Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Newsday TV Book, December 10-16, 1972.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a coupla days late on this one--it's the holidays, I've got a cold, I'm doped to the gills on the Big Fuckin' Q, etcetera-yada-blah.  Maybe Carol Burnett will cheer me up! I always loved The Carol Burnett Show as a kid, but this is some kinda musical crap.
 Burnett had played the lead in this production several times at this point. In the cover story, she says it's been updated to appeal to adults by adding "an unmarried pregnant lady." Which is pretty funny... provided she was only making a joke. There's some cast in this: Ken Berry, Jack Gilford, Wally Cox, Lyle Waggoner. Carol prefers that you eggheads don't heavily analyze the plot, ya dig? That wouldn't be groovy.
B.B. (from Wantagh) wants to know about VD (from toilet seats). J.R wants to know more about M.K. Douglas. M.N. wonders what the Falk's up with Peter's left eye. Bobby Darin and Zulu draw inquiries from Floral Parkers. And we learn of the greatest mystery of MacMillan's career: Why did NBC executives terminate his wife's pregnancy?
On Sunday, The Little Drummer Boy leads the way for the latest Christmas special with Bing and the Crosbys, not to mention Struthers and Villella. For the Christmas trifecta, Bob Hope then leers wholesomely at Elke Sommer. Over on CBS, Sandy Duncan has a rotten tooth in an episode of her show that has not been seen by a single person on earth ever.

It's Sommer-time again, as Monday brought a network showing of '65's A Shot in the Dark. Some classic John Cashman comments in the reviews, and a WNET showing of The Plot to Overthrow Christmas, which sounds interesting.

Tuesday offered a Don Rickles special with Carroll O'Connor and Harvey Korman, but before that you had to watch that mopey asshole Charlie Brown. Unless you had a thing for Jenny Agutter and geese, in which case you ratcheted over to Hallmark Hall of Fame. (What else might one call the act of rotating that old TV dial? Cranking? Sputtering?)
The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine on Wednesday had a Charlie Chan sketch with Bill Cosby as Number One Son. I'm gonna guess that Globetrotter Bobby Hunter had never heard of Charlie Chan until sometime between putting on the white suit and being handed a magnifying glass. (According to an online source, this program also featured Jean Stapleton, Sally Struthers, Dom Deluise, Norm Crosby, Cass Elliot, Teresa Graves, Ted Knight, Will Geer and Keye Luke. Don't ask me why this font came out different.)

This Thursday late-night schedule is interesting mainly for the Armored Attack review, Peter Lorre in The Big Circus, and an action flick with Drew Barrymore's dad.

Friday night was the night they aired The Night the Animals Talked. As far as I know, neither incident occurred again. The Sha Na Na joined the John Lennon and the Yoko Ono on the One-To-One concert, which preempted Love, American Style. Thus, you Stuart Margolin fans had to look elsewhere for your mild innuendo. Of course, if Barbara Eden was as naked as the mildly creepy "Love Is" cartoons she was mimicking in her variety special, well... that would do. (I should add that this is yet another variety special of which I can find no video evidence. MeTV or Decades or any of these retro programmers would do well to dig these treasures up, if the licensing is agreeable.)
Some sci-fi movies and the Groovie Goolies enjoying some pork and duck on Saturday Morning...

...and here's that afternoon. Comedian Mario Cantone mentioned the Prince Street Players when he hilariously guested on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast, and I swear it's the only time I've heard of the New York performers outside of these old TV Books. Here they put a Christmas spin on Pinocchio at five PM.
 Viva Brigitte! Some more witheringly succinct Cashman reviews on this evening.
And lastly, since the back cover is a repeat, an ad for a sweet 8-track player and the crossword. Here's a gimme: 4 Down, three letters, "___ Haw," is haw. Haw haw!
Next week: Faye Dunaway puts up her dukes as the Duchess of Windsor!


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