Newsday TV Books, March 1974.

Here we are, freshly sprung and nearly unMarched, and at last another edition of vintage Newsday TV Books blooms in the prickly, poisonous garden of World Wide Webdom. Let's hearken to a day when this gentle fella could be an American superstar...

On the inside cover, TV Line tells us all about Nicolas Beauvy (now a real estate agent), Florence Henderson (now dead), and Marlin Perkins (yes, he spelled it like the fish), who probably would not have been 113 on this coming March 28th.

In his cover story, John Denver talks shit about Toledo, Ohio and touts est, for which he wrote a sort-of theme song, "Looking For Space," covered here by Olivia Newton-John.

On Sunday night, New York City-area viewers had their choice of Cash on Columbo, Matthau and May, or Judy Garland five years before packing it in.

Alice Cooper spooks the Snoop Sisters (along with George Maharis and Cyril Ritchard), and Tony Geary kidnaps sorority girls at 11:30. And Alan Ladd, as ever, takes his shirt off.

On Wednesday one could have enjoyed the movie that infamously interrupted a football game (God forbid!), or some comedy gold from Bobby Riggs roasters (and later a stellar line-up on ABC's Wide World of Entertainment).

Raquel Welch gets the Krofft treatment from oddball artist Gary Viskupic for this special close-up. (Here's a clip from the show, with Tom Jones.)

Yep, it's time again for Hicks Nurseries in Westbury to trot out the animatronic bunnies for their annual Easter display!

The following week, Sir Laurence Olivier takes on the role of Shylock in an ITC production of The Merchant of Venice.

Paul Lynde's marital status, Dinah Shore's department store, bad advice from a doctor prompting a Telly Savalas query--TV Line's got it all! (Except who performed Thing, but I can tell you that it's since been reported that it was the hand of either Ted Cassidy or, if Ted was appearing in the scene with Thing as Lurch, then it was assistant director Jack Voglin. Sorry if I ruined that for you.)

Olivier hoped to put a kinder, gentler spin on Shylock, "portraying him as an early Rothschild-type Jew." Well, I guess that's... better.

Here's a full afternoon of NYC programming (and Long Island, when you include WLIW 21 and WSNL 67), but I'm mostly including this for the prime-time close-up spotlighting the premiere of Marlo Thomas and Friends in Free to Be... You and Me. See kids--you can grow up to be a bum!

Viskupic draws on The World You Never See for inspiration in this close-up. For the night owl, there's the Twilight Zone episode "The Changing of the Guard," a good premise hobbled by weak writing and worse acting.

The spa known as Spa serves up some dynamite cheesecake this time out, and I left in the coming attraction for Sunday Newsday's magazine, LI.

There's more va-va-voom on view with this unusual back cover ad.

Alan Alda winningly shakes a fist at us from the cover of the next week's TV Book

This week, Long Islanders were preoccupied with the vital stats of Dennis Weaver, the voice of Morris the Cat and wagering on Harold Lloyd's mansion. Presumably, it was Carol Burton who obliged, although her byline was omitted.

She does, however, get credit for this piece primarily concerning Alda's special play adaptation, 6 Rms Riv Vu.

Here's another daytime schedule with a prime-time close-up, no great shakes but I'm a Viskupic completist...

Now it's Vincent Price hamming it up on The Snoop Sisters!

It's been a while since I've posted a full morning sched (plus Newsday's delightfully 70's graphics), so here's Wednesday.  I look at this and I immediately want to dig out some vintage video of The Galloping Gourmet, Courageous Cat and The Price is Right. Then I recover.

The week beginning with the 24th is such a dull one, they featured a show from next week on the cover! It stars Greer Garson and somebody I never even heard of! And although there's an elegant Tony Gentile painting to go with it, the program is called Crown Matrimony, two words that, when placed together, guarantee me a good night's sleep.

At least the TV Line has some Bowie, and a Long Island-centric story about a team of young women playing ice hockey at the Racquet & Rink in Farmingdale.

The opening paragraph of this piece about Garson mentions that  she's a member of the local "sheriff's posse" in New Mexico. Unless you're a fan, it's all downhill from there.

I'm gonna pack it in right here, despite there being one more day in the month. I'll just present the next cover as a tease, because nothing should whet your appetite for more teevee nostalgia like a hunchbacked Sandy Duncan mobbed by Disney characters. I think she needs to refer Pluto to a good ophthalmologist. Something going on there.

See you real soon! Why? What the hell else I gotta do?