Turkey in May!

That's an idea of mine for the Turkey Association of America (if there is one). It's been months since the holiday season, which is certainly the big time of year for feasting on gobblers. So what the TAA should do, I surmise, is push those big birds at the mid-point of the off-season. Hence, "Turkey in May!"

Okay, there's gotta be a better name for it, but you get the idea, and so will everyone else. "Man, it's been months since we had a big ass turkey for dinner," jes-plain-folks'll say.
"Remember how good that was, last Christmas, remember that, Paw-Paw?"
"Yeah, I remember. Huh, turkey, that sounds good... Goddamn, we gotta get ourselves some fuckin' Turkey in May!"

For Mother's Day (13th), Armed Forces Day (19th), Memorial Day (28th), hell, it's even "Better Hearing and Speech" month--Turkey! And Cinco de Mayo--Turkey tacos!

The seventh would have been Darrin McGavin's 85th birthday. He's filmdom's most famous turkey lover! Plus, it's also Robert Browning's birthday--what smells better browning than Turkey? Other celeb b-days worth turkeying are Trent Reznor's on the 17th ("I want to stuff you like an animal!") and you can gobble a gobbler for Gobel--George, that is, on the 20th! This very day is the natal anniversary of Theodore Bikel and Baron von Richthofen! What the hell, eat some Turkey--had me mine last night!