The Island-Ear, Issue 113E, March 28-April 10, 1983.

This is my first blog post of the pandemic era. Other than not running my business, life hasn't changed all that much so far. I'm still self-sequestered in my basement Nerd Room, scanning and editing old printed matter like a mental patient. I hope my style of nostalgic nincompoopery is comforting to people in this anxiety-ridden time (although frankly I'm not sure it doesn't make things worse). In any case, I'm still doing it because it's what I enjoy doing and because I'm not dead yet. Wait, let me double check. Yep, I'm good--on with the show!

I've previously scanned the full Christmas 1981 issue of the free Long Island-based music bi-weekly magazine The Island Ear, and this time out I'm offering the edition covering late March/early April 1983. I was finishing up my last year of Catholic school, and deep in the throes of my New Wave and MTV period. That means IE cover boy Thomas Dolby was a favorite (and his album of about a year later, The Flat Earth, is in fact still a valued part my music collection). Don’t forget to click each pic to see it more clearly...

The inside cover includes the masthead and a look at what music Long Islanders were currently buying.

Page 3 has ads for The Record Collection in Massapequa Park, J.T. McNaughton's in Rockville Centre, and EMI America.

Part one of the "Ear Rings" album reviews.

Ads for Fox's in Massapequa, Futuri in Valley Stream, and Spize in Farmingdale.

 Page 6 has a profile of The Nitecaps.

 Ads for Rumrunner of Oyster Bay, Hofstra University's concerts, and The Record Stop in Lake Ronkonkoma.

 "Island Eye Night" took place at Cheers in North Babylon, and page 8 has the photographic evidence.

 New Hyde Park's Dublin Pub gets a full page ad.

 The "Island Ear ???Quiz???" is next, along with news in "Hot Flashes."

 Ads for Jimmy Byrne's in Flushing, Island Sound in Merrick, The Gathering in Baldwin, and Prime Cuts Records & Tapes in Little Neck.

 I haven't taken a crack at this month's "Pizan's Puzzle" word search, but I hope it's better than his lousy crosswords. I don't know if the ad for J.U.M.P. in Hempstead was intentionally placed upside-down (like, crazy, man!), but I flipped it.

 Ads for February's in Elmont and Saltee Rehearsal Studios in Freeport.

 The "Hometown Pride" section talks about The Boston Burglars, an "institution in the Western Nassau area." They were the house band at Dublin Pub, which makes sense since the singer owned it.

 I bought many a long-player at Record World and the Record Shops at TSS. I did not purchase the Robert Hazard album, although I was a fan of his stupid-but-rousing "Escalator of Life."

 McHebe's Depot in Hempstead, and Cheers.

 Lee Aaron, anyone? Well, she was at The Wax Museum in Massapequa Park on April 1st (unless this was some sort of April Fool's joke). Be-Bop in Merrick kiped the opening lines to "One Step Beyond" by Madness and re-purposed them.

 A recent live show by local favorites NRBQ gets reviewed.

 Another ad for Record World, plus Reds (and their "Funky Fitness" New Wave Workout) in Levittown and Barry Athletic in Rockville Centre.

 Larry Kleinman's "If They Can't Take a Joke" shtick and ads for Beethoven's in New Hyde Park and Michael's Music in Long Beach cover page 20.

 Ads for Slipped Disc in Valley Stream, Jumping Jack's Stereo in North Babylon, and Sparks on Main Street in Huntington.

 More album reviews, plus ads for Mr. Cheapo Record Exchange in Flushing, JB Rehearsal Studios in Rockville Centre, Ken's Record Emporiums in Queens, and Mods & Rockers Haircutters in Hicksville.

 Ads for Sam Ash Music Stores, What Not Shop in Baldwin, and L.I. Record Collector in Hempstead.

 The Thomas Dolby interview.

Page 27 includes a look at the latest imports at Record World, along with ads for My Father's Place in Roslyn Village, Music Trends LTD in the Nassau Mall in Levittown, and P.O.E.T.S. in Flushing (shout-out to their zany DJ Dash Riprock).

 "Where It's At" details all the live music coming up (at IE advertisers, of course).

 Ads for The Pawnbroker Cafes, Susan's Composing Service, No Name & Never a Cover of Huntington, Speakerkits of Bellerose, and MSP (Master Sound Productions) Recording Studios of Franklin Square.

 Next, two pages showing what was spinning at local radio stations (WLIR, WBAB, WPLJ, WNEW, WRCN, WNYU, and WBAU), plus the newest video stars of MTV.

Finally, the back cover features the familiar artistry of one Starace, whose work accompanied the Midnight Madness ads for UA Theaters for years. According to comments on this site devoted to old movie houses, the manager of the Meadowbrook was Jean Starace, and the artist was her son, Pat.

I have a few more Island Ear issues, so keep an eye out for them (as soon as I feel like devoting hours and hours to preserving them--gosh, when will I find the time)...

Cashman is King!

I updated the John Cashman review blog today, adding a couple dozen "new" entries. I had been indicating additions by changing the title color from black to blue, but undoing it each time proved to be a tremendous torment of the tuchus, so now I'm just gonna put the new ones here (once they're incorporated there). I figure there's only like five people looking anyway (this means you, weirdo), so I don't anticipate a problem with this new system.

As I compiled these today, I realized that not only were these reviews my childhood snark primer, they almost certainly fomented my disregard for the Oxford comma, which only recently have I begun to begrudgingly employ. Seriously, fuck that Oxford comma. (Because I say so, that's why!)

The Americanization of Emily (1964) "The political ethics of the military are stomped in this wartime morality story written by Paddy Chayefsky. It concerns some Navy brass maneuvers and a running love/hate affair between James Garner and Julie Andrews. Cynical, witty and wise."

The Ballad of Josie (1968) [sic; actually 1967, but I've noticed that a ton of the years given are inaccurate] "Doris Day is about to inadvertently set off a sheepman vs. cattleman war in the old west. For viewers with high tedium thresholds."

Bamboo Saucer (1967) "Something has dropped on Red China from outer space and Chairman Mao doesn't have a saying to explain the event. Neither does the film. A foreign-made quickie to snooze by."

Bengal Brigade (1954) "Backed by stock footage of the frontier in Northern India, Rock Hudson and other English types fight off the fanatical nationalists bent on overthrowing colonial rule. Root for the fanatics. [With] the beautiful Arlene Dahl."

The Big Circus (1959) "Victor Mature is a tough circus boss (are there any other kind?) in this three-ring pastiche borrowed from Cecil B. DeMille. For indiscriminate kids of all ages. Peter Lorre plays a fat clown. Red Buttons, Vincent Price and the pretty Rhonda Fleming."

The Bounty Killer (1965) "An easterner comes West and becomes a savage bounty hunter. A bad flick, but check those supporting players: Richard Arlen, Buster Crabbe, Johnny Mack Brown, Bob Steele, Fuzzy Knight and Bronco Billy Anderson (you read right)."

Bunny Lake is Missing (1965) "The question is, does Carol Lynley have a missing daughter or doesn't she? Laurence Olivier tries to figure it out. Keir Dullea helps at times. Meanwhile, Noel Coward steals the picture, which is not saying much."

Carry on Cruising (1966) "More carryings-on, this time on a cruise ship. Mindless slapstick with regional English dialects."

The Colossus of New York (1958) "A scientist's brain is transplanted into a 9-foot mechanical contrivance that begins stomping persons and other living things. And you thought you had troubles."

Five Graves to Cairo (1942) "An early Billy Wilder effort set in a desert hotel run by Akim Tamiroff, to which comes a British soldier in mufti and Field Marshall Rommel in full uniform. Very nicely done, especially when [Erich] Von Stroheim is on camera. Stay with it."

Gimme Shelter (1970) "An oddly devastating film that follows the Rolling Stones during an American concert tour that culminates with an on-camera murder at the Altamont Rock Festival. It tells more than anyone could care to know about Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones, rock mania, groupies, mass hysteria and the Hell's Angels as peace officers. Basically it has the fascination of a particularly messy head-on automobile collision."

God's Little Acre (1958) "A salty screen version of the Erskine Caldwell novel that does not quite capture the earthy humor and lust of the book, despite a nice job as Ty Ty Walden by Robert Ryan. If you haven't heard, it's about a Georgia dirt farmer with a gold-digging obsession and some sexually precocious offspring. Try it, if only for old time's sake. Aldo Ray, Tina Louise, Fay Spain, Buddy Hackett, Jack Warden and Michael Landon doing an albino turn."

Godzilla (1956) "Japanese answer to King Kong with Raymond Burr spliced in for audiences this side of the Pacific. Neither Burr nor the monster is terribly convincing, to say nothing of the dubbing. Laugh along with Fuiuki Shinkichi and the entire population of Tokyo."

A Hard Day's Night (1964) "The first Beatles film and a winner. Under Richard Lester's direction, the four Liverpoolians [sic] romp and sing through a frenzied farce that nobody had done successfully since the Marx Brothers had retired. Wilfred Brambell as grandpa is just marvelous. It's all marvelous."

Horror Island (1941) "On an island off the coast there is believed to be some buried treasure. There is very definitely a murderer there. The search and the murders are on. Yawn."

Kid Millions (1934) "A wild and still entertaining mad Sam Goldwyn production that has Eddie Cantor inheriting $77 million and a host of Goldwyn girls, including Lucille Ball. Plus, one sequence shot in early Technicolor."

The Lucky Texan (double feature with The Man from Utah, both 1934) "Two lone-star quickies that kept John Wayne off the welfare rolls during the Depression."

Machine Gun Kelly (1958) "Another in the cheapy, quickie school of great gangsters we have known. Charles Bronson will blast his way into your heart and other vital organs. Anyway, it's loud."

Mean Streets (1973) [with Gary Viskupic illustration--and an awfully literal one at that!]


The Mummy's Curse (1945) "Peter Coe minds Lon Chaney Jr. this time out, but the fun is beginning to wear thin."

My Favorite Brunette (1947) "Another Bob Hope bit of madness, once again involving Dorothy Lamour. The story doesn't make any sense, but that's the point. Peter Lorre, Lon Chaney."

Once You Kiss a Stranger (1970) "Somebody obviously thought they had another 'Strangers on a Train' in this one about a psychotic girl with quid-pro-quo murder in mind. Were they ever wrong."

Return of Jesse James (1951) "Actually, it's not Jesse at all, but a small-time gunman cashing in and out because he looks like Jesse. It's been done better."

The Roots of Heaven (1958) "A sometimes light, sometimes heavy look at a certified elephant freak (Trevor Howard) at war with ivory hunters. Throw in a couple of nice performances by Errol Flynn and Eddie Albert and a delicious bit by Orson Welles and you've got a long John Huston mixed bag that is more good than bad."

San Antonio (1945) "The Warner Brothers 'A' team in what passed for a classy western in those days. Interesting, but Errol Flynn is no Sunset Carson."

Yeah, take that, Errol!

Some Kind of Nut (1969) "An unbelievably contrived thing that hangs on Dick Van Dyke's new beard and the establishment reaction thereto. Blame it on Garson Kanin and forget it."

The Sound of Horror (1965) "They unearth some stone eggs which hatch into invisible creatures. Unfortunately, you can hear them. Dubbed."

Star (1968) "This time Gertrude Lawrence takes a beating as the nominal character in this London-chorus-to-Broadway-stage success story. Julie Andrews is winning and winsome, but is she Gertrude Lawrence? No matter, it's not that interesting, anyway."

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre (1967) "Roger Corman lovingly lays out the infamous Chicago incident wherein Al Capone almost succeeds in showing Bugs Moran who is boss of the bosses. Nice feel for the 1920's but exploitive and unnecessarily gory. Jason Robards is crazy enough, but not fat enough as Big Al."

Suez (1938) "Supposedly the story of Ferdinand de Lesseps (Tyrone Power), who built the Suez Canal, but Ferdy seems to have more of a problem choosing between classy Loretta Young and earthy Annabella. At least that's the way Darryl Zanuck saw it. Still, the production and acting are first rate. With a little effort it could have been a great one."

Surprise Package (1960) "That would be Mitzi Gaynor, who is sent to her deported mobster boyfriend (Yul Brynner) by the boys. Throw in a royal robbery and some Art Buchwald one-liners and watch it lay there."

Toklat (1972) "A forerunner of the wilderness school of bucolic relationships and animal noises. This one's about an old sheepherder and a cute bear cub. Nice Utah scenery."

Up in Smoke (1957) "The title says it all. The Bowery Boys weren't even trying in this satanic look at horse racing."

The Verdict (1946) "A locked room, the almost-perfect crime and an eyeball-rolling Sydney Greenstreet make this almost interesting. And watch Peter Lorre get as close to playing a romantic lead as he ever did."

The Wind and the Lion (1975) "Love, Moroccan desert hordes, an international incident and a dash of history in a John Milius movie like they used to make, but don't hardly anymore. Big, glossy and rousing. With Sean Connery, Candice Bergen, John Huston and Brian Keith as a feisty Teddy Roosevelt."