My Writings, or Fifty-Cent Words for Two-Bit Ideas.

I've been plugging away at this blog for damn near nineteen years now, and it's evolved quite a bit along the way. This is mainly due to my collection of 70's/80's Newsday TV Books growing almost tenfold in that period, from a couple dozen to 217 today. Taking a look at those issues has become a focus here, but it's always been my intention to use this forum as an outlet for my personal writings.

Since it's gotten harder to dig out my own nostalgia pieces hidden among the pop culture nuggets, I thought I'd compile the reminiscences and deposit them right here in this post. (Did you mentally add a *splat* sound effect to that sentence? Because I did.)

Oh, and if you're only interested in the old Tee-Vee listings--and I totally don't blame you--those are easily accessible through this other post.

I grew up on Long Island, the youngest of seven, and attended Catholic school.

Even before I was school age, I went to see Krofft on Ice in the city. I harbored various crushes as a kid, starting with Clarice, the stop-motion reindeer.

Don't ask me how, but I remember a lot about my first grade orientation in 1975. Later I would go to school dressed as Frankenstein, sort of.

One of my first friends was David K_____, and he was an odd li'l fella (this post includes my first grade class photo, as well as one of the scar he gave me).

I was also friends with Maria, who lived across the street. One year, she had a birthday party.

The Blizzard of '78 was a barn-burner (or, more accurately, a toy factory exploder). Summer was fun back then too, with the ice cream man and all that.

I had gerbils, beginning with Felix and Oscar. I wanted to be a stuntman. I had an occasional friend, but he didn't get to grow up.

I had a lisp, which Saint Pius helped me with.

I always liked to read, and I read The Stand in the fifth grade. I began listening to music that meant something to me in the seventh grade. I wanted to be a writer even then, and for some reason started with a western. 

My friend Mike bore the brunt of many insults, and was the subject of disparaging comics in our notebooks. (This one too, although it's less insulting.) Somehow we are friends to this day. Same goes for Jeff, who used to sleep over a lot.

I loved Christmas, and memories of Christmas, and Christmas with my family, and Christmas shows, and more Christmas shows, and Christmas music, and more Christmas music. The Sears Wish Book for 1977 was awesome, and I don't throw that word around.
New Year's Eve was cool too.

My dad was 46 when I was born, and I was sixteen when he died. My mom died in 2007, and I wrote about her funeral, and a letter she wrote to her kids.

My friends and I listened to novelty songs on the TV. I was obsessed with all things Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back (including the calendars) until losing interest before the third one came out. We did film our own take on Empire (or attempted to, anyway). I don't remember watching the Holiday Special at the time, but I have seen it many, many, many times since.

Creature Feature cards were also pretty cool.

My family got cable in August, 1981. That was a game changer.

I was a fan of Howard Stern starting from his time on WNBC. I was not a fan of Imus.

In high school, Mike and I made a zombie movie called We Are Going to Eat You. We also filmed a mock expose on homelessness, because that's funny. And here's a look at a sort-of monster movie we sort-of made.

I liked to walk around at night, a habit that led to me purloining a shitload of movie posters from a shuttered theater.

I wore cheap sneakers my freshman year, and it didn't go unnoticed. I also, strangely, participated in a school play.

I didn't go to my prom, but I later went to a girlfriend's prom, and it was a disaster.

I later worked for a telemarketer, sort of, and have the calls to prove it.

I left the Island, which was good, and moved upstate, which was not.

Later still, Mike and I lived near Myrtle Beach, and performed original songs there too. Songs such as "Sick," which is about being sick. We also wrote new music for The Clown and the Kids, the Emmett Kelly blockbuster.

Other stuff I've written about:

How the deaths of celebrities affected me as a kid.

My affinity for la réalité macabre and the mysterious entanglements within.

More oddball topics, such as Brenda Spencer, the American Airlines DC-10 crash, Jerry Falwell dying, Turkey in May™, "Blue Monday," my fondness for obscure performers, Chicken in a Can, and Mugsy from the Uncle Floyd Show.

My collection of old commercials (plus a whole other blog about it!).

Captain Ahab, a LI kiddie-show host.

My distaste for Bonaduce.

Some poetry-type stuff, and something about the seasons, and eternity.

Going down internet rabbit holes.

People disliking videos on my YouTube channel.

A coloring book from 1964 with an unexpected cameo appearance by J.K. Simmons.

Harry Truman, the codger who got blowed up on Mount St. Helen's.

An old, pain-in-the-ass cat who died, and how much my wife and I loved him.

The occasional movie review/rant, such as these targeting Almost Famous and A Beautiful Mind.

For the bigger picture, here are my grim views on atheism, the occult, life (and Life), our impending doom, and finally, two pieces that were inspired by the documentary about Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. The first is my impressions of the doc, and the follow-up covers my increasingly shaky faith in humanity.

Just so this post will have a thumbnail with it, here's a Mad Magazine page (by the great Al Jaffee) that was tacked to my wall for years because it summed up my smoky childhood so nicely...