The Last Gasp.

So this is what the GOP is resorting to in these last hopeless days before the election of their undoing. John Kerry tells a joke poorly and they swarm all over him like starving termites on a discarded toothpick. I won't even bother to explain the joke here, as I'm sure you know it by now. It was an apt shot at the President's mental disabilities, but vaguely worded. When I heard it, I knew exactly what he meant, as did anyone else with a sane person's sense of perspective. But Bushie-Bush and his flying monkeys, fueled by a combination of humorlessness, desperation and feigned indignation, are spinning it as a crack at the troops in Iraq. Bush, using his nasal, self-righteous nyah-nyah-nyah voice, has demanded an apology. Fox "News" is calling it Kerry's "gift to the GOP" and has said that this "will be an issue right up to the election." Actually, it's a NON-issue and if anyone remembers it in a week it's because Fox will make it an incessantly-revived talking point.

Is there any sensible person out there who could believe that Kerry, a decorated, wounded Vietnam veteran, would choose to suddenly and inexplicably denigrate U.S. soldiers in the middle of a speech attacking the incompetence of the Bush regime? Thankfully, he is not only refusing to apologize but aggressively fighting back, pointing out that this sort of specious accusation is the hallmark of the Republicans' dirty playbook. (In this case, I'd say it's a half-assed Hail Mary at best.)

(11/03 add: Kerry, I hear, has issued a written apology, which I hope goes something like this: "I am really sorry you pinheads are somehow unable to comprehend the vast difference between what I said and what you think you heard." I guess these morons who are sooooo offended would also have fired that mayor's aide who used the word "niggardly" a few years ago. You know, I don't care how cynical you are, every so often you encounter an example of the sheer dumbassness of most people and it's a slap in the face. The fuss over this is staggering to me. When, o moon, when will you at last crash into us and end this vulgar futility?!? Sorry, had a Dr. Smith moment there.)

Just imagine if Bush had to apologize for every time he mangled a sentence. Boy, he thinks attending soldiers' funerals would take up too much of his precious brush-clearing time!

Does the American public really need to be reminded of all the things that Bush and company should apologize for? Off the top of my head:

• Rigging and stealing the 2000 & 2004 elections, and all the nefarious deeds associated with that;
• Spying on Americans without warrants;
• Going to war with a country that posed no threat to us and in doing so ignoring the greater threats posed by other countries;
• Making the case for that war with deception and outright lies about imaginary weapons of mass destruction;
• Waging this war as a corporate money-making scheme/absurd revenge tactic;
• Pretending to attempt to bring to justice the terrorist responsible for thousands of American deaths by waging a barely-planned war in Afghanistan, then stating repeatedly that Osama was not really a concern (!?!), and then, years later, bringing his name up over and over as the election neared for cheap emotional impact;
• Sending our troops to Iraq poorly prepared, giving them substandard equipment (or none at all), feeding them expired food and contaminated water (or none at all), and, oh yeah, letting thousands of them die for no fucking good reason and then not even having the balls to let their caskets be seen, much less attend their funerals;
• Neglecting to offer even the most basic care for soldiers once they're home, or for their families while they're overseas, even going so far as to deny a measly twenty million dollars allotted for treatment of vet's head and brain injuries (I wonder how long it takes the government to spend 20 mil on the war in Iraq--an hour? Less?);
• Encouraging torture (which only endangers our own troops by letting our enemies know it's fair game) and then punishing our soldiers when they practice it, as if they hadn't been specifically instructed;
• Bothering to use his veto power only once--to quash stem-cell research, a heart-breakingly real miracle (as opposed to the supernatural ones he mulishly endorses) which he refuses to try to understand (though, to be fair, probably couldn't even if he wanted to) and misrepresents whenever he can;
• Sanctimoniously flaunting his bogus, bullying Christianity when it appears he has no clue (or doesn't really care) what Jesus Christ advocated, his flunkies using people of faith for political leverage when it's clear they have nothing but disdain for them, and even for simply believing that he has conversations with God--not quiet contemplation that gives him a sense of communion, you understand... he actually thinks he talks to God!
• The arrogant dismantling of habeas corpus, the backbone of our legal system, for whatever horrors he has yet in store toward his goal of tyranny;
• Endless propagandizing, overuse of the "lie and deny" strategy, and relying on the apathy of a public soothed by simple, orchestrated appeasements such as slightly dropping gas prices;
• Killing hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis, leading to the recent poll which found that more than 60% of them have no problem with the idea of murdering American troops...

Please comment with your favorite abuses, as I know there's much more but I'm too tired to continue. While on the subject of apologizing for jokes, however, I'll mention that an astute caller to the Young Turks on Air America pointed out that Bushie-Bush never apologized for his disgusting mockery of the non-existent WMD situation, when he filmed that short piece with him looking under couch cushions and so forth, saying "Any under here?" Tell me that wasn't truly disrespectful of our troops. What a fucking disgraceful jackass. I changed my mind, he doesn't need to apologize; he needs to resign, and take his jackals with him. Better yet, he should pull a Zachary Taylor.

One last thing... The IAVA (Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America), a non-partisan advocacy group, has released a convenient state-by-state rating guide to the voting records of our nation's Senators and Representatives, in respect to their support of our troops. (You may have to log in to view the link.) This is where you see if these folks really put their money where their mouths are. Executive Director Paul Rieckhoff said in a radio interview that these ratings reflect the votes on bills that assisted our troops in various ways, and that none of the bills was encumbered by useless riders that may have compromised their integrity. (You know, like when the GOP attacks the dems by saying they voted against free vaccinations for babies but neglects to mention that Republicans had tacked a billion-dollar pay raise for themselves onto the bill). Surprise, surprise: some of the biggest loudmouths who are the first to assail the patriotism of others got the worst grades. And I'm happy to note that Oregon did pretty well, with Darlene Hooley, currently the target of an idiotic shit-smear campaign by her repulsive challenger, getting an A-. Oh, speaking of Oregon politics, Ron Saxton is an evasive, idealess, dull-eyed pumpkinhead who shouldn't be Governor if he can't fucking spell it.

I swear to Bob I will have an utterly irrelevant seventies nostalgia post up soon!