Newsday TV Book, September 22-28, 1974.

The TV Book for the fourth week of September 1974 brought Carl Kolchak into Long Island homes--more accurately, Darren McGavin waving a cross in his role as The Night Stalker.

The accompanying article was written by my one-time correspondent, the late Bill Kaufman.

In the TV Line, S.G. took a shot at Julie Kavner, comparing her unfavorably to the original Brenda Morgenstern (Liberty Williams). Also, Loudon Wainwright III joined M*A*S*H as a singing doctor, with a name familiar to Groucho fans: Captain Spaulding.

Sunday had ads for ABC and NBC. Sonny Bono's solo turn didn't last long, so perhaps ABC might have avoided using the words "has been" in the copy.

I figured it might be neat to see a random weekday of the new season, so here's Tuesday. Okay, not completely random--I chose this day's listings because they include a Gary Viskupic illustration for one of those spooky TV movies that regularly appeared on the network schedule.

Another Viskupic turns up on Friday, for the CBS airing of Bonnie and Clyde, which reviewer John Cashman urges you not to miss.

Finally, I always like to throw in the Saturday late sched, just cuz. Cashman warns night owls that they may not be able to snooze through Green Dolphin Street.

Next week: Angie Dickinson as Pepper Anderson!

Newsday TV Book, September 15-21, 1974.

 I'm back again, bearing Long Island-area television listings for the third week of September 1974. This time out, new series Born Free was featured (and Diana Muldaur got typoed) on the cover.

The TV Line column tells us lots about John Amos, and M.D. of Hewlett apparently felt compelled to explain his or her return to soap opera viewing. No one cares, M.D.

ABC submits this full-page ad for the TV premiere of Fiddler on the Roof, but for some reason it shows Sasquatch in a plaid shirt.

In an unusual quarter-turned full-pager, NBC ("Network of the NEW!") touted Marlin Perkins looking at a tall bird and Sandy Duncan with a million-dollar duck. Frankly I don't give two Falks.

In Tuesday's ABC ad, the crack of Connie Stevens' ass is not seen, but it is most certainly pondered.

Is it too much to ask that someday there be a World Wide Special titled "O.J. Simpson is Dead and Gone and Getting Roasted Tonight"?

So many questions arise from even a casual perusal of the peculiar entries on this oddly-illustrated page of car dealer ads: Why did Cohen Chrysler-Plymouth need to change its image? How chemically impaired was the person who wrote the Rodeo Ford copy? And how did anyone surmise that a drawing of a woman holding a "The End is Near" sign would entice potential Merry Oldsmobile customers?

My #1 takeaway, however, is that there should be a Marvel blockbuster about an alliance of superheroes, each named for those AMC models.

Here are some Friday listings, looks like it was a good night for fans of rampaging frogs and vermin. Gary Viskupic offers a drawing of a rat whose butt looks just like Pat Hingle.

Now I provide, just because people seem to like this sort of shit (aw hell, I guess I sort of like this sort of shit too) the full Saturday schedule. That morning, WOR channel 9 aired a nutty-sounding Japanimated film that I have zero recollection of, Jack and the Witch. Also note that WSNL 67 was now leading into the three-hour kiddie spectacular Ahab and Friends with the undoubtedly rousing Mary Kelley's Puppet Party.

Executive Hair Centers seems to posit that balding men are dead inside, and a neatly-combed Beatle wig is the recommended spiritual restorative.

Nakia was a new show, here advertised by ABC and spotlighted by Newsday with more Viskupic art.

And finally, the late night presentations, with plenty of John Cashman reviews, as always a lesson in concisely snarky film criticism. The guests appearing on Speakeasy are, as of this writing, 79, 78, 70 and 82 years old. (Unmentioned host Chip Monck is 81.)

Next week: Kolchak!

Newsday TV Book, September 8-14, 1974.

What? Another post again, so soon? Yeah, got some free time. That's one of my favorite things about autumn: the daily chores lessening as the weeks go on, gardening, watering, mowing, etc. So let's waste some more of our precious waning hours on earth with useless nostalgia!

The Newsday TV Book cover for the second week of September 1974 features eleven-year-old Jodie Foster, taking on the Oscar-winning Tatum O'Neal role for the television adaptation of Paper Moon.

In the TV Line Q&A, Long Islanders wonder about Ethel Mertz' movie career, the unlikable Larry Linville, and the many loves of Lana Turner.

Here's Sunday morning, just because I know some folks like to see what Abbott & Costello and Bowery Boys flicks were on. I was in church so I never got to watch any of them, goddamn it!
(As you can see, it didn't take.)

I mainly include the Monday night listings for the accompanying ABC ad (plus here are the rest of the week's full-page ads that were scattered throughout the guide).

If you were wishing for a Gary Viskupic rendering of Planet of the Apes, well, this is your lucky day!

Finally, the back cover, another salacious ad for Holiday Spa, with extra helpings of cheesecake!
See you next week (or possibly tomorrow, we'll see how it goes)!

Newsday TV Book, September 1-7, 1974.

Hey, how are ya? Been a while! What's new?

Oh right--the plague, the unemployment, the wildfires, businesses dying, schools all fucked up, systemic racism worsening, wanna-be Hitler Youth gaining confidence, conspiracy theorist fruit-loopiness entrenching further into the common vernacular... and looming above it all, like a chubby Chernabog summoning horrors from Balding Mountain, that corrupt, bullying, white-privilege-poster-boy smirking sack of shit in the White House doing everything he can to turn this country into his repugnant family's oligarchy by manipulating the election...

But other than that, how's by you?

Well, let me do my part to inconsequentially allay our collective woe by offering some nostalgia for a time that was unquestionably better in most ways, to make us ache for an America that is never coming back. Let's look at the first week of September, 1974, as seen through the culture of television. Watergate was in the rear-view mirror and Nixon had just resigned. Pfffffft! You call that a presidential scandal? Don't get me started!

It's the Fall Preview issue, with the Gary Viskupic cover denoting a number of lady cops in the schedule. (Click pics to enlarge.)

Before I get to the preview pages, here's that info on Rodney Allen Rippy you were wondering about.

Okay, these uploads are taking forever so I'll keep the chit-chat to a minimum. It was a big week for That's My Mama fans, Friday evening featured the Saturday morning preview shows, and as always, the John Cashman movie reviews are worth a look...

The eye-popping ads for Colonial Shoppes were typically on the back cover. This one wasn't, but since the back was a boring bank ad, here it is.

I'm hoping to do every week for this month (if my connection cooperates), so check back!