Love and Thanks.

Got back from Long Island Friday morning. It was a long week and I'm still catching up on my sleep. I enjoyed spending time with my brothers and sisters and their kids, and the many family members I haven't seen in years (some of whom I didn't remember at all because I last met them when I was very little), plus all the friends and neighbors from long ago. It was all rather dreamlike, which may explain why I didn't dream the entire time I was there.

Adding to that surreal feeling was a serene, windless storm which enveloped the day of mom's funeral with fine snowflakes that, despite falling steadily for hours, somehow never accumulated past a half-inch. The day was unfailingly gray, peculiar and beautiful, and that suited me just fine. Standing amid the flurries as I laid a perfect rose on her casket, I think I even smiled.

Thank you to everyone who left their condolences here, or called, or sent cards. I love you too.

I feel like I should write more about mom, who she was, what she meant to me and everyone else. It's still hard to think about. I'll just say that, if you didn't have a mom, she was the mom you'd ask for.

My sisters went down to Carolina to sort out mom's stuff, and they found a music box set out for each of them, as if she knew they'd be coming. They also came across a planning guide that mom had filled out, for funeral preparations and so forth. With it there was a note that mom had written years ago, meant to be read after her passing. In it she said how proud she was of us kids and that, although she never had much in the way of material things, she couldn't have wanted for anything, other than wishing she had told us she loved us more.

I know you're past worry, mom, but just so you know... you told us.