Monday, November 03, 2008

Greetings From the Almost-a-Palindrome State!

Yeah, yeah, it's been a whole month I'm here in Ohio and I haven't hardly written or called anyone... Geez, gimme a break, my whole life is capsized over here! This place is fruity nutcake, I tell ya! So far, I've seen a Chinese restaurant that sells tennis shoes, a video store with a bar and tanning beds in it, and a farm with a sign out front hawking "cornhole bags." Three days last week it flurried like crazy, but now it's about seventy degrees. Soda is called "pop," television comes from outer space and dogs say "meow." Ca-ca coo-coo! Despite all this (plus the stress of packing and moving before even getting over the rainbow), Donna and I have managed to maintain our meager stores of sanity. (I was kidding about the meowing dogs.)

Things are going pretty well other than that we haven't gotten jobs yet, though prospects become more promising daily. We have two vehicles that allegedly provide good winter traction, including a relatively new Jeep with the absurd luxury of heated seats. We await a couch that will hopefully come before the holidays, because, as it turns out, without one there is no living to be done in a living room (even with the delightful satellite TV service I previously alluded to). Similarly, there is little sleeping to be done in a bedroom lacking blinds, as ours does. I could go on about our charming abode, but instead let me just present it to you:

Here is our view off the porch (except the corn's been mowed):
Here's our view to the left:
And to our right:
And here is an evening sky a few nights after our arrival:

Hopefully I'll get some more reporting in soon, about the trip itself (thanks, by the way, to my sisters in Utah for their hospitality and for taking me to the Norm McDonald show... Dee-dee-dee, dum-de-dum...) Oh, and Indiana sucks. Stay away from it. Oh, shit, and I almost forgot Christmas! It's almost Christmas, i'nit? Yes, yes, much to cover, backwoods dial-up allowing.

As for the Election, please give Obama the nod for the missus and me, as we fell into a voting no-man's-land and have to sit this one out. And just to let you know, last week at dinner (or "supper"), Donna's cousin repeatedly called Obama a terrorist despite having nothing to back this allegation with other than a vague notion of him not having an American birth certificate. Then her dad helpfully pointed out Barack's middle name. Yep, they really exist, Oregon liberals--I was just as shocked as you! To be fair, no one here really seems to like McPalin either, and judging from what I've heard so far, whoever wins had better bring the troops back from Iraq and make them all Secret Service...

5 Comments:

Blogger MO'SH said...

Welcome back! Some abode you got there, Farmer! Beautiful! Still dial-up, huh? You'd think in a state so state-of-the-art as to have a shoe sale in a Chinese restaurant would have broadband! Ah, well, some day, maybe today! Election Day! Good Christ! We've all voted out here in the Great Wet North for the Hussein!

Tue Nov 04, 12:51:00 PM 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay!! It's so pretty! But be serious, those were postcards, right? Not actual pictures...
Hey- Can you send me one of those cornhole bags? I've been looking everywhere!
Erin O

Tue Nov 04, 01:06:00 PM 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can almost smell the shoofly pie cooling on the windowsill. Didn't anyone give you a hex sign at your housewarming party? (Would you like me to crochet one?) About that "Norm MacDonald show"..do you mean that street preacher on the corner in Ogden? I TOLD you not to drink until you were acclimated to this altitude...but you did enjoy him so...

Tue Nov 04, 05:18:00 PM 2008  
Blogger the feeb said...

who the fuck wrote this? and what have you done with paul?

Tue Nov 04, 07:46:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Brian Kunath said...

Wait...you moved to Ohio??

Tue Nov 04, 08:00:00 PM 2008  

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