Newsday TV Book, May 26-June 1, 1974.

I was hoping to have this edition posted several days ago, but there's been non-stop feline drama at the Non-Parader household. But I don't want to bore you with our tabby troubles; I want to bore you with these forty-eight-year-old television listings!

First, on the cover, Johnny Carson is besieged by Emmy statuettes as he prepares to host the 26th Annual Emmy Awards Show. (Click pics to fix.)

As you will read in the Carol Burton-penned story, this year's broadcast was "controversial" because they introduced the "Super Emmy," a concept that lasted for precisely this year and then was abandoned because it was really, really stupid.

Dynarama! Emergency! The adorable Kerry MacLane! All these stimulating topics--and more!--enlivened the TV Line this week.

Less enthusiastic about exclamation points is reviewer John Cashman, denigrating an Elvis flick. Elsewhere on the Sunday late schedule page, Illustrator Gary Viskupic imbues an Indy car with wings o' fire (wait, no, they’re just molting) for a close-up on that day's race.

Viskupic sketches for another automotive program catering to gear-heads (Car-heads? Head-cars?) with one of his specialties, a drawing that just seems goofy at first glance, but which you find more and more unsettling as you examine it, even if you can't quite put your finger on why. Maybe it's just me.
Also: Hodgepodge Lodge.

Here's the ballot for that Emmys fiasco. If you've forgotten, Mr. and Mrs. Mark Spitz, respectively, was and was married to the Olympic champion swimmer. They were present for no reason discernible to any person outside of 1974.

The Wednesday late listings feature some great programming, as well as a Newman illustration of a guy with a ukulele on his head. Leave the surrealism to Visk, Newman.

Much like the Nixon impeachment hearings, Viskupic's twisted take on the youth-focused culture appears horrifying initially and gets worse the longer it's witnessed. If five-year-old me saw this page, he thoughtfully blocked it out for older me.

The first of a couple of Ned Levine pictures is a fishy Monty Hall, musically romping through Sea World. Burbling alongside him are Florence Henderson and Bobby Sherman, so it says, thus putting the lie to the "musical" part.

Continuing the uninspired theme of heads-as-things-other-than-heads, Levine inks Geraldo Rivera's cabeza as cradle to a then-not-vintage teléfono. Saturday evening's listings surround, in a poorly-executed scan that I cannot be bothered to redo because I need to go hand-feed a kitten with a broken leg, the mama cat managed to roll a cinder block onto it, holy shit don't even ask.

No Fright Night on WOR thanks to Geraldo's telethon, but there was a trio of doomed pilots on NBC which sound like they might be interesting to view now. Realistically, however, I'm sure they are every bit as insufferable in the present as they apparently were back then, Pat Cooper or no Pat Cooper.

1,6 Across: The most overrated man in show business, pictured

Holiday Spa continues its "When you gonna do it?" campaign, promising to "round you, make you more desirable than ever." (I'm rounding myself with the help of Little Debbie, thank you.)

On the back cover, Colonial Shoppes advertises a Memorial Day sale that would surely arouse Martha Washington herself. "Biscuit-tufted backs!" she'd swoon. George, begrudgingly along for the Sunday browsing, half-heartedly smiles, exposing his own wood parts.

That'll do it! Gotta go! I got a kitten to feed, yes indeed!

Newsday TV Book, May 19-25, 1974.

Here's another Newsday TV Book from May of 1974, after missing a week--not my fault, I just don't have it in my collection! William Conrad hits the pipe on the cover, and endures a weight reference in the title and nearly every paragraph of the accompanying story by Bill Kaufman.

The TV Line gives us the skinny on Ken Howard (Manhasset High) and Peggy Lipton (Lawrence High), and there's also a Bowling for Dollars question. BFD, indeed.

On Sunday morning, Abbott and Costello met Karloff, the Bowery Boys found a baby, and the Stanley Cup may or may not have wiped out Captain Blood.

Another programming note is inserted into the Tuesday morning listings, explaining that impeachment hearings may impact your daytime viewing. Reviewer John Cashman, detailing Sea Devils on WPIX, neglects to mention just how passionate Yvonne DeCarlo was.

A Gary Viskupic illustration graces the close-up on an ABC In Concert special with California Jam coverage, featuring Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Rare Earth, and... Don Imus? Producer/promoter Don E. Branker died of COVID-19 complications in December, 2020.

It's unusual to see mostly good reviews for the movies offered on any given Saturday night, but this schedule especially stands out because of a rare late-night showing of King Kong, the flick's only appearance as part of WOR's "Fright Night" package.

Finally, the back cover gave us this ad for Holiday Spa (which still had a Plainview location at this point), as part of their "When you gonna do it?" campaign. The shapely third-grade teacher pictured would surely be appalled at such lousy grammar.

Next Time: Johnny Carson hosts the 26th Annual Emmy Award Show, the first (and only) such presentation to bestow "Super Emmys" to a select few. Super!

Newsday TV Book, May 5-11, 1974.

To rectify an omission I recently noticed, I'll be posting about the May 1974 issues of the TV Books in my collection. Unfortunately, I'm missing May 12-18, but here is the first of the ones I have, the cover of which features Peter Sellers and Glen Campbell in Scottish drag. The story, by Bill Kaufman, tells of Glen's squirthood.

The TV Line tells us all about Jimmy J.J., Mary Helen McPhillips, Columbo's coat and Squares' sweatshirts--and more!

A bit of Sunday, mainly for Bud and Lou and the B-Boys (on channels 11 and 5, respectively), but there's also a Mother's Day ad from Carle Place's "Japanese department store," Takashimaya. It opened almost exactly one year earlier.

Sunday's late schedule offers a Gary Viskupic illustration of handy Gert Frobe as Goldfinger.

There are some interesting bits in this Tuesday afternoon sched, but I mostly include it for the ads promoting Long Island food purveyors. Laurette Pastry's (not Laurette's Pastries?) was not a huge TV Book advertiser to my recollection, but Antoni Ravioli bought space for years. And they're still there, in Massapequa! Wit the same fo-numba!

Friday night finds Viskupic in a WWII theme, one of his specialties.

Finally, Saturday's late night provides a spate of John Cashman reviews, totally worth a movie lover's time.
The TV Book crossword puzzle always had a photo of some performer at the center, their name to be entered into the grid's top line. The solution in the following week's issue, however, always included a tiny sketch of the photo in place of the photo. I noticed this long ago, of course, but it only just occurred to me: who drew these?

Next time: William Conrad smoking a pipe!