Russell, Jane – Playtex 18 Hour Bra t18

Russell, Mark – I Love NY PSA t45

Russo, Rene -- Aziza Mascara? sg7 / Entre Nous Perfume Imitations t31 / Avon ’84 t36

Rutherford III, Johnny (race driver) --Oldsmobile t2 [With son, below.]

Rutherford IV, Johnny -- Olds t2

Ryan, Fran -- Hungry Jack Biscuits c61 / Hefty Cinch Sak t20

Ryan, Meg -- Aim '81 c9

Sadler, Sgt. Barry – Cristy Lane’s “One Day at a Time” book and LP t15

Sadler, William – Anacin t38

Saget, Bob – Atomic Tires t18 / AT t26 / AT t54

Saint James, Susan -- TV Guide t38

Sales, Soupy -- WNBC, job opening after Howard fired (with Imus) t51

Saluga, Bill (see Johnson, Ray Jay)

Samms, Emma -- TV Guide t58

San Diego Chicken – FTD “Chicken Soup Bowl Bouquet” t16 / Pogo-Bal t30

Sanders, "Colonel" Harland -- Kentucky Fried Chicken c12 / KFC c13

Sara, Mia -- Canon c9

Sarandon, Susan -- Yardley c22 / A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Sassoon, Vidal – Colorific t48

Savage, Brad -- Hostess c10 / McDonald's ('74?) c35 / Amtrak t43

Savage, Fred -- Pac-Man Vitamins c9 / Fruit Roll Ups c18 / Cocoa Krispies t5 / Equal t66

Savage, Randy -- Rubik's Magic Puzzle '86 c18

Savalas, George -- Blue Bonnet c2

Savalas, Telly -- Boys' Club c17 / Ford c20 / New York Newsday t15 / Players’ Club t24, t30 / Harrah’s (w/ wife?) t44 / Players’ Club t45 / Players’ Club t54

Scarpelli, Glenn – Prego t16

Schaefer, Laura J. (engineer) – Ford t40

Schell, Ronnie -- Speed Tracker Baseball c16 / Great Moves game c25

Schenkel, Chris -- Owens-Illinois glass bottles c4

Schirra, Wally (Apollo 7 Commander) – Actifed t26 / Actifed t34 / A t40 / A t44 / A t51 / A t54

Schmidt, Mike – Holiday Fitness and Racquet Club in Willow Grove t7 / PAD “Philadelphia Pro Athletes Against Drunk Driving” t30 / Tri-State Chevy t39 / Chrysler t63

Schramm, Tex (Dallas Cowboys President) -- EEOC Job Discrimination PSA t47

Schreiber, Avery -- Squiibb c22 / Squibb  c23

Schwartz, Scott -- Oh What a Mountain game c4 / Macy's "Billy the Kid" clothes c4 / Alligator game c9 / Chapstick c9 / Yoo-Hoo c12

Scoggins, Tracy – Phisoderm t44

Scott, Barbara Ann (skater) -- Florida Orange Juice c24

Scott, Willard -- USA Today t19 / Lipton t29 / Diet Coke t40 / Princess Furniture t54

Seagren, Bob -- 3M Business Products Centers c23

Seaver, Tom -- Sporting News c19 / Screwball game c25 / Amoco t52

Selleca, Connie -- Tickle c59

Selleck, Tom -- Chaz c3 / same c5

Septien, Rafael (Dallas Cowboys kicker) – EEOC Job Discrimination PSA t47

Serendipity Singers -- White Castle '79 c7 [Who? Beats me, but of the three guys and three gals in this group, I'm gonna say four of them were stoned during filming.] / Best Western t27

Sergeant Slaughter -- G.I Joe contest c17

Seymour, Jane – Le Jardin de Max Factor perfume t9

Sgt. Slaughter -- Diet Coke t22

Shalit, Gene -- Kodak Disc Camera c8 / Stage Two Trivia game t20

Shannon – Walk America (“courtesy Mirage Records”)

Shannon, Scott (DJ) -- Z-100 Disney contest t66

Shatner, William – Tourette’s Syndrome PSA (dressed as T.J. Hooker) t10

Shaud, Grant -- Macy's c17

Shearing, George – WNEW-am t22

Sheedy, Ally -- Tic Tac c4 / Clearasil c24

Sheen, Martin – AT&T (Watson computer) VO t38 / Pepsi (vo) t65 / Diet Pepsi (vo) t67

Sheffer,  Craig -- Crush c7

Shelton, Deborah -- WKHK-FM c9 / TV Guide t22

Shepherd, Cybill -- Montclair Water c9 / Loreal t5

Sheridan, Liz -- Kraft Real Mayonaisse t49

Sheridan, Nicolette – Sugar-Free Jell-O t39 / No Nonsense Pantyhose t40 / NNP t47

Sheridan, Rondell -- AT&T t5

Shields, Brooke – Jack LaLanne t20 / Holiday Spa t30 / Anti-drug PSA (Phoenix House) t64

Shields (Robert) and Yarnell (Lorene) -- WRFM-FM c10

Shore, Dinah – Holly Farms Roaster t24 / Holly Farms t29 / HF mult t31

Shortridge, Stephen -- Certs sg12 / Head & Shoulders t10 / Mitsubishi t30 / Speed Stick t41

Shue, Elisabeth -- Oxywash c9

Shula, Don – Veteran’s Life Plan Card t15

Shull, Richard B. -- Long John Silver '77 c4 / Vlasic Dills t1

Siegel, Mo – Celestial Seasonings t43

Sikes, Cynthia – One-a-Day t24

Sikking, James B. -- Firestone c11 / Suicide Intervention PSA t49

Silk, Van -- NYC Crack PSA c17 / different t28

Silva, Carol – Kitchen Beautiful t48

Silver, Ron -- Scottowels c57

Silverman, Jonathan -- Mad Magazine Game? '79 c8

Silvers, Phil -- Camel c22

Simmons, Richard -- Anatomy Asylum c9

Simpson, O.J. -- Treesweet OJ c2 / Hertz c17 / Boys' Club c18 / Made in the USA t22 / Hertz t23 / Hertz t34 / Hertz t39 / Ginsu Knives [Gotcha.]

Sinatra, Frank -- Chrysler Imperial c8 / Chrysler c12 / I Love New York (with cast of “Cats”) t38

Sinclair, Jon (Olympic runner) – Z-Bec Vitamins t12

Singer, Lori -- US Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement “Vote with a Friend” PSA t7

Slater,  Helen -- Raisin Bran sg1 / DoT seat belt PSA (as Supergirl) t64

Slattery, John – Sports Illustrated t56

Slattery, Richard X. -- Union 76 Gas (as Murph) Christmas c9

Smith, Bubba -- Hertz t34 / The Book t55

Smith, Buffalo Bob -- see Howdy Doody Show

Smith, Hal -- Mattel Electronics '80 c4 [Otis the Drunk as Santa!] / Kodak t29

Smith, Howard K. – “Let’s Work Together” PSA t47

Smith, Jaclyn – Jack LaLanne t10 / Star Magazine t16 / Max Factor t33 / Star (same?) t43

Smith, Kathy -- Gillette t2 [Now that I think of it, this might be a still shot, not an appearance.]

Smith, Ozzie -- Vess soda c6

Smith, Shawnee -- McDonald's? c2

Smith, Shelley -- Ban c12 / Ban (same?) c64

Smith, Will -- Fresh Prince Hotline c69 / same t2

Smothers Brothers – Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza t6

Smythe, Patti – Frank’s Soda t22

“Sneed Brothers” – Star Chrysler Plymouth t8

Snipes, Wesley – Sony Handicam, xmas t50

Snow, Phoebe -- Pillsbury cake VO c17

Sokol, Marilyn -- NY Lottery c17 / WCBS America promo (as Betsy Ross) t51

Soles, P.J. -- Polaroid Polavision c11 / Pampers c21

Somers, Suzanne -- Ace Hardware '81 c6 / Ace Christmas '80 c7

Sparks, Dana -- Secret t2 / New Coke t65

Sperling, Sy – Hair Club for Men t10 / HCM t48

Spielberg, David -- NCR t37

Spillane, Mickey – Lite (“Case of the Missing Case”) ’85 t

St. John, Jill -- Ocean Spray t13

Stang, Arnold -- Nerfles? VO c17 / Honey Nut Cheerios? c17 / Crest VO c22 / Wacky Wheel VO c25

Stanley, Florence -- Honda '87 c18 / Dunkin’ Donuts t43

Stapleton, Jean -- Gain c22

Starr, Mike – Canoe by Dana cologne t51

Starr, Sally (Philly-area kiddie-show host) – PA Home Health Services t17

Staubach, Roger -- Rolaids c9

Steel, Amy – Bounty t35 / Dimension Shampoo t36

Steele, George "The Animal" -- Minolta TCW-1 (w/ Tony Randall) t64

Steinbrenner, George -- Yankee Franks c7 / Lite c14 / Pepto Bismol c21

Stern, Howard -- WNBC (w/ Imus) c20 [Okay, he's not really in it. His poster is defaced by passersby. As a fan I had to include it.]

Stevenson, McLean -- Dolly Madison c13

Stewart, Jackie – Ford Mustang '79 c11 / Ford concept cars, Taurus t50 / Ford Mustang t57

Stewart, James -- Firestone c11 / American Cancer Society ("The Shootist" scene) c23

Stiers, David Ogden – California Prunes t38

Stiles, Ryan – Chrysler  t2

Stiller (Jerry) & Meara (Anne) – United Jewish Appeal Federation ’85 telethon t14

Storch, Larry -- NY Daily News t12 / Daily News t25

Strangis, Judy -- Barbie Star Traveler c4 / same c26 / same c3 [She played Dynagirl to Diedre Hall's Electra-Woman. But you knew that.]

Strawberry, Darryl (NY Mets) -- Milk c18 / NYC Summer Jobs ’85 PSA t45

Strong, Brenda – Always Plus Maxi Pads t8

Struthers, Sally -- Made in the USA t18 / The Odd Couple B’way t20 / Made in the USA t44

Sullivan, Susan -- Tylenol t1 / Tylenol t2 / T t17 / T t41

Summer, Donna -- The Book t55

Summerall, Pat – True Value paint t49

Sumners, Rosalyn – Disney’s World on Ice t35

Sure, Al B. -- 900 Hotline c69

Sussman, Todd – Cheerios t11 / Palmolive t44 / Match Light charcoal t55

Swayze, John  Cameron -- Squibb Vigran c23

Swayze, Patrick -- Burger King c14

Sweeney, D.B. – US Army t39

Swit, Loretta – Mastercard t36

Syms, Sy – Sym’s t38

Tambor, Jeffrey -- Breakstone's c1

Tanner, Chuck (Pirates) -- Fireworks Night '83 c9

Tayback, Vic -- Animals PSA c8

Taylor, Holland -- America's Banks c11

Taylor, Lawrence -- Draft Registration PSA t28

Taylor, Meschach – Kleenex t49

Taylor, Rip – Juvenile Diabetes Telethon (wig under wig!) t46

Taylor, Robert -- Maxwell House c21

Teefy, Maureen -- McDonald's sg11

Temple, Renny – Bud Light t39 / Cinnamon Toast Crunch t55 [Not to be confused with Ray Buktenica.]

Tewes, Lauren -- TV Guide t64

Theus, Reggie -- Anti-smoking PSA t48

Thomas, Clarence (pre-SCOTUS) -- EEO PSA t67

Thomas, Danny – Smoker’s Polident t21 / American Patriot Health Insurance t24 / Union Fidelity Life Insurance t41 / see Make Room For Daddy

Thomas, Dave -- Cadbury c3 / Pizza Hut (as Doug McKenzie, w Rick Moranis) t59
[From SCTV, not Wendy's.]

Thomas, David Clayton -- RC Cola VO c17 / Good Seasons VO t12 / GS VO diff t13

Thomas, Henry -- Diet Coke t40

Thomas, Isaiah – Anti-smoking PSA t48

Thomas, Jay -- Time-Life Books c19

Thomas, Kurt (gymnast) – Campbell’s Chunky Soup t51

Thomas, Richard – Minute Maid (w/ family) t17

Thompson, John (Georgetown Hoyas head coach) – Selective Service PSA t52

Thornburgh, Gov. Dick -- PA Lottery

Three Stooges -- Simoniz c28

Tiegs, Cheryl -- Sears c5 / Scatter Perm c55

Tobolowsky, Stephen -- Federal Express c6

Toski, Bob (golfer) -- Dash c22

Townshend, Pete -- MTV c6

Travalena, Fred -- CBN line-up (as Jack Benny and George Burns), two ads t2

Travis, Nancy – Roy Rogers t44 / same t46

Trevino, Lee – Amoco Ultimate t47

Trueman, Freddie (cricketer) – Lite t22

Tucci, Michael -- Sizzler t65

Tuiasosopo, Manu (San Francisco 49er) -- McDonald's "Hats Off" t49

Tune, Tommy -- American Lung  Association PSA c17 / My One and Only c20

Tupper, Loretta – North Shore Animal League t42

Turner, Janine – Renuzit Roommate ’87 t6

Turner, Ted -- Citibank t66

Twiggy -- American Lung  Association PSA c17 / My One and Only c20

Tyler, Willie (& Lester) -- Toyota c1 / McDonald’s t38 / McDonald's (with girlfriend dummy Ophelia) t63

Uecker, Bob -- Miller Lite t60

Urseth, Bonnie -- Wrigley's Gum c9

Vaccaro, Brenda – Playtex Tampons t19

Vale, Michael -- Breakstone's (as Sam Breakstone) c1 / Breakstone's c2  / Dunkin' Donuts c12 / Consumer Catalog PSA c61 / DD t24 / DD croissants t30 / DD t33 / DD t40 / DD t42 / DD t43 / DD t51 / Black Flag Roach Motel t62

Valentine, Bobby (NY Mets) -- Sports Illustrated c17 / Daytop Anti-drug PSA t30

Valery, Dana -- Lenny's Clam Bar c10

Van Ark, Joan -- Harvey's c21

Vance, Vivian -- Maxwell House (as Maxine) c11 / MH c21

Vanderbilt, Gloria -- GV belts c5 / Kids' Wear c8

Vandis, Tito -- Ivory Snow c21

Van Dyke, Dick -- Kodak c3 / Busy Puppets c5 / National Fire Protection Association PSA (as The Great Vandini) / Hunt’s BBQ Sauce t30 / NFPA PSA (as “The Detector” t31 / Hunt's Barbecue Sauce t63

 Van Lidth, Erland --  United? t60

Van Patten, Dick – Olds Delta 88 (with sons and wife) t18 / Legend Pharmacies t23 / Thermal-Gard Windows mult t46 / Legend t52 / Thermal-Gard Windows t53 / TG t54

Varney, Jim (as Ernest) -- Braum's c6 / Cream O'Weber Hi-Land milk c7 / Water Safety PSA, low audio t8 [Plus a ton of ads that are included on a cheapo Ernest DVD box set I own.] /

Vereen, Ben – “Grind” (B’way) t22

Vermeil, Dick (Philadelphia Eagles coach) – Cadillac t46

Vigoda, Abe -- Social Security PSA t5 / The Book t55

Vigran, Herb -- Trivial Pursuit t65

Vila, Bob – Time-Life Home Repair Books t27

Villard, Tom – 7 Up t9

Villechaize, Herve -- Blue Bonnet c2 [Yes, wearing the bonnet.]

Villella, Edward - Philadelphia Dance Alliance t53

Vinovich, Steve - Organ Donor PSA t53

Viscuso,Sal – Kool Aid t20

Volz, Nedra -- Jack in the Box c12

Von Furstenburg, Diane -- DVF c2

Von Oy, Jenna -- Care Bears underwear? c16 / National Dairy Board t17 / Bounce t18 / Terminix t30 / Sugar Free Kool Aid t31 / Triaminic t44 / Pan Am (official airline of Cabbage Patch Kids!) t53

Von Sydow, Max -- Mueslix VO? t5 [Sure sounds like him.]

Vranes, Danny (“basketball player?”) – Ivory Soap t7, same t21

Wagner, Lindsay – Nescafe t12 /Infant Health PSA (short) t58

Walken, Christopher -- A Chorus Line (milestone celebration) t36

Walker, Herschell -- train safety "Operation Lifesaver" PSA t64

Walker, Kim – Love’s Baby Soft t50

Walker, Nancy -- Bounty (as Rosie), mult ads c12 / Bounty for Microwaves t7 / B t17 / B t22 / B t35 / B (wrestler) t44 / B t53 / Bounty Microwave t59

Walker, Wesley -- Meals on Wheels PSA c14

Wallace, George -- Vietnam Message c24

Walsh, J.T. – Lowenbrau t15

Walters, Laurie – Cheerios t11 / Secret t55

Ward, Lyman -- Skinny Dip cologne c56[Ferris Bueller's dad.]

Ward, Sela -- Camay c12 / Maybelline '79 sg2 / same Mayb. sg3 / same sg5

Warfield, Marsha -- Burger King '88 t5

Warhol, Andy -- Diet Coke t22

Warner, Julie -- Alpo t2

Warner, Malcolm Jamal -- PTA PSA c17 / Disney World c17

Washington, Denzel – Governor Cuomo’s Nutrition Education PSA t20

Washington Jr., Grover - Foster Homes for Retarded Adults PSA t53

Watkins, Linda -- Star magazine t64 / Star t66 / Star t67 / ShopRite t67

Watson, Tom (golfer) -- E.F. Hutton c22 / Golf Digest t10 / “Official Rules of Golf” video t47

Watson, Vernee -- Tonka c14 / Dawn c22 / Cheer t1 / Wesson t17 / Del Monte t38

Wayans, Keenan Ivory – Kentucky Fried Chicken ’84 t40

Wayne, John -- American Cancer Society (scene from "The Shootist") c23

Wayne, Patrick -- Marathon candy, two ads c25

Weaver, Fritz -- Smithsonian c20

Wedgwood, Lord Piers – American Express t50

Weitz, Bruce -- Hanes t5 / PTA Drunk Driving PSA t22 / Burger King Whopper t61

Welch, Charles C. – Pepperidge Farm cookies t54

[Yep, he’s that old guy who was the PF pitchman starting in ’77.]

Welch, Raquel -- Vic Tanny Spa c5 / Crystal Light t2

Welch, Tahnee – Diet Coke t29

Welles, Orson -- Dark Tower game c5 / NYNEX car phones VO? T12

Wences, Senor -- Parkay (Johnny) c65 / Rolf’s Gift Center (Johnny and Pedro) t13 [Yes, he does have a real name. Like you know it.]

Wendt, George -- Meister Brau '87 t59

Westheimer, Dr. Ruth -- OK Cable c19, t29 / LifeStyles condoms t56 / same? t62

Wheeler, John -- National t64

White, Betty -- Spray n' Wash, mult ads c11

White, Jaleel – Pepsi t15 / Kraft Macaroni and Cheese t43

White, Jesse – Maytag t50 / M t58

Widdoes, James (Jamie) -- Olds Cutlass '79 c11 / Planter’s Cheez Balls t41 / 4 Way Nasal Spray t52

Wilcox, Larry -- Sidekicks candy c25

Wilder, Yvonne -- US Telecom t21, t26

Williams, Barry -- Great Moves game c25

Williams, Billy Dee – Jovan Musk t50 / Jovan (with Morgan Fairchild) t52

Williams, Gunther Gebel -- American Express c11 / same c13

Williams, Willie B. -- Genovese c6 / Genovese t21 / G t36 / G t37 / WNEW-AM 1130 (VO)[NYC radio guy]

Willis, Bruce -- Seagram's Wine Coolers t1 / Seagram's t5 [Pairs well with "The Return of Bruno." Preferably in an incinerator.] / Levi’s 501 (brief) t16 / Seagram’s t29 / Levi’s 501 t38 / Seagram’s Golden t44

Wilson, Dick (Mr. Whipple, Charmin) -- c4 / scouts c5 / Old Whipple c6 / Whipple's double c6 / old Whipple (d) c7 / Robbie the Robot c7 / c10 / c13 /  new cashier c22 / spinsters c22 / c22 / lifeguard c22 / mirror c22 / megaphone c22 / shrink c22 / cop c22 / nephew Orville c22 / "Windmill Whipple" c23 / his twin Elmer c24 / t21 / mult t37 / hidden from real housewife Jeanne Kilduff t45 / t61

Wilson, Flip – Tender Vittles ’85 t25 / Colgate Flip Cap t44 / Tender Vittles t51

Wilson, Mary Louise -- Horizon c21 / Horizon (same?) c24 / The Book t23

Wilson, Rita – Scottowels t12 / Sears? T23 / Hallmark t48

Winchell, Paul -- Fisher Nuts VO c20 / Mini-Wheats c30 / Dow Bathroom Cleaner VO c57 / Raisin Bran '88 t5 / Fisher VO t43

Winfield, Dave -- NY Summer Jobs c18 / NY Daily News t12 / Sunday Daily News t25

Winslow, Michael -- Suzuki c16 / New Jersey Lottery t42[The guy from "Police Academy" making with the funny noises.]

Winter, Ed -- Harvey's c21

Wonder, Stevie – Kodak Batteries VO t9 / USDOT drunk driving PSA t63

Woodruff, Largo -- Cadbury Eggs c7 / same c12 [I remember her from "The Funhouse" and "Bill." You remember her from nothing.]

Wright, Max – AT&T t37

Wyatt, Jane -- Jubilee c21 / Jubilee (same?) c22

Wyndham, Victoria -- Soap Opera Digest t62

Wynn, Steve -- Golden Nugget (w Kenny Rogers and wife) t59

Wyss, Amanda -- The Broadway c5

[From "Fast Times at Ridgemont High?" "Nightmare on Elm Street?" Yeesh, I'm not even sure I remember anymore.]

Yankovic, Weird Al -- Diet Coke t40

Yeager, Chuck -- GM, mult ads c13 / AC Delco t49

Yepremian, Garo -- Right Guard c59

York, Dick -- see Bewitched

Young, Hela -- NJ Lottery t66

Young, Robert -- Sanka c8 / Sanka, mult ads c11

Youngfellow, Barrie -- Gainesburger c21 [As herself, strangely enough. She was on "It's a Living," later "Making a Living." Write that down.]

Youngman, Henny -- New York Telephone c18 / NYT t9 / Rib-it Restaurant, two ads t30 / NYT t35

Zezel, Peter (Philadelphia Flyers) -- PAD “Philadelphia Pro Athletes Against Drunk Driving” t30

Ziering, Ian -- A&W Root Beer? c7 / Duncan Hines t22