Newsday TV Book, September 10-16, 1978. (Fall Preview!)

That's right, it's fall preview time, and in your Non-Parader's neck of the woods (and I mean the woods!) we're getting just that: cool days and overnight temps dipping into the forties, leaves coming down prematurely by the bushel, stores even sneaking in a coupla Christmas shelves. In 1978, your favorite shows were returning right about now, and the TV Book featured a colorful, repetitive Sudduth cover as Long Islanders began the second third of September.
(Click or tap the pics to blow them up, grandpa!)

Is Siegfried also Doc? Will Vinnie and 

Jill come back? Are Jan and Buffy dead? These and other dumb questions were on the minds of Nassauans and... Suffolkers?

Let's jump right into the action, with TV Book Editor Tony Gentile's twelve-page look at what was in store for our boob tube viewing in the coming season.

Now let's take a look at Sunday morning, with the premiere of Kids Are People Too (when it was hosted by Wonderama's Bob McAllister) and a warning that there may be programming changes if the New York City newspaper strike was still in effect (it was, and would be until early November--which is about how long McAllister lasted before being fired).

Here's that afternoon, for no real reason other than yet again offering the Noseless Preggo of Dan Howard's Maternity Factory Outlet. I'm starting to think I'm falling in love with her. She's probably married, huh? Well, I'll raise that baby as my own, Noseless Preggo of Dan Howard's Maternity Factory Outlet, you'll see! And I'll find you a damn nose, too!

On ABC, 20/20 began in earnest after a summer debut, and NBC's Sword of Justice began a half-season run before getting the axe.

Late Friday brought some sci-fi and horror flicks to the wee hours (plus the usual hilarious reviews by the bracing John Cashman, whose daughter Kathleen handled that fall movie preview), which led into more horror on Saturday morning (and here's the rest of that day's schedule).

Here's a colorful center spread for Music Warehouse, with many locations on the Island (including my hometown of Plainview--woot woot!--but which I do not remember at all).

Kalinsky's, uh, baby stuff store in Hempstead kept an Artist-in-Residence, namely Walt Smith, M.D.S. (whatever that means--Master of Diaper Studies?). Hey, Noseless Preggo of Dan Howard's Maternity Factory Outlet, I'm taking you to Kalinsky's! Hands off, Walt, she's mine!

Let's finish things up with the Cable TV Highlights (can someone please find Orson Welles at the Magic Castle for me?) and the Quick Guide, which got squeezed down to just the week's movies due to the fall preview.

Back cover is a snooze, so I'm gonna go winterize the mower and bust out the rake!
'til next time...

Newsday TV Book, July 14-20, 1974.

 Well, whoop-de-ding-dang-doo, we're midway through July already! I don't typically celebrate the swift passage of time, now that I'm well into the dead-any-day-now age bracket (for a pudgy white fella with truly lacking diet and exercise regimens, anyway). As any devoted reader of this blog (meaning no one) will know, however, I am a fan of the cooler months of the year, less so of the sweaty ones, so I say let's get them over with!

In the 70's, of course, it was different. I was in grade school then, which I liked even less than sweating, so summer was mostly a blast--save for perpetual earaches from too much underwater swimming in our above-ground pool, regular sunburns from too much running around like a nut in a bathing suit, and the consistently-ignored reading list that seemed to get longer as the start of a new school year loomed.

In July of 1974, I was about two months from starting kindergarten, so I was not yet privy to the relief summertime provided from the strictures of academia. Nor was I yet privy to the foibles of an inner-city Black family with a weird, lanky teen with a big mouth and a catchphrase. Not until Good Times hit syndication, anyway.

(Remember to click each pic to unblur!)

The cover story focuses on Esther Rolle, as she talks shit about her character Florida to Pam Lambert. (Well, I guess that's more on the writers, who she felt gave the female roles "no purpose.")

In the TV Line, Simon Oakland gets identified, someone in Wantagh is determined to give PBS a piece of their mind, and more info on John Considine than you ever wanted to know is offered (minus the correct spelling of his name).

Here's Sunday morning, which found Newsday TV Book movie reviewer John Cashman in an unusually charitable mood toward the Bowery Boys.

In a brief look at this issue written seven years ago, I described Newsday Illustrator Gary Viskupic's take on The Grapes of Wrath as "less-than-vintage." I dunno. I guess I like it better now.

Monday night brought some interesting-sounding shows on PBS, including "How Could I Not Be Among You?" It was a short film about a poet who was facing imminent death, but I've since read that the circumstances surrounding Ted Rosenthal's demise were somewhat misrepresented.

Also, the ad for McQuade's Pub in Rockville Centre features ye olde clip art, and the best kind: with an offer of free booze!

Tuesday's late sched has Richie Cunningham and Corinne Tate yukking it up, and concludes with Cashman's customary shot at Vera Hruba Ralston's unpretty puss.

Here's the late Wednesday listings, and the late Willie Mays.

I included this page for the weekday morning programming, the Watergate Hearings announcement, and the ad for a place in Hicksville to go get your gi.

As he so often managed, Viskupic takes a fairly simple idea and turns it into a fascinating, somehow almost unsettling image.

Now here's all of Friday (including a late concert simulcast on WPLJ, once 95.5 on your New York City FM dial) and Saturday (WOR's Fright Night pre-empted by Mets baseball? Boo! Although at least there was Meet Me in St. Louis for an early dose of Christmas...)

Okay, to atone for disparaging your precious New York Metropolitans, here's the Quick Guide to the sporting events of the week.

And finally, it's another boring, piss-yellow ad for County Federal Savings, but one I haven't scanned before, with a cash club sandwich to be eaten over a ten-year period.

What's on deck for next time? How the fuck should I know? I might be dead by then! (Checks pulse rate, thinks about making a fried salami and provolone club with plenty o' Miracle Whip...)

Newsday TV Book, May 27-June 2, 1979.

Listen up, dummy! No, I'm not talking to Lamont Sanford--it's LeVar Burton on the cover, in a "controversial role as a deaf-mute."
(Yes, I know saying "Listen up dummy" is ridiculous as well as offensive. I'm playing a character here: the Loudmouth Long Island Dickhead! And I'm good at it because I play him in real life, too!)

Bill Kaufman talks with the director in this interesting cover story.

In the TV Line: Fallen Angel Kate Jackson, the shorter-than-I-thought Laraine Newman, and Norman Lear, quoting an anonymous Greek (probably not Jimmy).

ABC's top star needs more exposure, apparently, and the NBC Peacock makes a glittery return in this week's Off Camera, edited by Carol Burton Terry.

Sunday afternoon brought the Noseless Preggo showing off her pins, plus the Marx Brothers, Spanish Jewry, and... a planet where apes evolved from MEN?!?
On a Connecticut station so I CAN'T SEE IT?!?
Damn you, WTNH! Goddamn you all to HELL!!!

And just for the hell of it, this time out I'm showing every late-night schedule, starting with--duh--Sunday's, noteworthy (to me) for the Trilogy of Terror airing (and John Cashman's typically dry take).

Monday was Memorial Day, and the morning listings sat beside an ad with a lunchroom volunteer mom doing a Joe E. Ross impression in the name of shilling quality vinyl asbestos floor coverings. Or something.

That night brought a Gary Viskupic illustration in which he got to do what he did best: Nazis!

Late Monday/early Tuesday.

Late Tuesday's schedule, in which we find out Tracy is good but March was better, Bergman is marvelous, and Satan is passable.

I was ten during this week, and if I had been a little older, I probably would have stayed up to check out Dr. Orloff's Monster. Cashman's review may have been off-putting to others, but it intrigued me. I was that kind of kid. (Pretty sure I'd have been back to sleep in no time.)

I'm including Thursday morning just for the Bethpage State Park ad. Who the hell knew they held polo matches there?

Visk is at it again, with a portrait of the monstrous Dr. Mengele.

Classic Cashman for Nightmare Alley: "If you don't know what a geek is..."

Late Friday.

Now here's all day Saturday. In earlier versions, the Hollywood Inn Motel would frame their ad in X's. I guess someone decided that was a little on-the-nose.

The rare instance of a second story pops up at the end, with an AP piece taking an early look at Shogun.

The Cable TV Highlights are a little light on local programs--although I did find that disco dancer Ann Boccaccino (featured on Cablevision's Nobody Special) died about two-and-a-half years ago.

Here's some trivia (and awesome ads) for ya...

Some ads to help kick-start your pathetic social life: racquetball, disco, and video-dating!

Finally, yet another Suburban Colonial Shoppes ad on the back cover, this one a bit more chromatically subdued than usual. "Extra heavy, thick round, plump roll arms" and "over-all massive look" were phrases also employed by frequent TV Book advertiser Holiday Spa, but in a less positive way...

Stay tuned, fellow weirdos! Summer is coming! I don't like it!