Friday, May 26, 2006

Oh, My Stars and Garters!

Last night, I caught the midnight show of X-Men: The Last Stand and I’m as giddy as the Impossible Man on whippets to report that it is every bit the fanboy spooge target I had hoped it would be. I had my doubts, I admit, but Brett Ratner takes the helm competently (if not always with the greatest inspiration). If you are worried about the casting of Kelsey Grammer as Hank McCoy, you needn’t be. Just when you think he’s going to stand there in an ill-fitting suit sounding like Frasier Crane for the whole movie, Beast throws down, swings around and seriously pounds some mutinous mutant ass.

Oh baby I hear Big Blue a'callin', tossed
soldiers and scrambled heads...

I must say that I may be the ideal audience for this series. An ardent fan as a kid, I later lost interest but never fondness for the Marvels of my youth. Therefore, I can’t really quibble if Colossus isn’t portrayed with a Russian accent, as I can’t remember if he actually had one back in the day. Likewise, I wouldn’t bother to claim that Angel is underdeveloped or underused in X3, cos I barely recall him at all from the comics. I will say that his flying veers perilously between angelic and seagull-like, bringing the audience to the verge of unintended laughter. There was one hearty inadvertent laugh from the crowd, but I didn’t quite decipher the reason. (I won’t describe the scene for fear of catching spoiler flak.) Maybe you would have to be a teen to appreciate it anyway, for Donna and I beat the median age in the theater by a solid score. On a school night, no less! Damn kids!

Lots of mutants meet their demise--one way or another--in this supposedly final outing. Again, I can’t say how closely it follows the original arc, as my memory gets fuzzy after Jean Grey returns as the Phoenix. (Oops, um, spoiler alert? Ah, forget it.) BTW, if you're dragging a non-fan along, they'll definitely need to see the previous films first. Donna thought the others were great without knowing anything about the X-Men beforehand, and she loved this one too, but there's not much in the way of back story, with flashbacks mostly predating the earlier flicks. As for the complaint I've read about cramming in too many characters this time out, I say cram away! Every mutant cameo, reference or stock line (see post title) got at least some measure of appreciative reaction from the audience, and I sure enjoyed the hell out of them. They could've at least gotten Nightcrawler in there again...

Lastly, I must add that if you’re one of those hasty hotpants who bolts from his seat at the first whiff of denouement, with X3 you’d better settle yer hash for just a few minutes more. The final scene is one of great, somber pathos, but then, a split-second before the credits pop up, something happens that had this faded fanboy rising out of his seat in unabashed nerdly jubilation. So brave the throngs and see X3 this weekend, effendi! X-celsior!

Post-script: Rambling Morsel tells me that there is even more nifty stuff after the credits. The wife and I opted to bolt before the crush of teenybopper exodus so we missed it, dammit to hell! I guess I'll just have to see it again...


Blogger MO'SH said...

FOOM! Sounds like it has a lot of Pizzazz!

Hey, is there a Scarlet Witch and Vision film in the works? There f-ing should be!

Fri May 26, 11:33:00 PM 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Given your aversion to third films in a trilogy (I know you still haven't seen Return of the Jedi), I was shocked to hear you like this film.

Mon Jun 12, 02:59:00 PM 2006  
Blogger psaur said...

I have seen RotJ. A few months ago. It both sucked and blew. See my Netflix review under the name Beech Buchanan (you know, as in "protected by the ejaculate of serpents").

As for this aversion you speak of, I have here a letter of yours, anonymous, to me, dated October 2nd, 1985, wherein you counter my favorable review of "The Final Conflict" by saying it was "shitty, you were dreaming. The guy shooting himself was great though." Thus I refute your assertion, but concede that your review was probably more accurate.

Wed Jun 14, 10:33:00 PM 2006  

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