Eleven Score and Ten Years Ago...

Summer has begun. You can tell because it’s hotter than hell. Okay, I exaggerate; it’s only as hot as hell. As rare good fortune would have it, Donna and I were away at the coast for the really hot days earlier this week. While other Portlanders were mopping their brows in woe and wailing and gnashing their teeth in lamentation of the heat, the wife and I were laying on a windy beach having our ears filled with sand, or shivering ever-so-slightly in our enormous screenhouse as we did shots, played dice and listened to “Summer Breeze” on a Mary-Kate and Ashley portable CD player I found discarded in our local trash. (To the impatient tweenybopper who chucked it: you simply needed to wipe the laser thingy, it works just fine. No takebacks!)

Anyway, it was Donna’s birthday, and to all those who sent cards to the campsite, she says a big ‘thank you’ in return. They all arrived on her birthday, and were delivered right to our tent by a teenager in a golf cart, much to Donna’s surprise and delight. I couldn’t get my hands on a cake, so she got a Mounds bar with sparklers stuck in it. She proclaimed it the best birthday ever, so thanks again for the next best thing to being there…

Speaking of sparklers, the Fourth of July is coming up, tho naturally I prefer to think of it as the 30th anniversary of the Bicentennial. In commemoration of this, over the next few days I will be presenting--what else--pictures from old TV Guides and newspapers!

Here's the cover from the week of the Bicentennial, July 3rd-9th, 1976 (the 4th fell on Sunday):


For NYC area folks, here's a station break identification card from WCBS that you might have seen during, say, Dinah! or Mike Douglas.


Yankee Doodle Cricket!

Chester Cricket's role in the history of America is now disputed by most historians, but I still don't see why they don't show this one anymore...

A live six-hour salute to Independence Day hosted by Tom Snyder? Only Tom Snyder could stand that much Tom Snyder.


Remember these dopey TV tests?

They had them about smoking and safety and stuff like that too, usually hosted by Frank Field. You'd get all set for the program with a pencil and your scorecard at the ready, then after about three questions, wearily switch over to check in on Adam-12 or to see who was on Match Game PM.

Church and State, together at last!

I wonder if you can find one of these car decals on eBay. It sure would make a swell Bicentennial gift, hint hint... Mary has either been hitting the sauce or struck on the noggin, judging from the comical stars and bubbles around her halo.

Freedom Is, a cartoon special you're sure to not remember.

Another production from the Lutheran Layman's League, the cruel folks who brought you the tedious Christmas Is and the cheerless The City That Forgot About Christmas. The all-star vocal talents of these "specials" do nothing to offset the near-static animation and treacly, uninspired preachiness. The Christmas shows actually still turn up on local TV here. They must be in the public domain, though I don't know why a station wouldn't opt to show an infomercial instead.