Waldman "Circus" Coloring Book, 1964.

I interrupt this blog (which I seem to have decided should be entirely devoted to my Newsday TV Books--that was an actual decision, right?) to present something I found in my archives, there for no reason other than it came with a bunch of other stuff in a plastic-bagged assortment of thrift store randomness. I was about to chuck it when I flipped through and a few pages caught my eye. The lack of representation I found on the internerts led me to scan these and put them here, and now you're looking at them. What the hell is wrong with us?

The cover has the requisite appalling clown and a suggested price of twenty-nine cents, which discount store Topps has cut down to twelve-and-a-half.

The "story" concerns a circus coming to town, some kids wanting to see it, them seeing it and then reenacting it. I've only scanned a handful of the many, many, many pages (I have to remind myself that this was 20 years before Intellivision and MTV, as I wonder who the fuck could want to color all this--there's about eight pages of dancing horses alone), and I present them in the order of my damn pleasing.

 Yep, lots of clowns in this one. None are especially creepy, but few are happy-faced. (Need I have bothered to mention that the book is liberally scribbled-at? God, kids wreck everything!)

I didn't even know J.K. Simmons was performing in '64, but there he is! I love how he brings that faint air of menace to his role of "Monkey Conductor."

A good coloring book artist can convey so much in even the crudest of drawings, as evinced by the dismay in this little guy's face. I'm not sure why there's a hose running up his ass and out his mouth, but it's an intriguingly surreal detail of an already perplexing scene.

Mm-hmm.

Most impressive!

And now, a classic...

With this crummy gig, can you blame her?

Hey, lucky you! This page, with its vintage unintentional drug reference, is unsullied by wild, indiscriminate crayon-scruffings, so you can print it out for yourself and your stoner pals! Pin it to your rec room wall, but be sure to color it first. You know, coloring for adults is all the rage, and why not? The Information Age has given us all kinds of free time for mindless busy work! Take THAT, stupid word-reading and thought-thinking!

"...and my apologies to the families in section four, about to be spattered with gore and entangled in my large intestine when I'm blown in half. For God's sake, cover your children's eyes!"

Yes, I'm afraid this is...

...but it seems more appropriate to let this feminist hobo clown bring things to a close by saying...

Now I can throw the damn thing out!